Is having one weekend every now and again free of visitors that unreasonable?!

lulu_92

Candyapple wrote: »

Lulu how old is your partner and how long have you two been together for?

32. We've been together for five years

missbiggles1

lulu_92 wrote: »

I agree! No is a complete sentence!

Funny thing is I have never had resistance from anyone else who has asked if they can come over.

My sister asked to visit one Sunday and I said that OHs parents were visit around the time she asked, so she just popped in for ten minutes before they showed up, and OH complained that it was too early.

Why couldn't she come at the same time?

lulu_92

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Why couldn't she come at the same time?

We live in a 2 bed terraced house, space is extremely limited what with all of the stuff two babies come with. I did offer but she preferred to come alone so she would be able to give the girls a cuddle.

Jo_F

Sussed it, Lulu, pack a bag for you and the girls, then ask your parents to arrive at 11.30 on Sunday, ready to take the 3 of you off to theirs for a bit of RnR.

That way you can get a break, make a stand and actually have someone there with your back.

Andypandyboy

lulu_92 wrote: »

Yes, my mum spends way less time with the girls on a weekly basis, but helped me out massively in the beginning, using her holidays to help me take the girls to appointments and the like.

The pressure came from family and friends, just so we'd be married. OH flat out refused the idea.

And therein may lie part of your problem.....;)

lulu_92

Andypandyboy wrote: »

And therein may lie part of your problem.....;)

I'm guessing so too. It was never hidden. My mum offered to come over every afternoon for a week as OH only had a week off work and half of it was spent in hospital.

I'm not one to ask for help but she offered.

Andypandyboy

lulu_92 wrote: »

I'm guessing so too. It was never hidden. My mum offered to come over every afternoon for a week as OH only had a week off work and half of it was spent in hospital.

I'm not one to ask for help but she offered.

Did "MIL" not offer?

lulu_92

Andypandyboy wrote: »

Did "MIL" not offer?

Not that I recall.

Mojisola

lulu_92 wrote: »

I'm guessing so too. It was never hidden. My mum offered to come over every afternoon for a week as OH only had a week off work and half of it was spent in hospital.

Honestly, these are grown-ups involved! You shouldn't have to make sure that each mother has an equal time with you and the grandchildren like you might if they were teenagers arguing over one of them having more time on the computer than the other!

We were living with my OH's parents when our children were little. My parents visited for a few days when the children were born and then came for a day every so often. My OH's parents were with them every day.

We then moved nearer my parents so the situation pretty well reversed.

If either my Mum or MIL had made a fuss because the other grandmother got to spend more time with the children, I would have told them to grow up!

ska_lover

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I don't see any point in setting up combative positions when compromises are available, particularly by people who aren't even on the sidelines IRL.

I also don't believe that the OP's is the only POV in this domestic situation and think that onlookers should keep an open mind. We aren't her friends or her cheerleaders - the situation may be exactly as she describes it but the reality could be completely different.

I completely agree, which is why I find it interesting that you repeatedly take a combative position and cheerlead the OPs husbands POV.


To allow one person to have their own way all the time is not an adult relationship, sorry but it isn't, and never will be. Anyone who thinks it is has got a lot of growing up to do - fact.


And the people who say words along the lines of 'there are two sides to every story' yes of course there are, but clearly all we have available to discuss, is what the OP is telling us and as complete strangers we can only take this at face value rather than guessing on a complete strangers life