Victim blaming mentality

suki1964

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Yep - that sort of thing.:(

I'm on a yellow card ATM

I've never been rude to anyone ( other the once on the splitting the bill thread and that post was deleted, still never got a warning )

However there is a number of AE's belonging to the same person, who starts contentious threads, then shouts bullying and stomps off after reporting everyone on their ex amounts of ae's


11 years I've been here on this I'd, another year on another one I lost the login details and now I'm on a yellow card

I've been advised by the powers above to from now on report, report, report

So do I report and stop free speech so I don't get drawn in, do I report so many times that I then become a drain on rescources that it's easier to ban me?

Or do I stop replying to threads that I feel I can contribute to?


Well I can say that today I replied to perhaps 6 threads, only posted to three pretty juvenile ones for fear of repucusions

If that's what's happening to me, who else is it happening to and how long before these boards are dead as a dodo?



If I get to stay after these remarks, I shall no longer be adding my thanks to anyone's posts unless it is a direct answer to mine


I'm not a member of any clique, I don't have friends on here. I have always posted thanks to those posts that mirror my own thoughts or views. If that makes me a bully or a member of a so called clique I want out


This may be passive aggressive to some,but I wish those that scream bully, clique, whatever would look at their own posting history and take note themselves

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

The real cliques and bullies on MSE are the ones you don't see, not the similarly minded people who agree on certain threads. You only become aware of them when you become their victim - virtually nobody else would know what is happening.

ETA

Completely separate to this thread, it wouldn't surprise me to find that these cliques are made up of people who complain that others are bullying them.

Can one of the people who claims that there are cliques and gangs on her please actually name some of the posters they think are in them?

missbiggles1

Person_one wrote: »

Can one of the people who claims that there are cliques and gangs on her please actually name some of the posters they think are in them?

I could've named someone in the past but she seems to have moved on.

Otherwise, it'd be a brave person who'd choose to do this, given the likely repercussions.:(

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I could've named someone in the past but she seems to have moved on.

Otherwise, it'd be a brave person who'd choose to do this, given the likely repercussions.:(

What are the repercussions though? Getting PPR'd?

It just seems like a lot of people are happy to talk obliquely about cliques and gangs and campaigns but nobody ever actually puts their cards on the table.

missbiggles1

Person_one wrote: »

What are the repercussions though? Getting PPR'd?

It just seems like a lot of people are happy to talk obliquely about cliques and gangs and campaigns but nobody ever actually puts their cards on the table.

You obviously missed my comment "The real cliques and bullies on MSE are the ones you don't see."

balletshoes

suki1964 I can't believe you're on a yellow card, and to me this reinforces a statement made earlier by fbaby I think - posts and posters being seen as "bullying", "nasty", "rude" or "ganging up" must be a subjective thing.

coolcait

There's always the risk that this type of thread will have the "Don't you think she looks tired?" effect (Dr Who reference ).

My view is that threads like this can be disruptive - whether that's the original intention or not - and that they tend to stifle communication far more effectively than the most robust of debates.

Whether that's the intention or not.

To my mind, the most effective way to react to anything which you think is rude, harsh, unhelpful, or anything else, is to simply say so - "I thought that was rude"; "that seems a bit harsh" ;"I didn't find that helpful"; "I don't think that came across very well".

A simple statement of fact about how you perceived it. The same approach also works in real life.

Adding comments like "You always...", "some people", "no one who was a [positive trait] person would say that" or anything else along those lines could appear inflammatory.

Whether that's the intention or not. Again, this also holds true in real life.

Robisere

This Thread is now akin to a Primary school playground at lunchtime, after a particularly bad lunch.

suki1964

I don't take on life seriously. However I do enjoy these forums for the most part

I have learned so much, and I like to think I have helped others on my travels here

I no doubt I will be getting pprd after the holidays because I won't stop sticking my head above the parapet

Will I come back with an Ae? I don't think so

The one thing everyone has gotten right when it comes to the he saids, she saids, is that this forum is no longer the place it used to be

I'm not a dinasour, I know everything evolves, forums included. Yet for me these past 2 years it's been one AE after the other, ha I got previously been pprd coming back and stirring the pot

Like I say I'm now being censored in as much as I'm wary as to what thread I would like to take part in, and how quick is someone going to hit that report button because (text removed by MSE Forum Team) to discuss openly like adults

missbiggles1

coolcait wrote: »

There's always the risk that this type of thread will have the "Don't you think she looks tired?" effect (Dr Who reference ).

My view is that threads like this can be disruptive - whether that's the original intention or not - and that they tend to stifle communication far more effectively than the most robust of debates.

Whether that's the intention or not.

To my mind, the most effective way to react to anything which you think is rude, harsh, unhelpful, or anything else, is to simply say so - "I thought that was rude"; "that seems a bit harsh" ;"I didn't find that helpful"; "I don't think that came across very well".

A simple statement of fact about how you perceived it. The same approach also works in real life.

Adding comments like "You always...", "some people", "no one who was a [positive trait] person would say that" or anything else along those lines could appear inflammatory.

Whether that's the intention or not. Again, this also holds true in real life.

I think you must've been on the same assertiveness course that I did.:)