I thought about posting this anonymously

Pollycat

nimbo wrote: »

I also know it's horrid but if he annoys a neighbour to the point where they call the police social services will still find out - you might as well call yourself - you need to protect your children and yourself form this. You shouldn't be locked in your own house and hiding form someone - and your children shouldn't have to see mum scared of dad. And dad acting like a deranged drunk person.

I can't find the dodgy looking group hug icon - so big hugs. ��

OP, I think you also need to consider your position as a tenant if neighbours are getting unhappy with an agressive drunk banging on your door.

You owe it to yourself and your children to hold onto the life you've built for yourself away form this abusive man - please take action now.

Here's the dodgy looking group hug icon that nimbo couldn't find - :grouphug:

fabforty

Don't risk losing your home and your tenancy because of him - neighbours will complain and you may well be given notice. He has no right to be there or to have his cars there, or his possessions but you need to get tough and get him removed. Tell him to remove his property. If he returns banging at the door, tell him to leave or you will call the police and mean it. You might eventually need to get a restraining order. Speak to Woman's Aid. You need to do something, the situation will not get better on it's own.

Toomuchdebt

Thank you all for your support. I was able to sleep until about 6 when he started banging on the window but I ignored him and he stopped. Later on around 9:30 he had the nerve to ask me to charge his phone being all sweet and nice and calling me dear and darling. I refused so he called me a fat b**ch. I am seeing now how manipulative he is and how this can't go on.I'm going to give him till Wednesday to remove his cars(he has taken his car batteries to be charged and they will be ready then) and after that I will ask the police to remove them.All his stuff is in bags in the front porch so again I have told him he has until Wednesday to take it away or I will put it outside.
I'm fed up of the whole situation. I've wasted too many years on him. You're all right-he's a bully and it is abuse. I'm not going to let it happen any more.

Pollycat

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

Thank you all for your support. I was able to sleep until about 6 when he started banging on the window but I ignored him and he stopped. Later on around 9:30 he had the nerve to ask me to charge his phone being all sweet and nice and calling me dear and darling. I refused so he called me a fat b**ch. I am seeing now how manipulative he is and how this can't go on.I'm going to give him till Wednesday to remove his cars(he has taken his car batteries to be charged and they will be ready then) and after that I will ask the police to remove them.All his stuff is in bags in the front porch so again I have told him he has until Wednesday to take it away or I will put it outside.
I'm fed up of the whole situation. I've wasted too many years on him. You're all right-he's a bully and it is abuse. I'm not going to let it happen any more.

Well done. :T

Stay calm and strong.
And be careful. It may be a good idea to have a friend or neighbour with you when the police arrive if you do have to call them.
I hope it won't be necessary.

Toomuchdebt

I don't really have anyone I could call to be with me in this situation. My parents would come but I don't want to put them through stress like this as my Mum had a heart operation several years ago and has been told to avoid stress.

Gigervamp

If the cars are broken, what difference does charging the batteries make?

Also, can't he put his stuff in the cars instead of your porch?

Toomuchdebt

Gigervamp wrote: »

If the cars are broken, what difference does charging the batteries make?

Also, can't he put his stuff in the cars instead of your porch?

One car is totally undriveable and the other is driveable but belches out lots of smoke.He can take that one away as soon as he has the battery. The other one he is convinced is just the battery despite the fact that it broke down with a new battery in it.
Yes I told him to put the stuff in the car but he hasn't done it yet.

redpete

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

Yes I told him to put the stuff in the car but he hasn't done it yet.

So put the bags outside by the cars. He is exploiting every piece of control he has over you, getting you to go to the door when he wants you to, having his cars on your drive, keeping his stuff in your porch.

You owe it to your kids and to yourself to get him out of your life. He has got himself in the mess, you owe him nothing.

pigpen

Without reading any of the replies... if he comes to your house ring the police.. if he sits outside your house ring the police... if he becomes abusive, verbally or physically or anythingly.. ring the police...

I have rung them several times when my ex has turned up being abusive.. and a few times when all he has done is come down my street.. he comes down here to intimidate and bully us and my 17 y/o is petrified to the point he has not left the house alone since December and threatened suicide and has been seeing a psychologist for over a year..

You have to protect your children and let them see that this is not how human beings behave.. either in a drunken vile manner or as a dorrmat.. you are the only one who can protect them from this and show them how to behave and where to draw the line at other peoples abusive behaviour.

Why would you need to feel any guilt for protecting your home and children? Are they not your number 1 priority?? You owe that piece of crap nothing.. he is choosing to live as he does and you don't have to go down that slippery slope with him.

Do whatever it takes to get him out of your life... I suppose I should say within reason but I put no limitations on that

Toomuchdebt

Sorry to not reply sooner, I've been at my parents house for most of the afternoon.

I'm going to pack all his things tomorrow and put them by the car that is driveable once the battery gets put back in. The only reason I'm not doing it now is that it's dark in the porch as the lightbulb has gone and also I tidied away all my clothes this morning and my arms feel like lead now.

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone for helping me to see the situation clearly.