Awkward Situation with the In-Laws

Ms_Chocaholic

My husband was the same with his mother; despite living on her own she spent money like water, bought furniture on credit (a dining set to seat 8 when she lived on her own and no-one visited) and expected OH to pay it off. OH felt guilty as he was adopted as a baby and felt he "owed" it to her as she had brought him up.

My OH took some persuading not to pay his mother's bills but eventually came to realise that he should have stopped paying years before.

Primrose

z1a wrote: »

I wouldn't even have the patience of any of the posters on here after what You've endured up to now.
The next problem they approached me with would be met with the reply
"Tough, not my problem, bye."

Yes, tempting in theory but family relationships go very deep and can cause a great deal of guilt for years afterwards so essential for one's peace of mind, I think, to know that you have dealt with them in as reasonable and straightforward a way as possible. You can't always influence the way other people behave, but if you're a family orientated person you do have to be able to live with your conscience afterwards. Yes, play a hard line but at least give the other party one last chance to sort the situation out where things are out in the open and everybody knows what the rules of engagement are.

Andypandyboy

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

My husband was the same with his mother; despite living on her own she spent money like water, bought furniture on credit (a dining set to seat 8 when she lived on her own and no-one visited) and expected OH to pay it off. OH felt guilty as he was adopted as a baby and felt he "owed" it to her as she had brought him up.

My OH took some persuading not to pay his mother's bills but eventually came to realise that he should have stopped paying years before.

That, in it itself is a sad endictment of family.

Bassetlaw_Badger

MSE friends you're a great help - you've assured me I'm not being daft. Thank you all.


OH has taken a day off work today and is currently attempting to mend said boiler.............

Ms_Chocaholic

Andypandyboy wrote: »

That, in it itself is a sad endictment of family.

Just wanted to add that we visited but that only made 3 (me, OH and his mum).

Slinky

Bassetlaw_Badger wrote: »

MSE friends you're a great help - you've assured me I'm not being daft. Thank you all.


OH has taken a day off work today and is currently attempting to mend said boiler.............

So your OH has lost a day's pay.

Is he even qualified to repair boilers?

borkid

Slinky wrote: »

So your OH has lost a day's pay.

Is he even qualified to repair boilers?

Not necessarily if he is on flexitime or has holiday to use up. I agree though that time should be equated with money even if only mentally by the Badger and her OH.

Thomas_The_Tank_Top

Is this a Gas Boiler? If so, unless your husband is a qualified tech with a certificate to prove he can work on them, he shouldn't be touching it.

It's going to cost a bit more than £85 if that's the case.

Pollycat

Bassetlaw_Badger wrote: »

MSE friends you're a great help - you've assured me I'm not being daft. Thank you all.

But this seems to indicate - at least to me - that your OH is still dancing to his parents' tune:

Bassetlaw_Badger wrote: »

OH has taken a day off work today and is currently attempting to mend said boiler.............

Jagraf

Bassetlaw_Badger wrote: »

MSE friends you're a great help - you've assured me I'm not being daft. Thank you all.


OH has taken a day off work today and is currently attempting to mend said boiler.............

I think you both need to put your foot down or carry on the way you are. You're grown up too and able to make the right decision for yourselves.