Children - and all the mess!

jackomdj

GwylimT wrote: »

Our son came home two days ago after being in hospital, in less than a minute today he did a poo, got it out of his nappy and thoroughly mashed it into the carpet.

You'll accept that your child makes too much mess and is gross in no time, theres a good book called Go the f*ck to sleep.

Thankfully not all children are like this. Neither of mine did this, nor did any of my friends children. I only know of one friends child who drew on the walls.

My children did make a mess, but their mess was tidied up.

I wouldn't keep any broken toys as they may be dangerous. Your little one will end up with too many toys, but make sure they are ones you are happy with.

JIL

I think you will find your own way and what works for you as a family.

All you need to do is concentrate on what works best for you.

Your daughter will soon let you know which toys she likes best and let that guide you.

Wishing you all the very best and huge congratulations.

hollydays

You'll figure it out for yourself.
Trust your own instincts , you'll be just fine

pickledonionspaceraider

OP , after all you have been through in the adoption process, are you sure this isn't stress manifesting itself now it is almost complete?

I mean is this really about how tidy your house is going to be? You sound extremely anxious over a few toys.

The truth is, you may never have show house ever again, but you will have a home. Filled with toys, and squeals. When they are babies you throw the toys in a toybox when they have gone bed. Five minutes? And as they grow you teach them to tidy up when they are done playing.

Don't doubt yourself, you are gona be fine

gayleygoo

Congratulations!

I remember this being stressed out at all the stuff we accumulated when DD was born! Everybody gave us things, bags of toys and clothes, and bought huge presents we had no space for! Now I just thank the person and keep the good stuff, and donate the rest to charity. (People hardly ever want their old kid-stuff back, but it's a good idea just to check before you donate it all.) A 9 month old doesn't really need any toys. Blocks, a doll and some toddler-proof books will see them through the first year or two.

Now that we have three children, we could actually open a toy shop with what they have and very little of it has been bought by us!

It's great that you have supportive family, as long as you have a mental filter for all the advice you don't agree with. Becoming parents is a stressful time, but you'll be absolutely fine and you'll learn to deal with it as you go

Mojisola

picklekin wrote: »

I am about to adopt a baby girl (9 months) in two weeks time.

I'm trying not to be ungrateful to my sister, but it feels like she's enjoying my distress, a kind of "welcome to my pain" kinda thing.

When your sister starts to get you down, remember that you and your husband have been vetted, tested and interviewed and professionals have decided that you will make good parents - whereas your sister just had kids without anyone knowing how good she would be.

barbiedoll

Yes, totally agree with everyone else, kids don't need hundreds of toys.

At 9 months, your daughter will be happy with a cardboard box (big enough to crawl into) some wooden spoons and something to bang on (anything that makes a noise is good) a newspaper (good for ripping up!) and a mirror...babies love to look into a mirror.

She is not to young to have books and do get into the habit of reading her a bedtime story. If you can send a toddler to bed at a reasonable time, with the promise of a book, it makes life so much easier!

9 months is a lovely age, they're responsive, they giggle and laugh and they eat proper food. They also tend to sleep mostly through the night. I can think of quite a few parents of newborns who would happily exchange their screechy, demanding baby for a lovely 9 month-old! :rotfl:

Don't freak out about "mess". Just come to terms with the fact that the floor will be covered with toys during the day. Before she goes to bed, stick everything back into the toybox (the larger the better) in a corner of the room and forget about it.

Good luck on your incredible journey!

Mojisola

barbiedoll wrote: »

Just come to terms with the fact that the floor will be covered with toys during the day.

It doesn't have to be. I'm nowhere near a tidy freak but I drew the line at toys everywhere - we had to be able to walk around without tripping over or stepping on toys for our own safety and to prevent damage to toys.

My parents had very little money when we were growing up and we were taught to look after our belongings. I did the same with our kids - someone worked hard to earn the money to buy the toys so it wasn't acceptable not to look after them.

I was shocked by the casual way some of their friends threw toys around or stepped on them while walking across the room!

Lazarus_Blackstar

picklekin wrote: »

I am about to adopt a baby girl (9 months) in two weeks time.

How lovely it is reading this sentence! All I can say is you already sound like a very caring & loving mum.
No amount of toys can ever make up for all the love you have for her.
You do what's right for you & your baby girl. After all, you & your husband are the ones bringing her up for the next 18 years.
There's lots of good advice on this thread so just follow your heart.

Lastly - Congratulations!

mrs_Badger

You will no doubt get loads of gifts, and far too much at Christmas and birthdays, but you don't have to use it all or even have it all out in the house. I have a large storage box for 'gifts' and every year or so it gets emptied to the charity shop, after a safe amount of time has passed. People mean well, but your life, home and family should be 100% on your terms. A cluttered house will not help a cluttered mind. You can be tidy while still being relaxed and if things aren't put away everyday it is no big deal.

Lovely news about your new daughter!!!