Is having one weekend every now and again free of visitors that unreasonable?!

lulu_92

cjdavies wrote: »

How often does your Mum see the babies and what days?

My mum picks me up on a Wednesday and pops in for about 10 mins to say hi. Actual visits to spend time with the four of us are arranged as and when we are free.

missbiggles1

Artytarty wrote: »

Whilst I agree with Andypandyboy - ( I clearly remember card gate!)
I think we should be careful of encouraging Lulu to take some drastic action she may later regret.
It's all very well for us armchair experts to pontificate but this is her and her daughters future lives at stake here.

And, of course, the girls' father's.

lulu_92

newcook wrote: »

as you are seeing them this weekend for her birthday, you could say 'do you mind not coming next sunday as I've got a surprise lined up for OH' or just go out half an hour before they are due (tell OH you have told MIL) and go and have a lovely day just the 4 of you.

if OH starts to say 'we cant go out as mommy will be here soon' just go out with the kids without him. she can only dictate to you if you let her.

Pfft OH would never cooperate with that. I'll take the girls out instead.

psychopathbabble

Haven't read the whole thread but could you just tell them you are having a family day out just the 4 of you? Don't feel bad telling people you are busy that weekend and can you rearrange for another time!

I keep seeing a meme on facebook that says 'when i say i'm doing nothing this weekend, it means i'm doing nothing' and I don't see the problem with this! My friend fell out with me because they had 6 weekends where they weren't working (they both work shifts) and I said we weren't free for any of those weekends - we had plans every day except 2 days and I'm not feeling bad for wanting to actually spend a day at home with DH every now and then.

It's a difficult situation, but you both need to stand together and say no to people. Good luck xxx

Mojisola

psychopathbabble wrote: »

Haven't read the whole thread

It's a difficult situation, but you both need to stand together and say no to people.

Unfortunately, lulu's OH won't do that.

lulu_92

psychopathbabble wrote: »

Haven't read the whole thread but could you just tell them you are having a family day out just the 4 of you? Don't feel bad telling people you are busy that weekend and can you rearrange for another time!

I keep seeing a meme on facebook that says 'when i say i'm doing nothing this weekend, it means i'm doing nothing' and I don't see the problem with this! My friend fell out with me because they had 6 weekends where they weren't working (they both work shifts) and I said we weren't free for any of those weekends - we had plans every day except 2 days and I'm not feeling bad for wanting to actually spend a day at home with DH every now and then.

It's a difficult situation, but you both need to stand together and say no to people. Good luck xxx

I agree! No is a complete sentence!

Funny thing is I have never had resistance from anyone else who has asked if they can come over.

My sister asked to visit one Sunday and I said that OHs parents were visit around the time she asked, so she just popped in for ten minutes before they showed up, and OH complained that it was too early.

Andypandyboy

lulu_92 wrote: »

My mum picks me up on a Wednesday and pops in for about 10 mins to say hi. Actual visits to spend time with the four of us are arranged as and when we are free.

So are you saying that on an average week your mum spends ten mins with the babies and his mother over 2 hours on a Sunday?

Candyapple

lulu_92 wrote: »

I brought up the comments in last night's discussion and he couldn't say anything. I asked him if that's what he really thinks of our relationship and he said no. I said I'm sick of just words and I need actions to prove it as because he's said these things before they stick with me and affect me.
He says I'm being too impatient because the girls are only 4 months old so I shouldn't have expected engagement or anything and if I really wanted to get married we could have not had children instead, which I explained with the reasons I posted on here earlier.

lulu_92 wrote: »

I know, and I got some pressure while pregnant to go for this kind of wedding. I said I either wanted to elope and just have a couple of witnesses off the street, or have a "proper" wedding.

Pressure from who? Your partner?

If it was from your partner, why has he backtracked now saying that you shouldn’t even be expecting to be engaged, when 4 months ago he was pressuring you into getting married?

lulu_92

Yes, my mum spends way less time with the girls on a weekly basis, but helped me out massively in the beginning, using her holidays to help me take the girls to appointments and the like.

The pressure came from family and friends, just so we'd be married. OH flat out refused the idea.

Candyapple

Lulu how old is your partner and how long have you two been together for?