Is having one weekend every now and again free of visitors that unreasonable?!

Georgiegirl256

lulu_92 wrote: »

I've tried, believe me. But they told me that they can't possibly do any other time at all in the week, even though I know this isn't true. Things get left with them basically saying "well this is what I want and that's that." Regardless of anything we say.
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By them basically. saying "this is what I want and thats that", they're disrespecting your feelings. If someone did that to me, I'd be like tough, my house, my family, my rules. You're letting them walk all over you, you need to start being tougher.

Just go out this Sunday. Go for a family day out, just the 4 of you. If they turn up they turn up....tough luck.

peachyprice

Andypandyboy wrote: »

Re Pampers, they are a good make it is unusual for them not to suit babies, or leak unless they are not being changed often enough. I would complain to the manufacturer.

Pampers never suited my babies either, they were all very narrow, at least back then I had the option of Huggies (which were excellent), I don't know what I would use now, is there an alternative other than supermarket own brand?

rach_k

I know it's a pain getting up and out of the house with babies, but could you go round to theirs instead? That way, you have control of when you arrive and leave, plus you don't have to tidy or cook. Once you've established it so that you usually go to theirs, you can start missing an odd week and increase that until you're happy with how often you see them.

lulu_92

rach_k wrote: »

I know it's a pain getting up and out of the house with babies, but could you go round to theirs instead? That way, you have control of when you arrive and leave, plus you don't have to tidy or cook. Once you've established it so that you usually go to theirs, you can start missing an odd week and increase that until you're happy with how often you see them.

Good plan, I could fit in a visit to my parents as well as they live about a mile from each other. This will probably be when the girls are older as they have a big labrador who is a bit excitable and last time we took the girls over the dog was going crazy all over them and MIL wouldn't put her in the garden or her cage temporarily despite me saying I wasn't comfortable with the situation.

Although saying that, we're going over to theirs this Sunday for her birthday.

CathA

I had twins and if I didn't want visitors I'd stick a note on the door saying 'babies sleeping, do not disturb.' I'd also disconnect the doorbell. If anyone DID knock on the door, I wouldn't answer.
However, if you do end up answering the door to unwanted visitors at any time answer the door with your shoes/coat on (bit difficult in this weather!), pushchair outside ready to go, open the door as if you don't know they're there, act surprised and say 'sorry, just going out' and don't let them in. I used to keep my coat by the door for this very purpose, plus some slip-on shoes.

BrassicWoman

when they turn up, tell your OH it's great his mum is here to help and you are off to your mums for a nap.

Then do it.

Brighton_belle

BrassicWoman wrote: »

when they turn up, tell your OH it's great his mum is here to help and you are off to your mums for a nap.

Then do it.

But that doesn't solve the op's longing for family time with just her husband and the children.
That way, M-in-L has got what she wants - she isn't interested in seeing lulu anyway.

Thunderbird4

I'm confused. Your Inlaws are only round for 2 and a half hours a week. Admittedly it is a bit annoying but you've got all day Saturday for your quality time.

It sounds more that you don't like your Inlaws as opposed to anything else.

AylesburyDuck

If you asked your other half to say that while you all enjoy the visits (white lie), that every week is NOT working for you,you have things to do and cant plan, and that maybe every other week would work better, would he?
It would drive me insane i'm afraid, so i dont for one second think you unreasonable, i wouldnt be held to ransom in my own home, and they'd just have to lump it no matter how snotty they got.:eek:

bossymoo

Honestly, if they are saying "that's how it is" I would be equally as firm and say "it is not convenient for us, and that is how it is. We will not be entertaining on Sunday. Choose another time"

Really - just do it and move on. The longer you allow it to continue, the harder it will become. Just say "no, not this time"

No amount of forum contributors can do it for you.