Pet hate - being asked for a title

takman

Mojisola wrote: »

Of course there is. All men continue to use the title "Master" like little boys until they get married and become "Mr" - that's the tradition for women with Miss and Mrs.

But that wouldn't work because I can't remember ever seeing the option to choose "Master" as a title on any bank application, credit card application etc.

But I understand your point saying it would be undesirable because it is aimed at young boys. But if the system did change then anyone who didn't like the title of "Master" could just continue using "Mr", just like woman can choose to use "Mrs" or "Miss" whenever they choose.

moneyistooshorttomention

NBLondon wrote: »

Or are you saying that if you see her being quoted in her new name - you'll think "Who?" and automatically dismiss them.

Obviously not...:wall:. I'd just not know who she was - but think "Everyone has to start somewhere" and assume she was new to all this...

...but it helps to know someone has been "doing their thing" for some years/what they've achieved to date/etc.

Mojisola

takman wrote: »

But that wouldn't work because I can't remember ever seeing the option to choose "Master" as a title on any bank application, credit card application etc.

It would work if the change became normal because then the option would be available - (Ms wasn't an option on many forms at first) - but I can't see many men wanting to use the junior title once they reached adulthood.

But I understand your point saying it would be undesirable because it is aimed at young boys. But if the system did change then anyone who didn't like the title of "Master" could just continue using "Mr", just like woman can choose to use "Mrs" or "Miss" whenever they choose.

The idea behind having Ms as a female alternative to Mr was to reduce the options available - forms would have a simple Mr/Ms/Other (for Lord, Dr, Baroness, etc) - and prevent making customers cross because the wrong title was used but a surprising number of women still want to proclaim their marital status to the world in situations where the information is irrelevant. That's something I don't understand.

moneyistooshorttomention

Ditto Mojisola.

Finding someone to marry is easy enough and most people can manage that - so why would it be an "achievement"? I would think many of us could have got married several times over with no problem if we had chosen to....

The difficulty lies in finding the right person to marry - and that IS difficult/pure good luck if you find them/etc.

Mojisola

It's often enlightening if you flip the male/female expectations around.

If I was filling in form with a customer and asked a man his details - say, Mr John Smith - and then he added "And I'm married" or "And I'm single", that would be really strange and yet that's what women do when they use Miss or Mrs.

securityguy

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Imo - we should offer literally every single title we know of as an option when it comes to it and a "dont have a title" option.

That way we show up people who insist on a title of some description. Be it "Mrs/Miss" or "Lady/Sir" or "Dr" (when they arent a medical doctor), etc, etc.

The "what's a real doctor?" argument is always good for a spat. In principle, you're only entitled to the title "Dr" if you hold a doctorate, and if you don't, it's just a courtesy title. Medical doctors often go on to do doctorates, but a qualified physician holds an MBChB (or their medical school's equivalent), that is, two first degrees, plus their MRCP and so on professional qualifications. Doctors (and dentists) call themselves Doctor, but it's easier in countries like Germany where there are separate titles for the two concepts (Doktor and Arzt).

Unfortunately, when people with PhDs assert this people accuse them of snobbery, while physicians who complain that it's confusing that Dr Brian Cox can't set broken legs are accused of being chippy. It's not about demand: you can get an MBChB in five years from A Levels, whereas it'll usually take at least 7 to get a PhD, more commonly 8, and the theoretical minimum is 6. And the failure rate on PhDs is way higher, too, although for different reasons.

But I stay out of these arguments now, as aged 51 I'm a newly minted Doctor.

theoretica

Mojisola wrote: »

but a surprising number of women still want to proclaim their marital status to the world in situations where the information is irrelevant. That's something I don't understand.

I am not convinced a lot of it is a desire to proclaim their marital status so much as a simple resistance to change the familiar system, including what is seen in many cases as part of our names.

We can think of plenty of possible systems - abolishing all titles, one title for men and one for women, a single title for all people - but they are all changes.

moneyistooshorttomention

I guess it's just a "take the easy option" thing for many women and they probably are just taking the most obvious path.

Many people (of both sexes) will just take the easiest option in many respects in life (ie rather than deciding what they think/asking themselves if its reasonable to expect it/going for it if it is reasonable - or they tell themselves its reasonable).

I can certainly think of friends who would/do just tell me "Oh...just let them have their way. Do what they want you to. It's only a little thing" about some things in life - and I could predict their name will be "Mrs (his surname)" - as its the easiest option and, in every single case, that is exactly what their name is.

The phrase used I guess would be "fitting in".

Pollycat

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I guess it's just a "take the easy option" thing for many women and they probably are just taking the most obvious path.

Many people (of both sexes) will just take the easiest option in many respects in life (ie rather than deciding what they think/asking themselves if its reasonable to expect it/going for it if it is reasonable - or they tell themselves its reasonable).

I can certainly think of friends who would/do just tell me "Oh...just let them have their way. Do what they want you to. It's only a little thing" about some things in life - and I could predict their name will be "Mrs (his surname)" - as its the easiest option and, in every single case, that is exactly what their name is.

The phrase used I guess would be "fitting in".

No 'easy option' for me.

Getting remarried in my mid-thirties (already called 'Mrs' from my previous marriage), I made a concious decision to take my husband's name & retain the title 'Mrs'.

NBLondon

securityguy wrote: »

Unfortunately, when people with PhDs assert this people accuse them of snobbery, while physicians who complain that it's confusing that Dr Brian Cox can't set broken legs are accused of being chippy.

Do you mean Professor Brian Cox (the physicist)? As opposed to the Scottish actor - Brian Cox CBE or Brian Cox the Sheffield Wednesday goalkeeper? Could be worse - imagine Dr Jeremy Clarkson treating you...
(Yes - he is, an honorary one in engineering).

But seriously - there's also the problem that there are people who claim the title Dr with even more spurious grounds. For example, Gillian McKeith (or to give her the correct medical title Ms Gillian McKeith.) That being a joke I have shamelessly stolen from Dr Ben Goldacre (who is technically three times a doctor - MB plus two DSc).

Some would say that devalues your achievements and efforts (and all the other doctors here).

And that's without making a single Big Bang Theory reference :-)