Is having one weekend every now and again free of visitors that unreasonable?!

Caroline_a

I think I missed commenting on an earlier post, OP, that your parenting skills were being criticised? I this too - "All mine were potty trained by a year," "why aren't you putting her on rusks now? (aged one week)" etc etc. I tended to sort of uhuh... and then do my own thing. It did get very wearing, but you are the one with the power really - it is your way that the babies will be brought up.

Alternatively, you could suggest that they babysit for a day or so while you and other half go out? That might stop it!

However, I do think that these weekly visits won't stop until something drastic happens, either other half grows some balls or you go and visit your mum one Sunday with the babies.

What sort of reaction would you get if you were virtually ready to go out when they arrived? Would they go with you or would you get tantrums?

AylesburyDuck

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Some of us like to try to see as many points of view as possible, not just the one that's being laid out in front of us.

Which is totally fine IF you had another POV laid out in front of you, making it baseless advice in reality.

lulu_92

Caroline_a wrote: »

I think I missed commenting on an earlier post, OP, that your parenting skills were being criticised? I this too - "All mine were potty trained by a year," "why aren't you putting her on rusks now? (aged one week)" etc etc. I tended to sort of uhuh... and then do my own thing. It did get very wearing, but you are the one with the power really - it is your way that the babies will be brought up.

Alternatively, you could suggest that they babysit for a day or so while you and other half go out? That might stop it!

However, I do think that these weekly visits won't stop until something drastic happens, either other half grows some balls or you go and visit your mum one Sunday with the babies.

What sort of reaction would you get if you were virtually ready to go out when they arrived? Would they go with you or would you get tantrums?

Yeah I get that every week. "Babies don't need milk at nine months" "why aren't they sleeping through?" "Yes well guidelines change you know". We have both tried to explain to her that things have changed since she last had a baby 27 years ago, and that things are different with twins, especially development because they were born early. Also I never get anything positive attributed to me. They're only gorgeous because of OH, they have none of my physical traits whatsoever (lies, one of them is the spitting image of me, the other is a perfect blend of me and OH)

Oh I'd get the biggest tantrum going. "But you know we come over this time every week!" Although they never call ahead so I could have that as a response.

missbiggles1

AylesburyDuck wrote: »

Which is totally fine IF you had another POV laid out in front of you, making it baseless advice in reality.

You don't have to have another POV laid out in front of you to know that it's not necessarily the only version. Otherwise we'd all believe every word our children tell us when they come home from school after having been punished for something!:rotfl:

AylesburyDuck

missbiggles1 wrote: »

You don't have to have another POV laid out in front of you to know that it's not necessarily the only version. Otherwise we'd all believe every word our children tell us when they come home from school after having been punished for something!:rotfl:

Of course theres another version, so im unsure of what your laughing at because you havnt heard it, or read it directly, and any other version purely made up in your head is just that.
Made up
We're going to have to agree to disagree before im called Combative (to ska lover i think) or stirring as you called me yesterday.
Sorry but people cant always agree with you, you'll just have to get over it and move on....

Andypandyboy

AylesburyDuck wrote: »

Of course theres another version, so im unsure of what your laughing at because you havnt heard it, or read it directly, and any other version purely made up in your head is just that.
Made up
We're going to have to agree to disagree before im called Combative (to ska lover i think) or stirring as you called me yesterday.
Sorry but people cant always agree with you, you'll just have to get over it and move on....

Ditto, I think!;)

The other side of the coin can be clearly seen in other posts the OP has written and by what she has said on here. You don't need to be Mystic Meg, Sherlock Holmes or a writer of fiction to see that.

There is a power struggle at work here, and Lulu's OH is stuck in the middle of it, either from lethargy, choice, indifference or custom and practice.

Either way, it is obvious there are a myriad of issues going on all with a knock on effect to the rest.

It isn't just about "MIL" will only visit at 11am on Sunday.......

AylesburyDuck

Point taken on the Ditto

Artytarty

Whilst I agree with Andypandyboy - ( I clearly remember card gate!)
I think we should be careful of encouraging Lulu to take some drastic action she may later regret.
It's all very well for us armchair experts to pontificate but this is her and her daughters future lives at stake here.

newcook

as you are seeing them this weekend for her birthday, you could say 'do you mind not coming next sunday as I've got a surprise lined up for OH' or just go out half an hour before they are due (tell OH you have told MIL) and go and have a lovely day just the 4 of you.

if OH starts to say 'we cant go out as mommy will be here soon' just go out with the kids without him. she can only dictate to you if you let her.

Marvel1

How often does your Mum see the babies and what days?