Children - and all the mess!

lush_walrus

Yes they are messy but the rewards are massive for the mess. With the incompleteness of toys really do not worry about that the only people who Notice incomplete toys is adults - children invent their own toys which is how they have become incomplete in the first place.

Keep the toys it is going to be a massive help in the future toys are expensive and it is impossible to predict which they will like. I can't tell you how many toys we have that are untouched and then somethings that cost 1 pound played to death.

sweetilemon

Congratulations on becoming a mummy! ! Enjoy every second.

I had a daughter in March, everyone and their granny wanted to offload their junk. ..sorry...second hand things. I wanted to choose what I wanted for my first child so politely said "thanks but I've got enough/have seen the one I want". I did accept some things that I would use. In reality with the new gifts alone I was totally overwhelmed with the amount of new gifts, especially clothes we received! I looked after my daughter and my husband helped look after me and the house. I coped by taking time to sort everything out and tidy it all away (washing and hanging up clothes, sorting it into age range).

Some mums were a bit smug and smirky like you describe but I think that's with a more 'welcome to my world' type feeling. I didn't take offence and was quite willing to take the sleepless nights.

Unfortunately I lost my daughter in April to meningitis. My house is generally tidy (especially when I'm on maternity leave) and I know some of my friends with children feel embarrassed when I visit as they have a living room covered with toys but really I would take that any day to be with my daughter. Your house doesn't have to be a 'tip', you can have cuddly toy nets, book cases and toy boxes. At night tidy toys away and give the place a clean. Sunny days you can go out with the pram anyway. Try not to stress about the odd mark in your carpet or pen mark somewhere as the magnet says..."excuse the mess my children are making memories" but this doesn't mean you can't teach your daughter to respect her belongings.

Personally I would sort through and offer back the toys that are not suitable and bin if they are not wanted back. Unwanted clutter will just get in the road and as you get to know your daughter you'll see plenty of things to buy you will think she'll like.

A nice idea is to give your daughter a 'special day' celebration in following years just between the two of you. A card and a gift to mark the adoption date as well as celebrating her birthday.

DigForVictory

Rousing congratulations & welcome to the wild water ride that is parenthood.

You will be given Lots of Stuff, much of it relatively useless, and the only arbiter of "have I got house space for this" is You. Apart from mam'selle who may have a few treasures you dare only wash when you're certain she's out for the count.
Hoard the Lego, chuck broken toys & donate everything that doesn't "make you smile" a la Marie Kondo.

Mam'selle has You - the ultimate, ever reliable, always intriguing toy. You may shortly be wondering if surrounding her with bags of toys means you can have a 10 minute nap - sadly, no.

Photo with you & birth parents? It'll be drowned in a sea of other photos, so best foot forward for the camera then back to reality once done. "It worked for us" is going on my tombstone.

Other families are exactly that - Other. Some ideas will travel, others won't - and so give some ago, and give some another go about 4 years later. Honest - what works on a baby may not work on a toddler & yet work soundly on primary schoolers.

Sis may mean well, or be using you as a toy dump or be lamenting her imminent loss of backstop childcare - or a bit of all three. Noone said family made sense! Love her anyway & cuddle all the Official Approval to you when she gets a bit much.

Welcome to becoming a family - all the very best of luck & love to you all!

enthusiasticsaver

My daughter and son in law have a 10 month old DD and yes she does play with toys but their house is not a mess. They have somewhere to store the smaller toys in the lounge and her bedroom and get a different drawer out each day of toys for her so they are constantly being changed.

Some of the toys your sister may have given you may not be age appropriate and as you say if some are incomplete or broken then I would get rid of them. Sort out the age appropriate ones and make sure you have enough storage. My daughter changed a toy box for a 6 drawer storage unit as she said she could never find a particular toy in the toy box as it was too deep.

There is no need for your house to be a mess if you are organised and have enough storage for everything your baby needs. Congratulations.

hazyjo

A stopwatch is all that's needed to get kids to put their toys away. See how quickly they can do it, keep a chart and get them to beat their own time. Had in-law family, and babysat, and had sis' family - the timer thing worked for them lol.

Jx

dirty_magic

Congratulations! I think you're just nervous so you're stressing over everything unnecessarily. You'll be fine when the little one arrives and you settle in.

Agree with everyone else, a 9 month old doesn't need loads of toys, she'll probably prefer to try to suck the TV remote! My toddler nephews get more excited over little things like helping to unload the dishwasher or washing machine. They do love their toy tool kits though!

picklekin

Thank you all for all your advice and support. I showed my husband the tread too which was helpful as I think he sometimes think that as my sister has more experience we have to follow ALL her advice. (I think that's just HIS nerves showing).

I've tidied some of the stuff into the garage and been busily making flat pack so everything will have a home and feel a lot calmer now. Now I can start getting excited about what the next few weeks will bring.

Mojisola

picklekin wrote: »

T
I showed my husband the tread too which was helpful as I think he sometimes think that as my sister has more experience we have to follow ALL her advice. (I think that's just HIS nerves showing).

You will get loads of advice - the trick is to listen, nod your head and then ignore most of it.

Your child will not be exactly the same as anyone else's child; your family unit will not work exactly the same as anyone else's.

Find your own way with what suits the three of you.

Loz01

Congrats OP on adopting!! As for bags of toys... unnecessary!! You know what kids are like, she will probably end up liking the most weirdest/oldest toy or probably just a cardboard box :rotfl: - as for your house being a tip, incorrect!! Encourage toddlers to help pick up, reward them for putting their toys in boxes and you will grow up in a relatively tidy house IMO. Tell your sister a firm "thanks but no thanks"