No children at wedding

Sicard

I'm with you OP. I like children but I couldn't eat a whole one.

Venessa_Hodge

Hahah... I agree with your 2nd point. That's why I don't like kids in parties or wedding.

SandC

If you have a circle of friends/family of similar ages if many do things in a 'traditional' order and get married in their twenties then go on to have children later then chances are your wedding will be relatively easy to sort out when it comes to inviting them or not. You may only have a couple of friends or cousins with young children.

If you then don't meet the person of your dreams until you are in your thirties and you haven't had any children in the meantime either then your wedding day could become one where the children outnumber the adult friends and relatives! Those same people may not have had that dilemma to face.

Also what age child does it become acceptable for them to automatically not be included as part of that couple when it comes to invites? When they become adults at 18 or somewhere in the teens? I do think invitations have to specify - would those parents who assume their children are invited in their RSVP also assume they are if they are aged 15 and 17?

It's very difficult and I'm not married myself. If I did do now I am now soooo old that only a handful of friends and relatives have children under the age of 10 (and I would assume, please, that they don't start expecting to have their grandchildren invited???). Had I decided to get married at age 35 there would have been so many children in the equation it would have been one of those scenarios that put some people's noses out of joint - but when you don't have children and it's your first marriage, really do you want the expense if nothing else of having all of those kids?

My friend got married late twenties and there were no children involved with any of the 'gang' of mates. Also, the decision was made to have no partners in the daytime for our group as a couple were married, a couple were in relationships and a couple were not seeing anyone. Bride and groom thought that was the fairest way, then those with a plus one came at night time, if they wanted. It raised some eyebrows but they didn't have a never ending fountain of cash available for all the plus ones for a meal.

BarryBlue

Jagraf wrote: »

At some point parents need to think about being independent human beings otherwise they are going to have an almighty shock when their kids leave home. Their kids as they grow will not want to go to their relatives wedding and will turn down certain invitations and lets hope when parents fumble for excuses that the bride and groom don't take it personally.

When you put your own kids on a pedestal thinking they have some intrinsic right to everything, it's a big shock to the system when they become their own beings and let other family members down (including parents - a natural stage of growing up).

I think I mentioned this earlier, I have had family members fall out with others over invited to someone's 21st (really - expecting young kids to be able to go to a 21st?). Boot ws on the other foot when their own came of age and all of a sudden acceptable to not invite kids.

When I was a child I hated the idea of going to a wedding. My parents went to a couple when I was in my early teens but it never occurred to me to accompany them. Saturdays were football days so they went on their own and left me to it. The first wedding I went to was a cousin's when I was 18, and it was summer so there was no football.

I haven't been to many weddings since, yet I have always preferred the ones without children there. Tiny ones have a habit of screaming during the ceremony, and the older kids can be extremely tiresome when they get bored at the reception. None were allowed near mine!

silvercar

Also what age child does it become acceptable for them to automatically not be included as part of that couple when it comes to invites? When they become adults at 18 or somewhere in the teens? I do think invitations have to specify - would those parents who assume their children are invited in their RSVP also assume they are if they are aged 15 and 17?

People seem to hear the word "wedding" and suddenly their children need to be included.

You wouldn't think of including children for a drink in the pub, cinema trip, theatre outing or meal out. But say its a wedding and suddenly kids can't miss out. Sigh!

Really if your circle of friends, relatives, childminders etc is so small that you can't find anyone to look after your child for at least part of a day, you are going to be putting your life on hold for 14(?) years.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

onlyroz wrote: »

As for expecting people to go without their partner, many people would be uncomfortable with that, especially if they don't know many of the other guests. There are few things more painful than being somewhere where you hardly know anyone and have to make small-talk for hours with strangers.

Then spare a thought for all the single people who have to go to weddings on their own all the time (at one I was the only singleton there, and only knew the bride: fun!).

Person_one

Out,_Vile_Jelly wrote: »

Then spare a thought for all the single people who have to go to weddings on their own all the time (at one I was the only singleton there, and only knew the bride: fun!).

If you literally only knew the bride it was a bit inconsiderate of them not to give you a plus one. But then why should they have to be put out by considering their loved ones, friends and family on Their Special Day, eh,? :cool:

onlyroz

silvercar wrote: »

Really if your circle of friends, relatives, childminders etc is so small that you can't find anyone to look after your child for at least part of a day, you are going to be putting your life on hold for 14(?) years.

Um yes, that's what many parents have to do.


As for "part of a day" - most weddings are around noon with the reception finishing at midnight - which could require around 10-15 hours of childcare. Do you know any babysitters who could do that?

onlyroz

Out,_Vile_Jelly wrote: »

Then spare a thought for all the single people who have to go to weddings on their own all the time (at one I was the only singleton there, and only knew the bride: fun!).

Yes I imagine that wouldn't be much fun if the only person you knew was the bride or groom. In such circumstances I would probably decline the invite.

FBaby

When you made the decision that children would not be invited, you knew it would upset to varying degrees some people. You went ahead with the decision because ultimately, it is your wedding, so if someone was going to be upset, better them than you.

Nothing wrong with that, but you can't then consider you have a right to be upset because of how they responded to them being upset. Just like you can do whatever you want because it is your wedding, they can do whatever they want because it is their kids.

We went for a 'no children' wedding. It turned out not to be an issue because most kids were older so it was more of a case of being relieved to have a good reason to leave them behind. It was local too and started early, so anyone could have left by 10pm and still have a good time.

However, if anyone had written that they couldn't come because they didn't want to leave their kids behind I would have totally respected their decision and not get offended by it. We all have different views on what is acceptable or not, so respect has to go both ways.