Bank of mam and Dad,do you have you?

sofarbehind

This is a fascinating thread. Another one with no help or practical support here. My parents are poor so the financial support was never possible but the lack of love and support I resent. My grandparents did help them financially.

I've finally found my way into a decent job but find my living standard is way, way below that those who were gifted deposits years ago. I don't want to feel bitter about it but it's very frustrating. Hopefully when I manage to buy a house I'll be less worried about this. If I have kids I'll be helping them with a deposit if I can. If I don't I'll be helping my niece.

fairy_lights

The bank of Mum and Dad funded most of the deposit for my house, and it's very appreciated. I never expected them to help so generously, but it turned out my Dad did - his parents gave him the deposit for his first house back in the 80's so he felt like it was only right that he pay it forward.

Ganga

We've not really had any financial help from my parents, although they've been kind enough to gift us £1,000 once or twice which we've used for a holiday.

You are very lucky that a couple of thousand pounds is not financial help !

bellaboo86

My parents have lent me money in the past, which I am very grateful for.
What I'm most grateful though is the time they have given me. I bought my first house over a year ago and they've helped with the decorating. Not just a lick of paint but plastering as well as ripping out and installing my new kitchen.
I hope that when I'm a bit further along my career I will be able to treat them to a little holiday or something.
I would also want to do the same as my parents have done if I have my own children.

Kynthia

Ganga wrote: »

We've not really had any financial help from my parents, although they've been kind enough to gift us £1,000 once or twice which we've used for a holiday.

You are very lucky that a couple of thousand pounds is not financial help !

What's 'help' though? If they didn't need the money in order to do something fairly necessary, like buy a house or get driving lessons, then is it help? Sounds like they were treated to a nice gift just because.

pickledonionspaceraider

maman wrote: »

I think, if you haven't already done so, I'd be handing him an envelope with £200 next time I saw him just to make the point.

Totally agree, forgot to add , he was paid back two decades ago, at least lol

minimacka

We didn't get any financial help from either of our parents but the help they gave us with free childcare was irreplaceable. Now we are in a better position we like to treat my mum and mil as a way of saying thank you really. My mum is going to NYC in November and I will give her a big chunk of money to go with as she is a widower and a pensioner. My 2 brothers in there 30's and 40's still live at home and would probably take her last £1 off her to buy something. it really makes me mad, they contribute hardly anything and expect everything.


We paid for driving lessons for both our boys and have since bought our eldest boy a car so that he could get to work and have since paid for 4 new tyres and a visit to the garage. The youngest son has use of our 2nd car until he goes to uni then he will be living on campus so wont need it. We have been saving for him to go to uni but he is very independent and will work some hours to cover his living costs. If he needs any help then the money will be there for him.


I am glad that we are in a position to do this for them, they would not ask for money its always us that offer.

onomatopoeia99

I borrowed and repaid money for used cars twice in my 20s. They also gave me their old (15 years old) car when Dad was looking to buy a new one, it would have been worth a few hundred part-ex but it got me out of a hole when my finances were very streched from buying my ex out of what had been our home.

System

My parents bailed me out of several sticky situations at uni, and i'm eternally grateful for it, but the last time i got into a mess i refused to let them help and instead used some inheritance i had. I've never asked them for money again. They've gone above beyond to help in the past but i'm firmly now in the belief that i need to help myself instead of being bailed out by them

Ganga

Kynthia wrote: »

What's 'help' though? If they didn't need the money in order to do something fairly necessary, like buy a house or get driving lessons, then is it help? Sounds like they were treated to a nice gift just because.

The point that i was making was that the person who posted it Stated " we have not really had any financial help " but surely a couple of grand is financial help even if they did not ask for it.I am not knocking them for it but it it seems a bit of a cop out saying that they never had help but then admitted a couple of grand for holidays came their way.