Victim blaming mentality

cbrown372

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I think that thread will stick in everyone's head for a very long time lol! :rotfl:

Anyone for lunch, split the bill :beer:

Andypandyboy

Omg it is all coming back to me in flashbacks.

I was out with colleagues earlier ths week, in a restaurant I go to a lot. The bill came and it was snatched up by one of the team who went through it with a fine tooth comb.....X your share is ....., Y your share is ......who had the still water? it is 55p cheaper than sparkling, who had....and so it went on, calculator in hand.

We all put down what we were told, and Lo it was 67p short, so she began it again. Everybody was squirming and all of us simply put money down to cover that and more. She wouldn't let it go as she "couldn't have added it up wrong".

I could not get out of there fast enough. Never again.

duchy

Guest101 wrote: »

The equivalent of saying 'so there' followed by an indefinite length 'lalalala' and putting fingers in your ears.


You may have personal experience of people not agreeing with you, but to suggest that somehow people on this forum have formed a gang with the purpose of intimidating specific posters is just madness. Instead just accept that not everyone will agree with you, just like they wont with me and enjoy a healthy debate.

Isn't that the very definition of the victim mentality ?

"You are disagreeing with me just to be mean to me " whereas in most cases people are disagreeing with the opinion stated and it doesn't matter who it is stating that particular opinion.

pickledonionspaceraider

Peter333 wrote: »

Like I'm not the only one who has noticed people being rude and cruel, and this being labelled as 'bluntness' and 'being honest.'

Just because you deny it, because you apparently don't ever see it; that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Too many people have pointed it out now. Moreover, I have seen it happen again and again.

I do wholeheartedly agree with the above.

People being rude for the sake of it, and labelling it as something else (being honest, or blunt) and then if challenged, the next obvious move is accuse the OP of being ''too soft' - to transfer any wrong doing - but the OP goes away feeling doubly wrong - but anyone with insight can see that certain posters must have awfully unfulfilling lives to post the carp that they do in response to peoples threads

A lot of posters are 'to the point' but certain posters are passive aggressive sarcasm supporters, which is not to be confused with being 'blunt'

It happens all the time

eta - Also the 'let me put words in your mouth and twist them around' camp. That happens too much. Someone can say ''the sky is blue'' and you would get someone else coming along with something as ludicrous as ''so you are racist them as you obviously think blue is the superior colour''....so many times it is laughable

And yes, often it is the same people again and again.

System

Peter333 wrote: »

If people are thanking a helpful and useful post, then that's great, and that's fine; but when someone has a real go at someone and puts them down or ridicules them, and people come along and thank them, then that's mean and cruel and is tantamount to bullying and ganging up. And it does happen - PLEASE stop denying it!!!

I have mentioned this before but it would be interesting to see what would happen if they were to get rid of the thanks button on here. I suspect it would get rid of 80% of the playground tactics and people getting an ego boost from knowing that, for example, 20 other forum users agree with and applaud their (often repugnant) views.


I am unaware of any cliques per se, but there does appear to be something rather odd going on behind the scenes at the moment regarding systematic reporting of people's posts.


Internet chatrooms attract people who for whatever reason choose to engage with strangers under anonymity. Furthermore, trolls on the internet are now spilling out into real life. Not so much life imitating art but life imitating online norms and values. Some interesting reading here:

https://www.theguardian.com/science/head-quarters/2014/feb/25/internet-trolls-are-also-real-life-trolls

..for trolls, the anonymity of the internet is the perfect playground.

missbiggles1

The real cliques and bullies on MSE are the ones you don't see, not the similarly minded people who agree on certain threads. You only become aware of them when you become their victim - virtually nobody else would know what is happening.

ETA

Completely separate to this thread, it wouldn't surprise me to find that these cliques are made up of people who complain that others are bullying them.

System

missbiggles1 wrote: »

The real cliques and bullies on MSE are the ones you don't see, not the similarly minded people who agree on certain threads. You only become aware of them when you become their victim - virtually nobody else would know what is happening.

Is this to do with the systematic reporting of someone's posts? I was quite surprised to see a long term regular forum user banned recently, though I suspect that was the work of a troll with multiple identities on here, one of which I ousted not long ago.

missbiggles1

avogadro wrote: »

Is this to do with the systematic reporting of someone's posts? I was quite surprised to see a long term regular forum user banned recently, though I suspect that was the work of a troll with multiple identities on here, one of which I ousted not long ago.

Yep - that sort of thing.:(

FBaby

I am at a loss to fathom why you, or anyone else is denying this goes on

Because whether it goes on or not is a matter of subjectivity not a fact, yet you seem to want think that if you feel in a certain way, so should every one.

I might have strong opinions and view points, but I feel that I am much more tolerant than many people here who might not be so strong minded because I totally accept that people might not conceive things the way I do and that's fine. I actually get more personal satisfaction trying to understand how someone can perceive a situation totally differently to me, rather than trying to put all my energy in trying to convince them that they are wrong because their perception is not like mine.

Pollycat

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

eta - Also the 'let me put words in your mouth and twist them around' camp. That happens too much. Someone can say ''the sky is blue'' and you would get someone else coming along with something as ludicrous as ''so you are racist them as you obviously think blue is the superior colour''....so many times it is laughable

And yes, often it is the same people again and again.

This is the most bizarre example I've read.

avogadro wrote: »

Is this to do with the systematic reporting of someone's posts? I was quite surprised to see a long term regular forum user banned recently, though I suspect that was the work of a troll with multiple identities on here, one of which I ousted not long ago.

I agree. We may be thinking about the same member.
I hope that it's a temporary PPR.