Separate finances in a relationship

Melissao

The point is that i run out of money at the end of the month while he saves? He eats same food lives in same house has no running cost to car as owns it and free tax.insurance is barely nothing.i started all over again after my marriage.just kept my make up bag.had to get a home car phone etc..left my husband with everything but myself so as to not destroy him.i am a very fair person!! All i kno is that it is not fair within a relationship that one person is financially ok and the other is worried sick.

Melissao

Yes same house and six years together with a 1 year old and my 3.

Person_one

Melissao wrote: »

All i kno is that it is not fair within a relationship that one person is financially ok and the other is worried sick.

No, its not fair, what are you going to do about it though?

Guest101

Melissao wrote: »

The point is that i run out of money at the end of the month while he saves? He eats same food lives in same house has no running cost to car as owns it and free tax.insurance is barely nothing.i started all over again after my marriage.just kept my make up bag.had to get a home car phone etc..left my husband with everything but myself so as to not destroy him.i am a very fair person!! All i kno is that it is not fair within a relationship that one person is financially ok and the other is worried sick.

So who's house is it? Presumebly his? Which again is slightly different, as obviously you are entitled to a share of it, but my point would be that he has plowed money into a home which you now share?

Candyapple

Melissao wrote: »

Yes same house and six years together with a 1 year old and my 3.

How old is he? Does he at least contribute towards the cost of the child you have together?

You are not going to change him so unless you've had a serious talk with him about your finances you are going to end up going round in circles.

Your choices are:

1. Leave and sort out child maintenance payments from him
2. Discuss finances and come to an agreement

He knew when he met you that you had 3 kids so he should also know that your 3 kids and you come as a package. If he wants to be with you, he has to contribute towards that package.

lewishardwick

Does he know your financial situation? I mean REALLY know?

Some people buy clothes in charity shops not because they are poor, but because they don't want to may £20+ for a top in M&S or any other mid-range high street store.

AylesburyDuck

Guest101 wrote: »

I'm not saying you are wrong by the way, I agree, I just don't think that legalities need to come into it

Maybe i used the wrong word TBF, i assumed (and yes i knows its the mother of all) as if its calculated on both incomes then surely its to be used a family unit?
So maybe not legally shared but at the very least morally shared, unless of course someone has a broken compass.:)

Guest101

AylesburyDuck wrote: »

Maybe i used the wrong word TBF, i assumed (and yes i knows its the mother of all) as if its calculated on both incomes then surely its to be used a family unit?
So maybe not legally shared but at the very least morally shared, unless of course someone has a broken compass.:)

Agreed.


As far as I'm aware, outside of a court order mandating payments, there is no legal requirement to spend any income against the persons will.

enthusiasticsaver

I think he does not want to pay for your three children from a previous marriage. Have you sat down and looked at how much you spend on bills and food? To be honest I would cut the bills to utilities only and refuse to buy food for him, just you and your children. If he is that selfish why are you with him?

AylesburyDuck

Guest101 wrote: »

Agreed.


As far as I'm aware, outside of a court order mandating payments, there is no legal requirement to spend any income against the persons will.

Absolutely true,
OP as he receives the tax credits to his account would he be of a mind to at least transfer that portion to you for family use.