Primary School Says I am Totally Wrong About them Not Meeting My Son's Needs

groovy_chick

sootikins wrote: »

One of my colleagues actually phoned in and said that she'd be coming in later that morning instead of at her usual time because her children had refused to go to playschool.


I mean.. !!!!!!??! The rest of us either fell about laughing or were too gobsmacked to respond.


You don't have to live in an ivory tower to know that letting your young child dictate whether or not he/she goes to school is not "having imperfect children", it's being an idiot parent.

I'm guessing you don't have children sootikins?

[Deleted User]

Yes please understand I am appreciating all the comments, even if I don't agree with them, I thinking about them and deciding what I can take from them. I want to sort this out, but at the moment am feeling a bit disenchanted with the school. That may change if the test tomorrow shows he is within expected targets for his age! Then I'll have a bit of a red face, but I'd rather know if I am wrong.

If there are indications there are some shortfalls, I can't find any way to have an assessment of his school attainment so it looks like an education psychologist at £240 an hour, which is kindof out my budget.

Groovy_chick, thank you. Understand the happiness v attainment. I'd be so content with happiness but you see he gets so stressed, its affecting his self esteem because he feels there are things he finds difficult other people can do (ie everybody lol). Obviously I say over and over it doesn't matter. I love him. But I find his stress levels worry me. Most often its a tiny understanding problem that could be fixed in 30 seconds, if someone noticed but they don't. The School did set up a traffic light system which sounds brilliant but for some reason my son just won't use the red traffic light which even I've not been able to solve lol. I KNOW I sound like I'm creating a performance over nothing.

But I have also taken on board the suggestion re working memory.

Thank you so much EricsMum for the offer of help. So very very kind but I'd cringe to ask anyone to do that lol. I will find a way.

Sootikins.., granted physically getting a small child into nursery is not an issue, although I wouldn't be surprised if it added on a bit of extra time when having to force dress, redress, get all your stuff for work together and carrying child clinging to every available surface out of the house. Not a lot of fun, but do-able. Done it quite a few times. You can't carry a ten year old for half an hour unless you suggest rolling him in rope and dragging him in.., which I suspect social services wouldn't be too keen on. I do not allow PC or TV useage if he's off school, I do persuade him to go in as soon as I can. I hope intimating that parents who don't do this are idiots is making you feel better. At least that's some kind of positive. I can't find any other.

pigpen

My uncle (in the early 80's) took my cousin into school on a dog lead and collar one time and handed the lead to the teacher.. that didn't go down well either. you just can't win!!! My cousin and his classmates thought it was hilarious.. he is nearly 40 and still laughs about it... he's still a little turd too

peachyprice

Could you possibly afford a few sessions with a private tutor? You should be able to find one with KS2 as an area of expertise, they will know what is expected at his stage and will be able to highlight any areas he's lacking in.

The school may not accept their opinion but at least you will know whether it's the school letting your son down or your son taking being less than straight with you. You would at least have a basis to fight from if he is under-achieving.

[Deleted User]

Sorry somehow I was getting a bit stressed and passed over SteeleeUK's comment. Thank you, you are spot on. I do feel like that.

I've emailed NAS's education help with a full explanation. Getting through on the phone takes days!

peachyprice

sootikins wrote: »

The thing is, good parents are leaders. They don't beat the child with a stick, but their personal skills are such that by and large they earn respect from the child. Same with teachers.

You are letting the child get the better of you. But you're not alone, by the sounds of things.

So, do you have any children? Particularly any with ASD?

groovy_chick

OP, you are not creating a performance over nothing! I have every sympathy with what you are dealing with. We wish we could be there, sitting next to them and raising the red traffic light, but we can't and it's so frustrating.

I recently had a situation where my son wouldn't complete his work. He would produce half a page of writing from an hour long lesson and everyone was frustrated. When I met with his teachers , we suggested letting him use the computer, as this was his weapon of choice at home! Now, he types brilliant long stories and is proud of them. Your school need to look for ways that they can get the best out of him.

Not everyone learns in the same way. In adult training courses we acknowledge this, however for some reason we fail to diversify with children.

Gc x

groovy_chick

sootikins wrote: »

Re-read the first post.

The school don't see any major problem with the child, he's doing pretty much as well as the other kids in the class. It's the mum who has stormed out of a meeting, refusing to co-operate with them.

Anyway, I hope (naively..) that things will improve, for all their sakes. Dad bit of a no-hoper, living on a boat, mum not quite able to cope/communicate for whatever reason, and child with ASD tendencies.

Far from unique situation these days, unfortunately. Would love to know what's causing all this "autism" now. It was pretty much unheard of in decades past.

Sootikins, did you join MSE today just to argue with people?

Grumpysally

OP, I hope you find the help and support your family needs. You sound to be under a great deal of stress right now.
Please don't feel the need to justify yourself to someone who appears to be here just to ****stir and put you down.
All you are doing is feeding the troll.

Person_one

peachyprice wrote: »

So, do you have any children? Particularly any with ASD?

Its clearly the troll, the one that's been back repeatedly, new username every few posts.

He's posting for a reaction and he's getting one.

Not having children does not compel somebody to be deliberately insensitive/insulting!