Primary School Says I am Totally Wrong About them Not Meeting My Son's Needs

Faith177

deannatrois wrote: »

Fair enough. Not going to happen sorry, too too stressful. Call me feeble but facing four authoritative people is not something I am good at.

And to be honest, what is the point?

But I guess there's no point to anything.

Your son and getting the help he needs is the point!

As others have said see if the social worker will come to the meetings to help you and go in prepared with notes on points you wish to raise

[Deleted User]

I am looking online and must be using the wrong search terms, I can't find any testing services.

The social worker is totally behind the school. She's the one who sent the email saying the school said his results were totally on par with his year and that he could go and stay with his father if I needed a break. Totally startled by all that. But it is as it is.

I don't think I can engage with the school anymore. This has been going on since year 1. My son is totally refusing to go back to the school and I have said he has to. I am trying to apply for another school for my son but of course, am going there as the mad mum with something like munchaussens lol. So not easy.

Ok many thanks for your help. I appreciate it.

ecgirl07

Attendance is a huge factor in children and attainment, if he is not there he is missing key teaching and will feel like he is playing catch up especially in maths.

If he is not in school you need to cover what he is missing, the advantage of this you can do it in a fun one to one way at home. Have a look at an app called sumdog it will help with maths at home.

Try and ensure he is not picking up your concerns about his attainment as that will cloud his self confidence.

swingaloo

Please dont be annoyed at this but is there a possibility that your son is picking up on your stress and playing you up. I am not dismissing what you are saying at all but I can see parallels with my sister who went through a similar thing with one of her children.

If you say you son cant do certain things when you work with him but the school say he is achieving an acceptable level then there must be something going on.

Can you ask to look at some of the work he does on school and check it for yourself. It could be that he just does not like school and is playing you up saying he cant do things when in fact he can when in the school environment.

My sister was a single parent when her husband left her and went abroad and married another woman and she was frequently at the end of her tether and the kids reacted to this. One child went to school easily, the other had to be dragged in. As they have got older the one the went to school easily has told her mum that they both used to be worried about leaving her when they went to school because she was 'always sad and worried'.

Is it possible any of this is going on.

Mojisola

These people offer private tests - http://www.medic8.com/mental-health/autism/private-assessment.html - (don't know the company so not a recommendation).

Even they say "But there have been situations where a private diagnosis has not been accepted by a local authority which can cause problems for you. So, you need to consider this before making a decision about whether to undergo a private assessment or not. "

Also: http://www.autism.org.uk/About/Diagnosis/Adults/process

Are you in contact with any of the relevant charities? They may be able to help with support - even if it's just putting you in contact with other parents so you can share experiences.

bouicca21

I suspect the first thig you need to do is work out whether your idea of expected attainment at age 10 and the school's actually match. It's a long time since I was 10 but I seem to remember that long division was only introduced at that age. I find lots of kids nowadays can't tell the time because they are so used to digital displays.

Get hold of the key stage requirements, then you have the evidence about what he should and should not be capable of doing.

[Deleted User]

Thanks Majisola, but I'm looking for attainment tests (to see where he is educationally), not ASD tests. He's already been diagnosed and happy with that.

I am trying to contact some organisations, spoken to Parentline/Young Mind and they've give me some numbers to try. All busy but keep trying them.

Thanks swingaloo, this is an option I haven't dismissed. I'm pretty sure the school think I am some kind of manipulative monster that's causing all this. But I really do watch for inconsistencies and other things that might point to this kind of behaviour.

But it could also be that I am right. I've been there in meetings (more than one) where I talk about his maths and my concerns, they then start talking about his literacy (in which he does very well) and then apply that globally.., saying he's improving and doing well globally, totally ignoring the maths element of school work.

Mojisola

deannatrois wrote: »

Thanks Majisola, but I'm looking for attainment tests (to see where he is educationally), not ASD tests. He's already been diagnosed and happy with that.

I am trying to contact some organisations, spoken to Parentline/Young Mind and they've give me some numbers to try. All busy but keep trying them.

One of our sons had a very comprehensive private assessment for dyslexia. The results were very helpful - nothing we had from the school showed his strengths and weaknesses in anything like the same detail.

I hope you can find someone to provide similar testing for maths as well as language.

SevenOfNine

Though I'm a fine one to comment given my automatic bit at the end of each of my posts, but having read yours I'm wondering if your expectations of a 10 year old with ASD may be a tad high?

I wonder if there are any support groups for parents of ASD children locally, you may be able to call on someone there to go to the meetings with you, I agree it can be extremely daunting to be faced with 4 professionals by yourself, really no-one you can ask?

Good luck with the independent testing, hope it puts your mind at rest.

[Deleted User]

Really no one, I know that's hard to believe. I have two with ASD, I don't go out, I'm not good at talking anyway.

He's very intelligent, he's got ASD but that's nothing to do with intellect. He should be able to do multiplication, tell the time and I'm afraid the school have been doing long division (simple stuff) since early last year lol. Honestly. He doesn't have a clue with moving decimal points, which was done years ago. I do keep teaching it to him again but he forgets (problems with maths memory I suspect, been pointing this out to the school for years). Its like my older son has a problem with remembering learned actions. He's 20, still has problems tying shoe laces, been taught loads of times but he forgets. He also had problems remembering things I know I've taught him, and has been taught in class.