No children at wedding

Peter333

silvercar wrote: »

People seem to hear the word "wedding" and suddenly their children need to be included.

You wouldn't think of including children for a drink in the pub, cinema trip, theatre outing or meal out. But say its a wedding and suddenly kids can't miss out. Sigh!

Really if your circle of friends, relatives, childminders etc is so small that you can't find anyone to look after your child for at least part of a day, you are going to be putting your life on hold for 14(?) years.

Hmmm good point. However, sometimes it isn't that easy to get someone to look after your kids for what can be a whole day.

Thing is, excluding kids from a trip to the cinema and the theatre is not the same as excluding them from a wedding, because a wedding is more family orientated, and many people will be offended if part of their family is excluded. If you were invited to a wedding and your husband wasn't, would you be OK with that?

FBaby wrote: »

When you made the decision that children would not be invited, you knew it would upset to varying degrees some people. You went ahead with the decision because ultimately, it is your wedding, so if someone was going to be upset, better them than you.

Nothing wrong with that, but you can't then consider you have a right to be upset because of how they responded to them being upset. Just like you can do whatever you want because it is your wedding, they can do whatever they want because it is their kids.

We went for a 'no children' wedding. It turned out not to be an issue because most kids were older so it was more of a case of being relieved to have a good reason to leave them behind. It was local too and started early, so anyone could have left by 10pm and still have a good time.

However, if anyone had written that they couldn't come because they didn't want to leave their kids behind I would have totally respected their decision and not get offended by it. We all have different views on what is acceptable or not, so respect has to go both ways.

This ^^^ Thing is, it's fine to exclude children from your wedding:- your choice. However, don't complain when people don't turn up.

Person_one

Are you still inviting your nieces and nephews? If so, just make sure you aren't calling it an 'adults only' or 'child free' wedding!

cbrown372

Two weddings I attended that my child wasn't invited to, both the brides phoned and told me this before the invites came out. Do not put anything on the invites that might be misconstrued, phone those with children and tell them.

One when my daughter was quite young and attending a private nursery, wedding was a Friday, I asked one of the staff that we were friendly with if she would baby sit which she willingly did, took her to her home for tea with her Mum and Dad, then she went to my house and got her ready for bed and waited until I came home.

seven-day-weekend

Peter333 wrote: »

Hmmm good point. However, sometimes it isn't that easy to get someone to look after your kids for what can be a whole day.

Thing is, excluding kids from a trip to the cinema and the theatre is not the same as excluding them from a wedding, because a wedding is more family orientated, and many people will be offended if part of their family is excluded. If you were invited to a wedding and your husband wasn't, would you be OK with that?



This ^^^ Thing is, it's fine to exclude children from your wedding:- your choice. However, don't complain when people don't turn up.

Yes, if it was someone like a work colleague, who didn't know him.

Peter333

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Yes, if it was someone like a work colleague, who didn't know him.

But the original dilemma is not about work colleagues who don't know peoples partners is it?

It's about extended family.

gilly1964

Prothet_of_Doom wrote: »

That said I'm still !!!!ed off that I wasn't allowed to attend my Granddad's Funeral because i was a child. I still remember that. I was 3 at the time.

We were not allowed to attend our Mum's funeral, aged 7 and 5, in the early 1970s

We were at the wake after being picked up from school, but no one explained it was not a party and I was smacked by my aunt (Mum's sister) for dancing to the background music

I have never forgotten

seven-day-weekend

Peter333 wrote: »

But the original dilemma is not about work colleagues who don't know peoples partners is it?

It's about extended family.

I thought it was about children in general, related and unrelated.

I actually told one of my friends I didn't want her husband at my wedding as he was a violent thug who drank too much and caused trouble. She understood completely (later divorced him and married someone else).

Top_Girl

If an invitation to a wedding came for Top Bloke and I, I wouldn't assume my son was invited.


If it was a close friend or family member, I'd check.


If not, I'd assume he wasn't and arrange childcare or decline due to lack of childcare.


Your wedding, your choice and that includes which, if any, children you have there.

Hemera

I don't like this idea of not inviting children, and I don't like the idea of picking who can come and who can't completely disregarding the invitee's situation in life and feelings - this includes things like inviting someone who doesn't know anyone else (or who has to travel a long way) without a +1, or inviting someone but not their partner. In general, I think the organiser of an event has a duty to make people comfortable, and not just to do as he/she pleases "because it's my party". But then again, I come from another place and my culture is different.

One thing is pretty general though, at least IMHO: as other people are already said, you have the right to make your own choice (and to expect people not to be offended by them), but you have to extend the same right to the invitees.

Jagraf

Hemera wrote: »

I don't like this idea of not inviting children, and I don't like the idea of picking who can come and who can't completely disregarding the invitee's situation in life and feelings - this includes things like inviting someone who doesn't know anyone else (or who has to travel a long way) without a +1, or inviting someone but not their partner. In general, I think the organiser of an event has a duty to make people comfortable, and not just to do as he/she pleases "because it's my party". But then again, I come from another place and my culture is different.

One thing is pretty general though, at least IMHO: as other people are already said, you have the right to make your own choice (and to expect people not to be offended by them), but you have to extend the same right to the invitees.

The thing is, if you are really keen for 'x' to come, you will try to make it easy. If it's neither here nor there, you don't need to extend the invitation. I would move mountains for certain chikdren who I am close to to be there, others I'm not so keen so I wouldn't invite them.