Guest staying free - house rules?

TeamPlum

peachyprice wrote: »

Because I refused to give my guest a key that would enable them to lock the doors properly.'

Think also what would happen if this clumsy guest started a fire, and was locked in without a key.

JReacher1

I think its pretty obvious that the OP shouldn't have offered to house this person.

They were trying to do a nice thing but as she gets closer to the date is more and more worried about what is going to happen and has imagined all these slightly over the top scenarios of what could go wrong!

Malthusian

Some of the posters in this thread appear to believe that if someone offers you an inch you're entitled to take a mile.

If I was staying for a week in a different continent for a conference, and someone offered me a spare room for the week, so I could go home in the evening from the conference, cook in their kitchen, and read / use my laptop until bedtime, all for free, that strikes me as an incredibly generous arrangement, for which I would be exceedingly grateful.

If her hours cause a minor inconvenience to me - say my conference ends earlier than her job - then I can always go to a cafe or a library in the evening and kill time. She is after all giving me a room for free.

If that's not good enough for me and I need a key to my lodgings so I can go out and come in at all hours, then I can pay for a hotel.

Think also what would happen if this clumsy guest started a fire, and was locked in without a key.

Open a window and climb out?

peachyprice

And some poster seem to think it's OK to leave a 17yo girl with no daytime access to her temporary home. Hey ho.

No way would I allow my daughter to travel half way across the world to stay with a person with so little trust and respect as the OP, but it seems others on this thread would be perfectly happy for their daughters to be treated like a that.

dragonsoup

I'm left wondering why the OP made the offer. I have flown half way round the world and stayed with strangers. I was collected from the airport and dropped me off with the couple I was staying with (and with whom I'd only had contact with over the internet)

I was made very welcome ( yes given a key although I never needed to use it) and I would be devastated to be greeted with such a lack of trust.

Most people are basically good - I think it is something we tend to forget nowadays and we as a society are the poorer for it

foxtrotoscar_2

Much a do about nothing really. I'd suggest a crowd fund thing so the visitor is properly welcome.


I would never agree to welcome a visitor into my home and then impose restrictions retrospectively.

warby68

If I was housing a 17y old who was half a world from home, I would want to make her feel welcome, safe and just a little bit looked after.

She would be fed, transported, able to wash her clothes and phone home and certainly not locked out of her temporary home.

Whilst OP is entitled to set whatever rules she likes in her own home and clearly meant well initially, I really don't think she is a good fit for this job. I certainly wouldn't willingly send my young adult child into such an 'unfriendly' environment where they were clearly more imposition than welcome.

Mojisola

warby68 wrote: »

If I was housing a 17y old who was half a world from home, I would want to make her feel welcome, safe and just a little bit looked after.

She would be fed, transported, able to wash her clothes and phone home and certainly not locked out of her temporary home.

If you take in a foreign student through one of the summer schemes, they have to have access to the home at all times so that usually means giving them a key.

Malthusian

Er, where did the idea that the houseguest is a 17 year old girl come from? The first mention of age 17 that I can find is missbiggles' mention that she had more restrictive rules when she was living with her parents at 17, nothing to do with the OP. The OP's posts suggest that this is a university-age student on some sort of work trip.

Whatever age the houseguest is, she is travelling on her own as an adult and can decide for herself whether to accept the OP's offer of free accomodation available from 6pm (or whenever she can get home from work), or to pay for a hotel. The OP has made an exceptionally generous and reasonable offer, it is not for the OP to make the houseguest's decision for her.

In this country we trust 18 year olds to go travelling round third world countries with no adult supervision whatsoever. The idea that the OP's houseguest must be taken straight from her conference to a warm bed with a hot mug of cocoa or she will be eaten by bears is ludicrous and insulting to everyone involved.

JReacher1

Malthusian wrote: »

Er, where did the idea that the houseguest is a 17 year old girl come from? The first mention of age 17 that I can find is missbiggles' mention that she had more restrictive rules when she was living with her parents at 17, nothing to do with the OP. The OP's posts suggest that this is a university-age student on some sort of work trip.

Whatever age the houseguest is, she is travelling on her own as an adult and can decide for herself whether to accept the OP's offer of free accomodation available from 6pm (or whenever she can get home from work), or to pay for a hotel. The OP has made an exceptionally generous and reasonable offer, it is not for the OP to make the houseguest's decision for her.

In this country we trust 18 year olds to go travelling round third world countries with no adult supervision whatsoever. The idea that the OP's houseguest must be taken straight from her conference to a warm bed with a hot mug of cocoa or she will be eaten by bears is ludicrous and insulting to everyone involved.

I think everyone agrees the OP has made an extremely generous offer. The issue being raised is that the OP is imposing several rules on their guest which to some people (me for one) seem slightly stringent.

Currently the guest appears to be unaware of the restrictions they will be under apart from the vegetarian aspect. It would seem to be sensible to provide all the rules to the guest up front so they are aware that if they stay at the OP's house they will be under an 11pm curfew, won't be provided a key and will only be allowed in the house when the OP is there.

If the guest is happy to accept these rules then that would be fine and everyone is grand. If on the otherhand the guest isn't told these rules until they arrive and they aren't happy with them it is going to create an awkward situation!