Dad not around- does that change after birth sometimes??

System

I hate to day it but this guy sounds like a nasty piece of work. Threatening to kill himself if you didn;t get a termination? Thats not right. And his other behavior to you and his (ex maybe not ex) partner also sounds terrible. Some men can change once a baby is born, but i honestly would not hedge your bets on this guy doing so. For now i'd try to distance yourself and focus on looking after yourself,baby and your other children. As far as child support goes, he probably will try and deny hes the father but a DNA test will sort that, and if he is then he has no choice but to pay it. If that causes issues with his ex then tough, thats isn't your problem its his.

yvonne13_2

How long is it before your baby is due?

kimplus8

yvonne13 wrote: »

A couple of questions here.You stated that you met him online yet your children play football and attend the same school. So I take it you did know him or even saw him at the football matches. to me this indicates that you knew he was still with his girl and you blinded your eyes to it.

As for them denying the baby couldn't be his, let them try as DNA cannot be faked and if I was you I would get ever penny that was due for your child. Too many people think it's okay to creep around whilst supposedly in a committed relationship and don't want to take responsibilities by doing the right thing.

You were completly in the wrong for hooking up with him as I belive you knew from the beginning where you stood. And he is totally wrong by not maning up to his mistakes.

You're having a baby now so just deal with it and stay strong. Leave him and his family alone just focus on doing what's right for your baby. Get the proof that he's the father and make him pay for his child.

However, I find it strange that he's blaming you for getting pregnant as I'm sure him not using protection has something to do with it too.

My boy started playing football with his boy after we had met, in-fact he recommended the footy club to me. We had recently moved to this area so I didn't really know many people and it was coincidence that we each have a child that applied to the same secondary school and therefor have seen each other in passing at school induction events etc. I had no idea that he had a partner as she has never been to football and I have never seen her at the school, I recently saw them together in the supermarket- it was first time I had ever seen her and her me.
How could I have possibly known, I only found out about the partner when it was too late and retrospectively discovered that we have a mural friend that I work with. I spoke about him often at work to a few of my friends there, but as he used an alias surname she never made the connection until after and even she was shocked and she knew both of us!
We didn't hide or meet in secret, we dated like normal people and I knew a few of his friends so either they too believed him to be single when I met him or they knew about her and played along. I truly believed he was a single co- parenting dad, as that's what drew me to meet up with him in the first place. I believe we had connected over having children young and being separated and trying to work it out, tbh he didn't exactly paint a fantastic picture of her so why would I have any reason to believe he was with her. I saw no evidence of her in his life at all, whenever I saw him he was on his own and she has never ( besides the supermarket) been with him in passing the whole time I've known him which is over a year.
I actually find your reply to be quite upsetting, there was no need to suggest that I knowingly was the OW and it was really harsh of you.

Savvy_Sue

Please be aware that even female sterilisation is not 100% effective, especially if carried out immediately after birth. I know some women ask to have their tubes tied if they're having a caesarian section, but it's apparently better to wait until your innards have settled down again to some semblance of normality.

kimplus8

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Please be aware that even female sterilisation is not 100% effective, especially if carried out immediately after birth. I know some women ask to have their tubes tied if they're having a caesarian section, but it's apparently better to wait until your innards have settled down again to some semblance of normality.

They said I will have to be referred at my 6 week post natal check up but that's fine as sex will be the last thing on my mind as a single mother of 8 with a newborn breastfeeding round the clock:D

yvonne13_2

kimplus8 wrote: »

. We had recently moved to this area so I didn't really know many people and it was coincidence that we each have a child that applied to the same secondary school and therefor have seen each other in passing at school induction events etc.

And what a big coincidence that you met him via a dating website and a bigger surprise that you dated him for over 5 months and never even knew his real full name ........If you think I'm being harsh that's your business. You posted and I answered simple as.

thorsoak

Whatever the whys wherefores etc, the situation is that you are pregnant with your 8th child and will be bringing this child up on your own, without the support of the father. It's going to be hard, but you're obviously an experienced mum - so good luck.

Don't expect any input/support from the sperm donor - just ensure that he pays maintenance!

pigpen

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Please be aware that even female sterilisation is not 100% effective, especially if carried out immediately after birth. I know some women ask to have their tubes tied if they're having a caesarian section, but it's apparently better to wait until your innards have settled down again to some semblance of normality.

0.5% failure rate or 1 : 200

They said I will have to be referred at my 6 week post natal check up but that's fine as sex will be the last thing on my mind as a single mother of 8 with a newborn breastfeeding round the clock:D

I have 13 months between my 9th and 10th.. get the referral done either before you leave postnatally or before.. it won't be done next day.. 6 months wait here... copulation may be awkward without a man on the scene though

FBaby

It's a very sad situation all around, but ultimately, you agreed to keep the baby. Even when he was saying that he wanted to make a go of it, it was a big decision to make considering the number of children you already had between the two of you and the fact that you'd only dated for only a few months.

Ultimately, no-one could force your to have an abortion, but you do have to accept that you had that option from the moment you found out you were pregnant and decided not to go with it. You made your decision because it suited you, and he has made his because it suited him. He can't be angry with you more than you can be angry with him.

jaydeeuk1

Poor kid