How much rent should my parents charge me?

annandale

I'm not the OP as it happens. Was just sharing my views as I thought we were all entitled to do on the thread. It's fine to have an opinion that doesn't necessarily agree with the majority. Or it should be without people trying to out you as someone else. Don't think those comments were helpful on a thread where the OP hasn't been back. Haven't been back to the thread as I've been v busy with work and not online but I'll leave you to your guessing games.

Spooky

System

Personally if i;d eever moved hom after uni id have been expected to contribute, and i'd have had no problem with that (my issue was more the fact i;d have to live under my parents rules and probably still be treated ike a child hence why i never moved back ). My sister did get a year baord free when she moved back after uni, she used that year to save up to go travelling for 9 months. When she returned my parents were preparing to ask her for board but not long after she decided to move to London anyway.

My bf on the other hand currently does not pay board, he;s lived back at his parents since splitting with his ex about 2 years ago. His mum point blank refuses to charge him board. Before we met he spent a lot of time on the dole so thats partly why she never made him pay it. Sonce we;ve been together hes mostly been in work (bar a few months between temp jobs). Hes curreently managed to save a grand so far, and he does eventually want us to gte our own place (i have my own debts to pay off first) so any money he;s saving is going towards that I think thats why his mum doesn't mind, because she knows he will at some point move out. His dad on the other hand thinks he should pay board...but his mum won;t back down. I dont think its made him terrible with money, and he;s certainly not a bad person at all, its just the way it is.

Detroit

As the child of a parent who refuses to accept board money, your bf could maybe buy his parents a gift of roughly equivalent value to the amount he would have paid, such as a holiday, or white goods.

I think this is a good compromise for a child who doesn't want to live off their parents, yet the parents insist.

Gifts are much harder to refuse than money, and this should help make your bf and his father feel better about him not paying his way.

System

Detroit wrote: »

As the child of a parent who refuses to accept board money, your bf could maybe buy his parents a gift of roughly equivalent value to the amount he would have paid, such as a holiday, or white goods.

I think this is a good compromise for a child who doesn't want to live off their parents, yet the parents insist.

Gifts are much harder to refuse than money, and this should help make your bf and his father feel better about him not paying his way.

Good idea.

He does regularly take his mum out for days out to treat her (not so much his dad they dont really get along).

His mum won't accept money off me either even though i stay there a lot so i try and buy her treats when i can and food for when i go there.

JReacher1

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Good idea.

He does regularly take his mum out for days out to treat her (not so much his dad they dont really get along).

His mum won't accept money off me either even though i stay there a lot so i try and buy her treats when i can and food for when i go there.

Personally I think your BF should respect his mums wishes. If she is insistent that he doesn't pay any rent then it might not be well received if he buys her a gift at the same price as rent.

Also if in two years he's only saved £1k and doesn't pay rent it doesn't look like financially he can afford to pay much rent anyway.

Detroit

JReacher1 wrote: »

Personally I think your BF should respect his mums wishes. If she is insistent that he doesn't pay any rent then it might not be well received if he buys her a gift at the same price as rent.

Also if in two years he's only saved £1k and doesn't pay rent it doesn't look like financially he can afford to pay much rent anyway.

Seriously, would any mother be so churlish as to be upset by a gift from their son to show their appreciation?

silvercar

Detroit wrote: »

Seriously, would any mother be so churlish as to be upset by a gift from their son to show their appreciation?

Mum's view may be that her home is also her kid's home and doesn't want payment directly or in kind, for living there.

JReacher1

Detroit wrote: »

Seriously, would any mother be so churlish as to be upset by a gift from their son to show their appreciation?

If she is not asking for rent as she wants her son to save for a mortgage then it may upset her if the son then buys her lavish gifts.

I have an elderly mother who is on a pension and I earn a sizeable salary yet when i go out for lunch with her if I don't let her pay she starts to cry as she thinks she should be able to buy me lunch. It's frankly ridiculous but it makes her happy.

Detroit

silvercar wrote: »

Mum's view may be that her home is also her kid's home and doesn't want payment directly or in kind, for living there.

I suppose it's possible.

A shame if so though, as being able to give something back to their parents is very important to some adult children, and it would be a shame if the gesture was not graciously received by the parent.

silvercar