I thought about posting this anonymously

Toomuchdebt

And I now know where he gets his manipulative behaviour from. His Dad messaged me offering me £100 if I let him in to sleep. I told him I valued peace and quiet more than I wanted his money. So he then wrote that I was heartless and cruel and would end up in the same position one day and that my kids would end up hating me.The apple clearly doesn't fall far from the tree.

Mojisola

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

And I now know where he gets his manipulative behaviour from. His Dad messaged me offering me £100 if I let him in to sleep.

If his Dad has got £100 to spare, why doesn't he give it to his son for a hotel room?

Absolutely no need to pressurise you into taking him in!

Toomuchdebt

Because he knows if he sends it to him he will drink the whole lot. He's done it before. He thinks I'll do anything for money. Er nope.

Gigervamp

So, his dad wants you to put him up overnight, but won't offer a bed or sofa to his own son, himself!

Toomuchdebt

Gigervamp wrote: »

So, his dad wants you to put him up overnight, but won't offer a bed or sofa to his own son, himself!

His dad is in Poland.I did suggest they buy him a ticket home instead.

Gigervamp

Ah, a bit trickier, but yes, I agree about a ticket home.

barbiedoll

If he comes back drunk again before Wednesday, and he goes to sleep in his car, he'll presumably have the car keys with him in the car?

If so, call the police and tell them that your ex partner has turned up drunk and that he's in his car with the keys and you're afraid that he is going to drive (don't tell them that you know that the car is not working.) The police will hopefully turn up quite quickly and will probably arrest for being drunk in charge of a vehicle. With any luck, he'll kick off and they'll take him away and put him up for the night in a cell, which will at least give you and the kids a break, and will also show him that you aren't putting up with his antics anymore.

Don't put up with it anyway. It's not his home, you aren't his partner and you're not responsible for his life choices. If he has nowhere to go, then that is not your problem. Report him, take the help from SS (they really, really don't want to take your children away, they want to help you) and don't engage in conversations with his father, just ignore any calls and texts, he shouldn't be passing the responsibility onto you.

Get this waste of space out of your lives once and for all.

FreeBear

barbiedoll wrote: »

If he comes back drunk again before Wednesday, and he goes to sleep in his car, he'll presumably have the car keys with him in the car?

If so, call the police and tell them that your ex partner has turned up drunk and that he's in his car with the keys and you're afraid that he is going to drive (don't tell them that you know that the car is not working.) The police will hopefully turn up quite quickly and will probably arrest for being drunk in charge of a vehicle.

Don't even have to tell the police that you think he might drive away - It matters not that the car isn't working or even on private land. Just sitting in a car whilst drunk is enough to get arrested and the drunkard doesn't have to be in the driving seat or have the keys on him.

duchy

barbiedoll wrote: »

Don't put up with it anyway. It's not his home, you aren't his partner and you're not responsible for his life choices. If he has nowhere to go, then that is not your problem. Report him, take the help from SS (they really, really don't want to take your children away, they want to help you) and don't engage in conversations with his father, just ignore any calls and texts, he shouldn't be passing the responsibility onto you.

Get this waste of space out of your lives once and for all.

Have you spoken to Women's Aid for support in your situation ? They don't onlyhelp women escape from domestic abuse they will also support you both emotionally (many abused women have no support as the abuser has socially isolated them from friends and family) and with legal advice to stay out of the abusive situation once you've left it- both I think you'd find helpful. As mentioned before the police with have an officer/officers who specialize in domestic abuse situations who can also help.

You dismissed my comment earlier and claimed that because you used to live together it meant he wasn't abusing you - You need to realize that if you are no longer together then whether you used to live with him or not makes no difference. He is acting both abusively and illegally and you have the law on your side to put an end to this -if you choose to (and with social services involved already you'd be a fool not to if you want to keep your kids)

lemontart

Major hugs to you, I do hope by getting all out here it has helped clarify things in your head. You can call the police now as he is verbally assaulting you by being abusive. Also the fact he has car keys and is in a car drunk could be deemed a risk.

Look into getting an injunction to ,xxxx