How do you know when to give up?

sweetilemon

I think you need to put a plan in place for when you leave. Please speak to woman's aid. If he has thrown things (coins) at you before it could get violent. Isolating family, turning other people against you and making you feel like it's your fault are all psychological abuse. Keeping your money in his account is controlling if he makes you feel guilty for asking for it to be changed to your name. You could change it to Santander 123 joint account, tell him it's better interest (presumably). The tax allowance on interest has changed so not as much benefits of an ISA. Means you have access if you need it.

nearlyrich

Believe me this is all abuse, when you are in it you doubt yourself and think he must be right, get out with your children with the aid of woman's aid. Money isn't important compared to feeling free of this abuse. I have been there many years ago and going it alone was the best thing for myself and my children. I wish you well you shouldn't have to try that hard not to upset him x

chella

http://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/



I cant find it, I am in a rush, but within this link is Mr dominator poster. It shows how men dominate and control women. They also run 12 week courses for women only which I think could l really help you to make sense of things .

Please have a read OP.

chella

OP, please also be mindful if he has access to your laptop, to delete any relevant browsing history etc.

LannieDuck

There may not be any physical abuse, but this is a full-on abusive relationship.

OP, please speak to women's aid. Given the involvement of the children, I think this situation's too complex for us keyboard warriors. You need proper, professional advice and assistance.

PeacefulWaters

I feel so sad to read this.

harrys_nan

Please take notice of all the advice given to you on this thread.
Contact your family and ask for help, even if you have to say they were right. Contact women's aid while he is out of the house,keep putting bits of money by when you can and def delete all the history on you computer/laptop or phone.
You must start thinking of yourself and your children, you all need to leave. Please take care. xx

harrys_nan

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

Mojisola

Anon324543 wrote: »

I am in the midst of depression so I am wary of any decisions I make but I fully understand that my mental health is affecting them all.

It's very likely that all this will improve when you get away from the person who keeps telling you how useless you are.

pigpen

It sounds like he has already given up and trying to make you leave.. having inappropriate contact with other women, bullying you, encouraging the children to ignore you.. thats enough..

You deserve to be happy not bullied to tears in your own home.

((hugs))