Stil in love but no physical attraction

Gloomendoom

firebird082 wrote: »

I just don't understand this - I have never been attracted to a partner by looks, but always by personality.

If you were male, like the OP, I suspect that you might be in the minority.

firebird082

Gloomendoom wrote: »

If you were male, like the OP, I suspect that you might be in the minority.

I've rather come to the conclusion that I'm in the minority whichever gender you look at! Makes me feel a bit sad for everyone else though. Life must be so much harder when someone else has to fit your ideals of 'good looking'.

Gloomendoom

firebird082 wrote: »

I've rather come to the conclusion that I'm in the minority whichever gender you look at! Makes me feel a bit sad for everyone else though. Life must be so much harder when someone else has to fit your ideals of 'good looking'.

On a positive note, it can certainly be a curb on excess.

Beer goggles don't help though.

maman

Detroit wrote: »

The OPs wife, in the eyes of some posters, is lazy, doesn't care about his feelings, has no self respect, has a drink problem, and has prompted mention of Waynetta slob!
Given how much he professes to love the woman, I'd have thought he'd have been back to defend her by now.

This frequently happens. Many posters test the waters, if general consensus is that they're wrong (in his case to think that his wife should lose weight) then they drift off.

maman

Advice; it rhymes with mice. Advise; it rhymes with wise.


Totally off topic but just noticed your signature gloomendoom.

Why would anyone confuse these two as they don't even sound the same? Practice/practice I can see that people may not understand the grammar so make an error but why advise/advice.


Surely no one would say: 'I advice you to see your GP' or 'Buying an umbrella was the best advise I was given for my trip to Manchester'. Do they? Really?

Lambyr

Maybe it's for people who use the wrong word in text?

I've seen people use advise when they mean advice, the same way some people use defiantly when they mean definitely.

Gloomendoom

maman wrote: »

Surely no one would say: 'I advice you to see your GP' or 'Buying an umbrella was the best advise I was given for my trip to Manchester'. Do they? Really?

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4861130
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4067091
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3413395
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3454507
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3107354
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2723917
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2624549
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2302113
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1925345
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1960043


ad infinitum

ecgirl07

firebird082 wrote: »

I just don't understand this - I have never been attracted to a partner by looks, but always by personality. My husband is not what I would ever have thought I would find physically attractive, but I choose to find him attractive because I love all of him, not just because he looks how he looked when I married him!

This sums up the complexity of attraction, on first physical description you would not have had thought him attractive, therefore against your "type" but you gave it a chance. This is not unusual people have initial reactions but can see beyond this to get to know someone. Most ltr must surely be based on compatible personalities not just looks.

Pollycat

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I must get another dictionary.

Yes.
Do.

selfish
ˈsɛlfɪʃ/
adjective
adjective: selfish
(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.

adjective 1.devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself:

Selfishness is being concerned, sometimes excessively or exclusively, for oneself or one's own advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others

You clearly missed this bit of my post:

Pollycat wrote: »

There's absolutely nothing wrong with doing something simply to please somebody else.
I do lots of things to please my husband.
Keeping myself trim and well dressed just isn't one of them.

If I decided not to keep myself fit and well groomed, I would be selfish and inconsiderate of my husband's feelings.

Georgiegirl256

Pollycat wrote: »

If I decided not to keep myself fit and well groomed, I would be selfish and inconsiderate of my husband's feelings.

Exactly!! That's what people are saying! :rotfl: