Guest staying free - house rules?

Malthusian

For convenience - the OP's particularly.

Otherwise s/he has to get back from work at the expected time (no standing around chatting or popping into the pub on the way back) - if s/he goes out during the evening then the return from that has to be syncronized with whatever the visitor's doing and, if she stays in, she may even need to stay up to let the visitor in on return.

How often are you significantly late back from work? If it's only for a week I wouldn't be put out by having to say "Sorry, can't go to the pub tonight, I've got to let my houseguest in". Not enough of a problem for me to give a stranger the key to my house.

If you're an investment banker or similar and often work long hours, and can't rely on being able to get home at 6pm to let the guest in, that would be different, but I wasn't getting that impression from the OP.

JReacher1

Why would you not give a house guest a key?

I see no reason why anyone would not give a key to someone who was staying at their house for a week. If you've trusted them to be in your house giving them a key doesn't really give them much more responsibility!

firely2327

JReacher1 wrote: »

Why would you not give a house guest a key?

I see no reason why anyone would not give a key to someone who was staying at their house for a week. If you've trusted them to be in your house giving them a key doesn't really give them much more responsibility!

My insurance company may not take kindly to me giving a perfect stranger a key, thereby allowing them to enter the property whenever they like. She could come back to the house early in the afternoon if she feels like leaving the meeting early one day, and what's to stop her having a look around in rooms where she's been asked to stay out of, e.g. my bedroom, when there's nobody there to keep an eye on her? And if she sets fire to the place by accident or indeed does herself an injury while she's alone in the property, liability?


Additionally, if she has a key what's to stop her returning to the house late at night, rat ar**d and waking me up. Without a key it knocks the possibility of a drunken person arriving home at all hours as I'll make it clear 11pm is the cut-off at which I'll open the door, which is reasonable on a weeknight for a guest. She'll be here to work, so I expect reasonably responsible behaviour in terms of hours but I will not give unfettered access to my property and it's occupants to a total stranger for a week.

JReacher1

firely2327 wrote: »

My insurance company may not take kindly to me giving a perfect stranger a key, thereby allowing them to enter the property whenever they like. She could come back to the house early in the afternoon if she feels like leaving the meeting early one day, and what's to stop her having a look around in rooms where she's been asked to stay out of, e.g. my bedroom, when there's nobody there to keep an eye on her? And if she sets fire to the place by accident or indeed does herself an injury while she's alone in the property, liability?


Additionally, if she has a key what's to stop her returning to the house late at night, rat ar**d and waking me up. Without a key it knocks the possibility of a drunken person arriving home at all hours as I'll make it clear 11pm is the cut-off at which I'll open the door, which is reasonable on a weeknight for a guest. She'll be here to work, so I expect reasonably responsible behaviour in terms of hours but I will not give unfettered access to my property and it's occupants to a total stranger for a week.

So when you leave the house at any point during this week are you going to make your guest leave as well? If not then most of your points are irrelevant and if you are then that is going to be very strange!

I'm amazed you've offered to let this person stay at your house, you won't give her a key, your forcing her to have a curfew and you're concerned that she can't be in a house on her own without setting it on fire!

I would tell her all the rules she is expected to follow before she turns up as I would be amazed if she still wants to!

Also to say any insurance company would object to you providing a key to someone you are allowing to live in your house for a week is so ridiculous it borders slightly on hysterical

peachyprice

firely2327 wrote: »

My insurance company may not take kindly to me giving a perfect stranger a key, thereby allowing them to enter the property whenever they like. She could come back to the house early in the afternoon if she feels like leaving the meeting early one day, and what's to stop her having a look around in rooms where she's been asked to stay out of, e.g. my bedroom, when there's nobody there to keep an eye on her? And if she sets fire to the place by accident or indeed does herself an injury while she's alone in the property, liability?


Additionally, if she has a key what's to stop her returning to the house late at night, rat ar**d and waking me up. Without a key it knocks the possibility of a drunken person arriving home at all hours as I'll make it clear 11pm is the cut-off at which I'll open the door, which is reasonable on a weeknight for a guest. She'll be here to work, so I expect reasonably responsible behaviour in terms of hours but I will not give unfettered access to my property and it's occupants to a total stranger for a week.

What are you going to do if you need to go out while she is home?
What are you going to do if she gets home after her curfew, leave her in the street all night?
What do you expect her to do if she is unwell and needs to leave her conference early, walk the streets?

If you have so little faith in this girl I think it's probably best you withdraw your offer.

daytona0

peachyprice wrote: »

If you have so little faith in this girl I think it's probably best you withdraw your offer.

Indeed, I am absolutely baffled that OP agreed to take them on in the first place! OP just doesn't seem like they want them to stay! It just doesn't make sense! Why take them on in the first place?

I think OP should communicate all of these things to the lodger before they arrive. If I was in her shoes then I'd be looking elsewhere at this moment in time. The vegetarianism is tolerable because one can always nip to maccies (which respects the wishes of OP RE: not cooking meat in the house), but to have no freedom and a curfew is just so restrictive! Combine that with a host who thinks you will be rummaging round their naughty drawer when they are out and it gets a bit dicey. That doesn't even factor in the idea that South American girls on a conference trip will probably be more professional/culture shocked than English/USA/Australian girls who have a very different outlook!

I just don't understand why OP initially took them on, and why they are now talking about insurance and naughty drawers in the bedroom, and no spare keys and curfews. OP should have been talking about these things BEFORE it was agreed!!

P.S. OP, but when did you get so old and set in your ways? You got your death insurance on the go yet?

firely2327

JReacher1 wrote: »

Also to say any insurance company would object to you providing a key to someone you are allowing to live in your house for a week is so ridiculous it borders slightly on hysterical

Cheers for the insult! There really is no need to be such an !!!! about it. I'm not going to apologise for making sure I'm covered for the worst case scenario. Paying guests are not covered so in this instance, an unpaying guest, I need to check legalities.
In either case she's not having a key, end of.




Secondly, there aren't a lot of rules
1. no smoking
2. no meat
3. I'll be there to let you in in the evening. I don't see these as being unreasonable at all, nor would any sane, rational person. Considering she's to be at meetings by 9am, as do I start work then, and I'll be home earlier than her, unless she skips out of the sessions (in which case why travel half way across the world for an opportunity only to skive), it's not like they are OTT rules. :cool:

firely2327

peachyprice wrote: »

What are you going to do if you need to go out while she is home?
What are you going to do if she gets home after her curfew, leave her in the street all night?
What do you expect her to do if she is unwell and needs to leave her conference early, walk the streets?

If you have so little faith in this girl I think it's probably best you withdraw your offer.

I'll go out and come back, obviously. But she wouldn't need a key if I'm out.


Leave her in the street, of course not. I've never been disrespectful enough to come back so late when staying with friends or family, without warning them. There are inventions called phones, useful if someone needs to tell someone they're delayed or ill.......

firely2327

daytona0 wrote: »

Combine that with a host who thinks you will be rummaging round their naughty drawer when they are out and it gets a bit dicey.

Confidential documents and valuable, delicate, breakable items in the room, hence off limits.... duh.


Trust someone to be crass, mind out of the gutter please.

daytona0

firely2327 wrote: »

Confidential documents and valuable, delicate, breakable items in the room, hence off limits.... duh.


Trust someone to be crass, mind out of the gutter please.

Trust someone to be so prudish!