Pet hate - being asked for a title

Georgiegirl256

I've heard it being used in regards to someone's sexuality, but got to admit, I'm not sure what these political movements are?

Torry_Quine

missbiggles1 wrote: »

That might be how you (incorrectly) perceive someone who uses it but it wouldn't be how others would perceive you and you said that you were concerned how others perceive you. It implies that you think everybody perceives things in exactly the same way you do which is obviously ridiculous.

You also said the term itself is new to you and yet you now say you have this wide experience of who uses it - I don't see how you can have it both ways.

I don't have wide experience, I can't think of anyone I know who has said to use Ms, although I would use it if asked. I said that until MSE I had only come across it for divorcees or older single women therefore that is what I would think unless of course I knew the woman. That means that if I were to use Ms would expect people to think that of me.

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I've heard it being used in regards to someone's sexuality, but got to admit, I'm not sure what these political movements are?

I imagine they mean the extreme wing of the feminist movement.

Nick_C

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

Assuming I graduate, I would prefer to use the same name/title everywhere, which would be Dr.

If you are working towards a doctorate, then presumably you have already graduated, and you are now a post grad.

The ceremony at which Doctorates are handed out is a convocation.

coolcait

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I don't have wide experience, I can't think of anyone I know who has said to use Ms, although I would use it if asked. I said that until MSE I had only come across it for divorcees or older single women therefore that is what I would think unless of course I knew the woman. That means that if I were to use Ms would expect people to think that of me.

...

I remembered a recent* forum discussion about the use of Ms, where it struck me that there might well be a difference in people's experience of the use of 'Ms', depending on which part of the UK they lived or worked in.

I mentioned that at the time.

Although Torry and I are from different parts of Scotland, her experience of the use of 'Ms' resonates with my experience of the way it is used/perceived in my local area.

* I say 'recent'. It seemed like a couple of weeks ago! It actually started at the end of November last year! Here's the link, if people want to read another 30 pages on the topic

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5369685=

moneyistooshorttomention

Person_one wrote: »

Again though, why does it matter if someone mistakenly thinks you are divorced? (I really don't think its the case at all anymore though, maybe 20 years ago, or if the woman using it is over 60).

Make that "over 80" rather than "over 60".

I am aware of few divorces in my mothers generation (ie over 80).

However - there have been lots of divorces in my generation (ie over 60). I've never come across anyone in my agegroup (ie 60-70) that blinks an eyelid about anyone being divorced.

moneyistooshorttomention

Dill wrote: »

I've never heard of it in reference to one's sexuality! :rotfl:

If anything, I would link the title Ms. primarily with a political movement, some of whose views (and behaviours) not all women want to be associated with.

I would be unhappy at thinking someone was trying to make out that Ms was a way of saying they were gay. It would mean many of us couldnt use it - as doing so would imply we were gay too.

It's entirely someone's personal business if they are gay - but if anyone much tried to imply Ms meant that - then most of us would have to stop using this title. I certainly wouldnt use it any longer.

Iwould feel "they've taken our title - now what title can we use instead?"

I think that the title "Ms" may have originally been something that was used by women of a more left-wing persuasion (ie to the left of the Labour Party possibly?) - but I think that its one of those words that has come to mean something different over the decades and nowadays doesnt imply any particular political persuasion (just as well - as my own politics have changed somewhat over the years...:rotfl:).

***************

Re "Ms" being regarded differently in some parts of the country. That thought hadnt occurred to me. I started using it in my home city and I continue using it now I live in semi-rural Wales and dont expect people to think any differently about it. I have noticed the occasional local firm hesitating briefly if they ask for a title and so I tell them that and have just taken it as being "Oh that's one particular person that seems unfamiliar with it - that's unusual.....".

Rosemary7391

Nick_C wrote: »

If you are working towards a doctorate, then presumably you have already graduated, and you are now a post grad.

The ceremony at which Doctorates are handed out is a convocation.

Yes to the first part, not sure to the second. PhD candidates were at the same ceremony as the undergraduates at Durham, which I believe was called a congregation. I'm not sure how my current institution handles things, but I've plenty of time before I need to find out!

NBLondon

tea_lover wrote: »

After all, a retailer doesn't need to know my marital status anymore than they need to know whether I have a PhD or have been ordained - but presumably you don't think it's 'up themselves' for someone to use Mrs in a shop?

Quite possibly... if they do it in a haughty manner or as still happens - to trade on the status of the husband's name. Noctu mentioned the difference between doing it for practical reasons and to make a point.


A mate of mine finally got his PhD in his 40s and the rugby club asked if he wanted to change his membership card. Why? His doctorate is not in rugby and he's not a physio or anything.


I'm talking about the sort of person who feels the need to have their title and post-nominal letters on their credit card (they do exist). On a business card maybe - if the qualifications are relevant.

NBLondon

theoretica wrote: »

Why do you make an exception for medical doctors? Why should they have their job before their name? Would you leave other job title titles like Mr/Mrs Justice Jones?

Why not? The Italians (and some other Europeans) do... "Dottore/Dottoressa " is often used as a title of respect for anyone who has completed a degree (though they used to be closer to a UK Masters) and other professionals are addressed as "Avvocato", "Ingegnere ", "Architetto" when they have a degree plus a qualification (sort of equivalent of being Chartered here).


Hmmm. OK - next time I see a drop-down that offers me Ing. as my title, I'm gonna claim it.

Georgiegirl256

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I would be unhappy at thinking someone was trying to make out that Ms was a way of saying they were gay. It would mean many of us couldnt use it - as doing so would imply we were gay too.

It's entirely someone's personal business if they are gay - but if anyone much tried to imply Ms meant that - then most of us would have to stop using this title. I certainly wouldnt use it any longer.

Iwould feel "they've taken our title - now what title can we use instead?"
.".

Well, you'd better start looking for a new title then because like it or not that is what some people might think.

So as well as people thinking that you're either divorced or a raging feminist trying to make a point, then get used to some people also thinking that you might be gay too. Nothing wrong with any of those of course, they are just connotations that can come with using the title Ms.

Btw, your last sentence is quite offensive. "They've" taken "our" title? It's not anyone's title, it's there for whoever wants to use it.