Is having one weekend every now and again free of visitors that unreasonable?!

lulu_92

chesky wrote: »

This thread is becoming incredibly repetitive. Lulu must realise by now that at some point her OH is going to have to choose between the two women in his life. And at the moment, his mother stands out as the clear winner.

Can you not stay in on Saturday and have family time together? Do your shopping either on line or on Sunday. Then you take the children out on Sunday, doesn't matter where, leaving your OH at home if needs be. If you do this three weekends running, they might just realise they're wasting their time.

And by the way, check out whether grandparents are allowed to open bank accounts for grandchildren. I do know that when I wanted to open ISAs for mine, my son and daughter had to sign the actual paperwork as the parents as I was not legally allowed to. It would be nice if she was breaking the law, but I'm not 100% sure.

I know, I'm not going to be the one he chooses any time soon. Pretty much summed up by us not being married. Resentment is growing every day so I can imagine it blowing up sooner rather than later.

That's the thing. I have no idea what account they want to open, where it is being opened, or anything! It was literally the two words "bank account" that they used to inform us. They are badgering for the birth certificates every week. The fact that I only wanted them to have one bank account each that were opened by us has gone largely ignored by all.

lulu_92

candygirl wrote: »

Omg that's my fave all time quote :T
LULU not sure if this has been suggested yet, but how about telling the outlaws to text or ring before they come round.That way you can be "out" , at your own convenience.
If they don't play ball with this idea, you've every right to kick off.Hubs sounds as much use as a chocolate fire guard :mad:

It took me ages for them to do that as they'd just pop round as they wished. This arrangement is exactly that. At 11am every Sunday they're at the door. I suppose I can use this information to my advantage.

AylesburyDuck

catkins wrote: »

Yes it does sound harsh because it is.

If it is not in your nature to be outspoken and stand up for yourself then it is very difficult to change.

It took quite a lot of abuse and interfering from my MIL until I stood up to her (not that it made any difference) and I was shaking each time I did and even physically sick a couple of times.

You would probably call me a "victim" as most of the time I would rather have an easy life than rock the boat. I have got a bit better as I have got older but I am still the person that people push in front of in queues and, most of the time, says nothing although fuming inside.

Would it shock you to find i was the same, i learnt to find my voice rather than remain a victim and see my marriage crumble due to frustration/resentment, i did say it may seem harsh, but i still stand by what i said. It sounds like you are chageing also, so maybe it hits a nerve with you rather than out and out seeing me harsh.;)

Mojisola

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I don't think that dishing out an ultimatum is a productive way forward nor an adult way to deal with marital problems.

If you've tried everything else, sometimes it's the only way to make the other person realise that there actually is something wrong with the relationship.

lulu's OH doesn't seem to take her seriously (or doesn't care that she is upset).

She could carry on repeating the things she's already said to him for the next forty years without them having any impact unless something brings him up short and he sees just how serious things have become.

Marvel1

Pollycat wrote: »

Or take the twins and leave him - but unless you are serious about breaking up with him, that would just be an empty act.

I don't know but why do the twins have to leave and not just her?

Caroline_a

I'd be tempted to get really'unwell' for this weekend. You could wake up feeling awful. Then say, you go dear, take the babies, I'll just sleep, and see how they all cope with nappy changing, feeding, etc.

But I feel for you, having had a matriarchal mother in law. It's a constant battle!

Mojisola

lulu_92 wrote: »

I know, I'm not going to be the one he chooses any time soon. Pretty much summed up by us not being married.

Off the main topic but do you both have wills?

As you aren't married, you wouldn't inherit anything from him under the intestacy rules.

chesky

I don't think I could live with anyone who disrespected me so much, so I'd be packing my bags. But that's just me and would probably not appeal to lulu.

hazyjo

If you all insist on shopping together on a weekend, go on the Sunday instead of the Saturday. Text them to say you won't be around that day and look forward to seeing them next week.


Jx

chesky

chesky wrote: »

I don't think I could live with anyone who disrespected me so much, so I'd be packing my bags. But that's just me and would probably not appeal to lulu.

Meant to add the babies' clothes too.....