Pet hate - being asked for a title

Person_one

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I dont know how many times or ways I have to find to say "Be what you blinkin' well like" re other peoples sexuality. Their choice. Their business and I will treat everyone the same regardless.

Just as it's my choice to take it for granted that I'm heterosexual and not like the thought that anyone would think for a moment I was anything else.

Most hetero people probably feel the same way.

Not sure how to break this to you, but none of us get to choose what other people might think of us!

Mojisola

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Just as it's my choice to take it for granted that I'm heterosexual and not like the thought that anyone would think for a moment I was anything else.

Most hetero people probably feel the same way.

I can't say it would bother me. We can't control what others think of us - if someone wants to assume I'm gay because I use the honorific Ms (or because I'm wearing dungarees and Doc Martin boots - as has happened to me), there's nothing I can do about that and, unless they decide to tell me that's what they think, I may never know.

The woman who thought all dungaree-wearing females were gay happened to mention her assumption about me to a mutual friend and was shocked to find that she was wrong.

takman

A wedding is just an expensive party hosted by the bride and groom so they can show off to all their friends and family how in love they are. So following that same theme weddings rings are also part of the show to allow everyone to see that you are married and changing your title signifys a similar thing.
So while a lot of people on this thread either disagree with a married woman having a different title or are indifferent to the idea. A lot of people must also enjoy that aspect of it because lavish and expensive weddings are extremely popular.

tea_lover

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Having used the title myself for nearly 40 years and during 2 hetero marriages I can honestly say nobody has ever assumed that or questioned me about it.

I don't know where you're meeting all these "lots of people" - Royston Vasey, perhaps?

How on earth do you know what people are assuming about you? I can't imagine all of them tell you to your face

Ames

missbiggles1 wrote: »

What's that when it's at home?

The Rad Fem movement is the extreme wing, although I don't know if that's what the other poster was referring to.

It's quite interesting to see the differences between Rad Fem and liberal feminism.

burlington6

I wish all these ''gender neutral'' ''non specific'' ''I'm offended'' people would go to that ''safe space'' they harp on about and leave the rest of us in peace.

Ames

takman wrote: »

A wedding is just an expensive party hosted by the bride and groom so they can show off to all their friends and family how in love they are. So following that same theme weddings rings are also part of the show to allow everyone to see that you are married and changing your title signifys a similar thing.
So while a lot of people on this thread either disagree with a married woman having a different title or are indifferent to the idea. A lot of people must also enjoy that aspect of it because lavish and expensive weddings are extremely popular.

What does a big lavish wedding have to do with what title a woman uses when married? I don't think fancy dresses and venues come with a contract you have to sign saying you'll use 'Mrs'.

moneyistooshorttomention

Oh well - I guess it is the case that none of us can ever assume that people are making THE obvious assumptions about us. As - who knows just how some peoples minds work?

The second someone says "my partner" or "my spouse" for instance - I automatically assume that that person is the opposite sex and would only realise I was wrong if it was stated otherwise. I've lost count of how many threads I've read on here where someone is referring to a spouse/partner/etc and its clear what sex that person is and I've assumed OP is the opposite sex - until they made some remark that indicated they werent.

We have to make some assumptions to get through life though, eg that someone we have made some sort of "deal" with (be it employer, business, etc, etc) will stick to their side of it. That our "significant other" will be faithful to us. People will be honest and law-abiding etc etc.

moneyistooshorttomention

Ames wrote: »

The Rad Fem movement is the extreme wing, although I don't know if that's what the other poster was referring to.

It's quite interesting to see the differences between Rad Fem and liberal feminism.

Errrr who? Puzzled now. What is "rad fem" and "liberal feminism" when they are at home?

In my book someone either regards themself as a person that just happens to have a female body OR they regard themselves as a "woman" and expect to be treated differently/thought of differently.

I'll go with the first. This time round - I have a female body - but I'm still (first and foremost) a person and expect to be treated as a person.

Plus side = I'm in the sex of body that has total control over whether to get pregnant or no - but men still don't have that option yet. May be another few years before they also have the total control women do. Society is less likely to try and put pressure on me to take part in its endless wars.

Minus side = Less physical strength and periods.

Dill

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I imagine they mean the extreme wing of the feminist movement.

Thankyou, yes that is what I meant.