Victim blaming mentality

Peter333

FBaby wrote: »

Just to add, it is often those who are most blunt and appearing cold who will still be there to help you when most in need, something my OH and I have experienced with our friends/family members.

Pollycat wrote: »

When a very good friend of mine's husband !!!!!!ed off with someone else, I did the 'there, thete' bit & immediately afterwards got busy with researching her rights, benefits etc.

Other friends told her all sorts of incorrect stuff.

Who did she listen to?
Not me, because I was telling her what she didn't want to hear.
2 years down the line, after trying to hang onto the house (and paying the full mortgage herself) she accepted that she'd have to put it on the market.

Now settled, who does she wish she'd listened to?
Yep, that'll be me.

There was no way I could have sugar-coated the truth to make her understand her best option.

Most people posting of their troubles are more likely to take the advice of somebody who does the 'there, there's routine - even if the advice is wrong.

None of these examples are anything to do with what they OP is talking about though.

People giving advice 'people don't want to hear' in real life, (for their own good,) is not the same as keyboard warriors slating posters who are asking for advice, by mocking them and belittling them and coming out with that pathetic 'first world problems' chestnut.

This happens on here daily. You can all deny it til the cows come home, but it does.

A lot of people agree with the OP too; over 30 people have thanked the post. That proves she is not the only one who thinks what she thinks about the behaviour of some posters on this board.

pendragon_arther wrote: »

Actually the following is a fact:

* We are told roughly around 200 lies per day.

* On average, we lie 3 times per every 10 min of conversation, 60% have a hard time without lying at least once. Most lies are harmless white lies like "Nice haircut" or "Yeah, all is good!".

* I estimate the number of lies we tell per day is around 25, which includes both white lies and more serious lies.

Yes it's true that everyone lies. Every day.

I think the 'people lie 200 times a day,' claim may be an exaggeration, but most people will tell at least one lie a day.

FBaby

None of these examples are anything to do with what they OP is talking about though.

That's fair enough, but people who do give advice that 'people don't want to hear', without ridiculing or insulting still get told they will be reported.

Peter333

FBaby wrote: »

That's fair enough, but people who do give advice that 'people don't want to hear', without ridiculing or insulting still get told they will be reported.

I have never seen that happen.

Can you provide some links to where this has happened?

FBaby

Peter333 wrote: »

I have never seen that happen.

Can you provide some links to where this has happened?

You're joking surely

Peter333

FBaby wrote: »

You're joking surely

No. Why would you think that?

You say there have been posts where people give advice that is not all fluffy and warm and get told they're being reported.

I just requested that you point them out, because I have never seen such posts.

G3.

FBaby wrote: »

That's fair enough, but people who do give advice that 'people don't want to hear', without ridiculing or insulting still get told they will be reported.

Makes you wonder how these report-button pushers manage to get through life.

Guest101

Peter333 wrote: »

No. Why would you think that?

You say there have been posts where people give advice that is not all fluffy and warm and get told they're being reported.

I just requested that you point them out, because I have never seen such posts.

Certainly I've seen plenty where the respondent gets a right going over.

FBaby

No. Why would you think that?

Because you appreciate that I am not going to read through 100s of threads to find where this was happened and that you trust that my memory is not totally unreliable! You don't have to believe me though!

FBaby

I had a go at Guest quite a few times but he can take it (and reciprocally!)

Peter333

I'm not saying you're lying or anything fbaby. Sorry if it sounds that way. I just genuinely have never seen someone being threatened with being reported purely for giving advice/stating facts. I have seen it occasionally where someone is being nasty and rude to the OP, but not when they are just giving facts.