Children - and all the mess!

thorsoak

Life is not meant to be a competition - who can have the best-behaved/most messy child - each and every family unit is unique and enjoys and should enhance their own environment.

At the end of the day, when all children are grown up, they are not going to remember an impressively tidy home any more than they will remember a terrifically chaotic home - they will remember homes with laughter and love.

Relax ...and breathe xxxxx

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Kids really don't need masses of stuff, especially not tatty, secondhand things if you don't want them. Take the bin bags and shove them in the bin. It's certainly going to look less like a tip without them cluttering up the place - and she'll have space to crawl around and learn to walk if there isn't detritus everywhere.


Wandering slightly off topic;

One of my friends was adopted as a baby about the same age - she says one of the most amusing things in the world when she was little was arguing with her older brother, where she would always win any argument by saying 'if you don't like me, it's your own fault - you chose me!'.

(He was adopted and they took him to meet her a couple of years later when he was about 4, saying 'Well, do you like her? Shall we bring her home?' Fortunately, he said yes....)

FBaby

OP, your house will be what you want it to be because you will set your own priorities. If having a very tidy house is one for you because you get very anxious when it isn't, then you will neglect something else and focus on this (unless you are super mum and manage to do anything perfect, but never met such a mum!).

Don't get cross with your sister, she only means well. You sound quite anxious about the whole thing, and it is totally understandable as you going straight into a situation that other parents will have had time to adjust to, however, she is right in that you will find that as you become more comfortable in your role as a mum, and soon becomes second nature, you will see how much your lovely daughter will change how you see things. The French have a brilliant saying when it comes to this which goes 'before I was a parent, I had principles'. Indeed, it's amazing how those things that you thought were essential before you become a parent become totally insignificant, replaced by matters that you'd never considered before which suddenly become much more important (getting proper sleep as priority number one being the common one!).

At things stands, you don't need to make any decisions that will be best made when your little girl is there. Some babies love toys and can play with them for hours, whilst others are not interested and demand much one to one attention instead. Some kids can play with one toy for hours, some (like my two monsters!) would get bored playing with one after a few minutes, and then with all under 1/2 hour, pestering me to entertain them! I dreamed at the time of a self contained baby, but then they became easy children and now even easier teenagers. They all have their time!

melanzana

12_month_challenge wrote: »

Ahh this just melted my heart :A

Congratulations Picklekin and wishing lots of happy years ahead with her.
x

Me too..had a lump in my throat there. Many congratulations OP, how very exciting and what a wonderful thing!

I don't have any children myself, but was a prolific babysitter for masses of nieces and nephews down the years. I never had any toys in the house so they brought their favourites with them when they stayed over.

But honestly, depending on their ages, the best thing ever was kneeling them on a chair by the sink and making MASSES of bubbles with washing up liquid, then give them a few plastic cups and plates to wash. Oh the memories!

Next was to empty the pot drawer onto the kitchen floor and hand over a wooden spoon. I wore earplugs while the "drums" were being played:rotfl:

Such enjoyment and love I got from them when they were little, and even now that they have grown up they are still the same to me.

Sorry for rambling there, I didn't help at all with your question, but others have.

You brought back some lovely memories for me.

LKRDN_Morgan

Ah congrats OP!! Such lovely news.

Totally agree with what everyone else is saying about kids not needing masses of toys but what I will say is that kids don't automatically mean your house is going to look like a bombs hit it.

If you like a tidy house don't feel bad about having that urge even when the baby comes! I can't relax in mess. It takes 2 mins to load the dishwasher/ washing machine or make the beds etc.
I think hoovering was the only thing I neglected and that was so not to wake a sleeping baby! Nothings worth risking that

.j.e.j

warby68 wrote: »

Who passes on broken toys?

People who want to dump their stuff on others.

The ex-Mother in law was famous for it. Donated a broken vac to one person whose vacuum cleaner had been stolen. Meaning it just stood in the hallway cluttering up their home instead of her own. She's passed on a broken futon mattress with stuffing coming out of it, and various other bits of junk over the years.

GwylimT

Our son came home two days ago after being in hospital, in less than a minute today he did a poo, got it out of his nappy and thoroughly mashed it into the carpet.

You'll accept that your child makes too much mess and is gross in no time, theres a good book called Go the f*ck to sleep.

KiKi

picklekin wrote: »

Yes, we will tell her all about her past, obviously in an age appropriate way. She will come with a life story book currently written by our social workers and then added to by us. The scary part is when we go to meet the birth parents. I am doing it for our daughter, so she can have a connection between her past and our future (want to get a photo with the 4 of us), but I'm really dreading it.. *gulp*

The wonderful thing is that you'll be able to tell your daughter that you met her birth parents and what you thought of them etc. Especially if this is the last contact for her (ie, no plans for her to continue to see her birth parents). Social services are used to handling these situations, so it won't be you, them and your daughter in a room alone. You may also find that it helps you connect her to her past as well, and that you're not just taking a child from a blank space that you haven't experienced.

And yes, it will be overwhelming, and you're probably in that space where everyone is saying how exciting it is, and all you can think of is how much your life will change overnight! Most people forget that you've not had the build up to this (not in the same way, anyway), so your sister's insensitivity isn't helping, I'm sure. Sounds like she may be a bit jealous that she's the one who's always had the kids, and now you're seen as competition.

Ignore it, and enjoy every moment of the chaos and love!

KiKi

kimplus8

Congratulations on adopting your little girl. It's amazing being a parent- just ignore what other do/ say and find your own way. I personally don't think children need that much by way of toys, they tend to find a few they like and ignore the rest. All a child really needs is love and attention and it sounds like she will be blessed with plenty of that.
Everyone seems to have an opinion on why their parenting way is the best way but trust me you will find what works best for you and your family and that's the right way for you.
I'll be looking forward to hearing how your getting on with a new daughter- amazing.
Love k+8

Qtipps4

Lovely news. Congratulations.

Children don't need lots of toys. They will want to copy what you do so a pan and a wooden spoon, books, old remote control etc will be played with most.
As they get older they will need more but I found a few toys at a time got played with for longer then when there was too many toys lying around. Low shelves with a few toys displayed nicely will encourage your child to play with them. Keep some stored away in boxes and rotate. Her favourites will become obvious and can be given a special place.
Enjoy this special time and trust your instincts.