Dad not around- does that change after birth sometimes??

Lioness_Twinkletoes

[QUOTE=kimplus8;70818094he_will_miss_out_on_this_beautiful_little_boy_but_I_agree_with_what_others_have_said,_maybe_he_just_won't_be_bothered._That's_his_loss_not_mine.[/QUOTE]

Also the significant loss of the child.

Re the whole 'pro life' viewpoint, I've been reading about Greece's financial problems; interesting that the birth rate has fallen by a third in seven years of austerity.

As soon as state support is no longer available people suddenly either abandon their 'pro-life' views or are a lot more careful when it comes to conception.

tamimurphy

Don't get you hopes high! Not every man is that sensible and mature to realize his mistake.

milasavesmoney

Lioness_Twinkletoes wrote: »

Also the significant loss of the child.

Re the whole 'pro life' viewpoint, I've been reading about Greece's financial problems; interesting that the birth rate has fallen by a third in seven years of austerity.

As soon as state support is no longer available people suddenly either abandon their 'pro-life' views or are a lot more careful when it comes to conception.

There was no need to say this at all. You have posed your comment as an observation with support by some statistics, when actually it's just a guise to be hateful to an individual who is reaching out to a usually supportive community. No need at all! :mad:

FBaby

Don't get you hopes high! Not every man is that sensible and mature to realize his mistake.

This is a very judgmental and one sided statement. I'm sure he thinks that he was the one being sensible suggesting an abortion considering the situation, that he wasn't going to get back with OP, and that OP was going to be left with 8 children to raise.

People get pregnant without intending to every day and many decide to go for an abortion, does this make them all immature and not sensible?

kimplus8

FBaby wrote: »

Surely if he felt so distressed that he was threatening to kill himself, it is an indication how from his perspective, having that child wasn't an option for him.

I am not trying to be unkind, I understand that from your perspective, emotionally, you don't think you had that choice and you want people, especially him to respect that. That is absolutely fine, but you don't seem prepared to give that respect back. He doesn't want that child (or at least doesn't think he does now), and that feeling of wishing you were not pregnant can be as strong as you feeling that you couldn't have an abortion.
.

I don't believe he was distressed at all, he just wanted to have his cake and eat it! He also asked me to get rid of this baby and try for another in 6 months when things had 'blown over' with his ex. All during this time I had no idea he was planning to be with her and not me, I know you are not trying to be unkind, I totally hear what you are saying and its good to hear how people think he may have been feeling too.
Retrospectively I can see that he was just a player, he wanted me as a 'sidekick' incase his relationship with her didn't work out.
We talked a lot about beliefs etc and he knew that I would keep a baby if I became pregnant, one time a condom came off and we went and bought the MAP from boots, I was really upset and said at the time that it better work because I wouldn't be able to have a termination if I got pregnant, this sparked a huge discussion which is when I booked in to be sterilised and had the coil fitted while I waited for surgery.
It was unfortunate for me that contraception failed me, especially as I had been married for 11 years not using anything at all. The irony that I started using contraception and then became pregnant to me is a sign that this child was simply supposed to be.
I felt at the time when I first found out that god was punishing me to disobeying him and using it, and for being with him when we weren't married, I don't expect people to understand that,...... Its just how guilty I felt I guess.
I love him,,, I really love him, but he isn't real, he is someone else, that is with her and I am grieving for the person I thought he was, not who he actually is.
But, ill get over it eventually and I am slowly moving on.

kimplus8

dandy-candy wrote: »

Kim can I ask what your relationship with your stb ex is like? Are you still friendly and go out as a family?
I certainly wouldn't count on this other guy getting involved in baby 8 life, but would you stb ex be of any support (I don't mean financially)?
Btw the real dad might be looking happy and like he's getting on with life, but I expect it's all front. I think he has behaved appallingly to both you and his gf.

Its not great, he hasn't seen the kids for a bit because I applied for child support. He sometimes is great and sees them loads and other times he will 'forget' or 'be too busy' to see them.
Its difficult as he can be a really great guy when wants too and other times he is so absent. I don't think he purposely tries to avoid being a dad its just that the kids become irrelevant when hes in Batchelor mode!

kimplus8

avogadro wrote: »

As somebody once put it, you can never really tell if the threads started on here are true or the product of a fertile imagination. Trolls as a general rule do not like to have their stories picked apart, or the inconsistencies pointed out

I very rarely post on here, and it's got to the stage now where I don't intend to again to be honest. It's fun I suppose for those who want to engage in other people's dramas, real or imagined, under anonymity, but I don't think it's a good use of your time!

Are you suggesting that I am a troll??
If not then I'm not sure what your response is even for and if you are then why bother if I'm not a 'good use of your time'.
Why would a troll bother with a SOA, ongoing DFD etc, I'm confused by this post tbh :doh: