How much rent should my parents charge me?

Detroit

JReacher1 wrote: »

If she is not asking for rent as she wants her son to save for a mortgage then it may upset her if the son then buys her lavish gifts.

I have an elderly mother who is on a pension and I earn a sizeable salary yet when i go out for lunch with her if I don't let her pay she starts to cry as she thinks she should be able to buy me lunch. It's frankly ridiculous but it makes her happy.

Different circumstances.

I was suggesting an option for someone who lives with the parent, and wants to contribute to his keep, but has one parent who wants him to and one who doesn't.

Presumably in this situation he'll upset one of his parents.

I guess which one it should be will be subject to different opinions, depending on which side of the rents for fee v 'rents for free debate you're on.

Cloudydaze

Detroit wrote: »

I suppose it's possible.

A shame if so though, as being able to give something back to their parents is very important to some adult children, and it would be a shame if the gesture was not graciously received by the parent.

Giving back to your parents doesn't have to be in the shape of money or gifts or indeed in a specific timeframe.

Giving them your time and your support especially as they get older is far more meaningful.

Detroit

Cloudydaze wrote: »

Giving back to your parents doesn't have to be in the shape of money or gifts or indeed in a specific timeframe.

Giving them your time and your support especially as they get older is far more meaningful.

Possibly not in the OPs mother's case. She's asked for £50 per week hard cash.
Maybe just as well as when she's older her daughter will be in the U.S.

Also possibly not in the case of messedup's bf's dad. Who also would like a financal contribution.

JReacher1

Detroit wrote: »

Different circumstances.

I was suggesting an option for someone who lives with the parent, and wants to contribute to his keep, but has one parent who wants him to and one who doesn't.

Presumably in this situation he'll upset one of his parents.

I guess which one it should be will be subject to different opinions, depending on which side of the rents for fee v 'rents for free debate you're on.

I don't understand why you people are getting into an argument about these sides.

As I can see it some people want to charge their kids rent and some people don't. It's down to personal choice and nobody else's business

Neither charging you children rent or not charging your children rent is right or wrong. It's posters like yourself saying that one side is wrong eg not charging rent is emotionally harming your children which has made this thread go off track.

Both sides on this thread have behaved badly although it appears that the charging rent side has more support (I would guess due to the fact this is a money saving site and people on it tend to from a demographic without much spare cash).

Torry_Quine

Silvercar

While I see the sentiment I don't agree with all of it. I would never go in without knocking, raid the cupboards for food or look at their mail. :eek:

pollypenny

JReacher1 wrote: »

I don't understand why you people are getting into an argument about these sides.

As I can see it some people want to charge their kids rent and some people don't. It's down to personal choice and nobody else's business

Neither charging you children rent or not charging your children rent is right or wrong. It's posters like yourself saying that one side is wrong eg not charging rent is emotionally harming your children which has made this thread go off track.

Both sides on this thread have behaved badly although it appears that the charging rent side has more support (I would guess due to the fact this is a money saving site and people on it tend to from a demographic without much spare cash).

It's more about your stage in life. We did not have a single £1 in spare cash until 1996 when DS, our younger child graduated.


We're fine now, but I was very concerned about how retirement finances would work out. I would certainly expect an adult of working age to contribute if living with retired parents.

£50 is not a great deal. Savings are secondary to paying one's way in life.

Detroit

JReacher1 wrote: »

I don't understand why you people are getting into an argument about these sides.

As I can see it some people want to charge their kids rent and some people don't. It's down to personal choice and nobody else's business

Neither charging you children rent or not charging your children rent is right or wrong. It's posters like yourself saying that one side is wrong eg not charging rent is emotionally harming your children which has made this thread go off track.

Both sides on this thread have behaved badly although it appears that the charging rent side has more support (I would guess due to the fact this is a money saving site and people on it tend to from a demographic without much spare cash).

Of course it's no one else's business. Nothing posted on the board ever is. However, the OP asked for opinions.

People frequently debate the more controversial issues, presumably because they enjoy expressing and hearing other perspectives.
I would not consider this to be 'behaving badly'. It would be very dull if we all agreed.

Personally, after my initial advice on the question the OP asked, I became involved in the discussion only after taking exception to some very discourteous and disparaging comments from another poster.

I believe the thread had moved away from the OPs question already at that point.

However, if we are going to adhere strictly to the parameters of the post, and not go off track, I would suggest that those who have argued it's wrong to charge rent have been less helpful pragmatically to the OP.

The OPs mother has asked for money. I can't see that expressing the view that this is unfair does any more than affirm the OP in her resentment of something she can do nothing about.

She already feels hard done to, what will be achieved by encouraging her in this when she presumably has to continue to live under those circumstances?

Unless one of the posters who doesn't charge is going to adopt her, I don't see how they have, strictly speaking, helped progresses her matter.

Conversely, those who have tried to encourage her to see her mother's perspective, if successful, may make the OP feel more content with her situation, and less likely to alienate her parents.
Athough not solving the issue, this may be better for the OP than her current resentment.

I would also disagree with your comment about the demographic of the site.
Arguably the more interested in saving money a person is, the better off they will be!

mickey54

pollypenny wrote: »

This thread is still making me laugh. We travel to the USA to help look after grandsons when DIL has to travel. It costs us around £800 each to fly plus car hire. We generally shop, as well as cook the dinner, without expecting to be reimbursed.

Still we can relax in their 5 bed roomed house and swim in their pool. DS managed it, in spite of paying his profiteering parents £50pw from his starting salary of £32k.

My family were the same ... All made good ... Despite me taking 35 per week.

As well as paying for your flights and car, I bet you also don't want to see them out of pocket, so you will buy some of the food too .. And take loads of gifts. Isn't that what parents / grandparehts do ...

Mojisola

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

My bf on the other hand currently does not pay board, he;s lived back at his parents since splitting with his ex about 2 years ago.

His mum point blank refuses to charge him board.

His dad on the other hand thinks he should pay board

silvercar wrote: »

Mum's view may be that her home is also her kid's home and doesn't want payment directly or in kind, for living there.

Isn't it Dad's home as well? His views are being ignored by his wife and his son.

missbiggles1

silvercar wrote: »

Pass the sickbucket!