Children - and all the mess!

Andrew_Ryan_89

Especially before they are 2 years of age, toys are usually wasted on children. Both my nephews and niece have a box load of toys and don't play with a single one. Before they were 2, the simplest things we get their attention. My headphones, the computer keyboard, the plug socket, extension cord and my glasses were far more interesting to them than all their toys.

Only once they could speak they were swayed by the soft toys and cars but those only lasted a couple of weeks. The only thing that has kept their interest is the Ipad.

MallyGirl

fairy_lights wrote: »

Sound like your sister just wanted an excuse to get rid of some of the old broken toys she had cluttering up her own house, and palming them off on you was easier than taking them to a charity shop.

When you first have a baby you think everyone around you is being kind giving you all the stuff they think you might need - then you realise they are just grateful for somewhere to dump their excess baggage!

Mojisola

picklekin wrote: »

I am about to adopt a baby girl (9 months) in two weeks time.

This has been added to by my sister who has delivered 4 BIN BAGS full of old (often incomplete) toys!

Added to this, my DD (oooh, first time I've typed that!) will come with loads of her OWN toys.

I would put everything away that your sister has 'kindly' given you away for the moment.

Let your daughter have the toys she is familiar with. There are going to be enough changes in her life without bombarding her with a confusing amount of toys.

You will soon see the kind of thing she likes to play with. Once life has settled down, you can go through the bags from your sister in your own time and decide whether to keep or send to a charity shop or throw away.

macca1974

couldn't agree more to all of the answers given. A 9 month old will happily play with a very small number of simple toys. I don't think that they actually really get the hang of "playing" in any meaningful way until they are 2-3. One of the things that I wish that we'd done was to be ruthless with things. I have a 12 year old and a 4 year old. We now have a corner of the conservatory filled with probably £100's worth of toys (most old toys of 12 yr old to be fair) that never get any use because the four year old can't get to them.

I'd thank your sister very much, store most of the toys away in the loft if you have one for "when she gets old enough to play with them" and start of with some very simple toys. All that a 9 month old needs is lots and lots of unconditional love and attention from her parents.

Your house won't be a show home for a few years, but you certainly don't need to fill it with things that will never be used.

Congratulations!

Mojisola

picklekin wrote: »

she laughed at me, saying that children needed all this and just get used to my house being "a tip" (her words).

I realise my life will change, that I can't always have the tidy house I've had in the past but does it really have to be this bad?

You will find the place that you can live with that's somewhere along the spectrum between "all toys can be out and scattered around until harassed parent loses it and picks everything up" and "only one toy is allowed out at a time and must be replaced by child in toy box before another is removed". (I know someone who was at the ultra-tidy end and I felt very sorry for her child).

prosaver

I wouldn't take them ..just say no Im going to buy my own ...baby to young anyway.
The baby will get lots of presents anyway thats suitable for it age ..just saying...

Georgiegirl256

picklekin wrote: »

I'm trying not to be ungrateful to my sister, but it feels like she's enjoying my distress, a kind of "welcome to my pain" kinda thing.
,.

Don't be silly, I'm sure she's not trying to cause you distress on purpose. In her mind she's being helpful. Either decline anymore offers of toys, and/or sort the ones you've been given out into piles to keep and not keep, and take the ones still complete and in good condition to the charity shop, or get them to pick them up.

Congrats on your new daughter!

natbags

congratulations - this is your daughter, your home, your way of doing things
You will find your own way of incorporating toys etc into your life and home. For now I would pick out a few of the 'new' toys and wash/put the others away, but your daughter will feel comforted by the familiar ones she brings with her, then over a period of time change the toy mix round - its will be like xmas/birthdays - new toys YAY! You will find your feet, just enjoy your time with her bonding and having fun x

Dont forget none of us first time parents get instructions (would be so much more simple if we did!) we all have to start somewhere

picklekin

Thanks for all your replies, I was planning on keeping all the new toys away at first and let her just have her current ones that are familiar. I will box some up and put them in the garage. I'll have to try to keep strong and refuse any more. It's good to know people think she won't need many as my husband is worried she wont be stimulated enough without all these toys (as that's what sis it's saying).

Georgie - Maybe I am being silly, but I'm not so sure, she's said quite a few unkind things. I told her all this was really bothering me (in a serious voice) and she just laughed at me. I think she's being oddly competitive saying things like "you're going to have a good one [a child] and make me look bad" etc. She has a hard time with her two, but I've always been there for her. Not sure what to make of her currently though.

Alikay

It's frustrating being given other people's junk, especially if they still have some kind of attachment to it and think that it's going to be hugely useful to you!

I'd go through it quickly and possibly keep a few bits which may be useful:
Something to ride on
Something to push around
Some "miniature world" bits, (ELC Happyland, Playmobile)
Plus any Brio, Lego or Duplo to add to your DD's future collection - it's pricey stuff and you can't have too much.
Books - Only keep them if YOU like them... you are the one who'll be reading them, and there's nothing worse than being asked to read the same story night after night if you detest it (we loathed Beatrix Potter due to the dated language which was pitched at a much older age-group than the toddlers they were given to)

Then bin/charity shop the rest.

Congratulations on becoming a mum too - what fabulous news :j:j