Bank of mam and Dad,do you have you?

Jagraf

greensalad wrote: »

But are they really dependent still? They're adults after all.

Not necessarily disagreeing with you (I'd have LOVED to have parents like you) but most parents I know don't seem to consider university something they should have anything to do with. I know I didn't, and was expected to go it alone, and one of the driving factors behind working so hard was realising I'd be homeless come graduation!

Unfortunately the government see uni students as children still, so base their (now small) grant on the household income of the family (parents). Even though they are 18+.

I actually have no problem with all people paying for the privilege of higher education, but as parents are not obliged to help out it still seems unfair.

We are going to pay for accommodation.

Spendless

Once I started working full-time I paid my own way but parents helped me out with money towards a car. They did this on 3 occasions whilst I still lived with them. Money involved was around £200-£300 each time. They funded my sister's first car (a new model) for her.

When I moved out to my own place and lived alone, they once gave me some money when my boiler packed in and needed replacing.

They paid for my wedding ceremony abroad and my dress but from marrying 18 years ago and having kids, nothing until the last couple of months, when Mum has slipped me £20 on two occasions and bought me a spare iron. This is because I lost my job a few months ago and I had some unexpected expenses arise which normally my wages would have covered.

My IL's can barely afford to support themselves, so have never received anything from them. Oh, have just remembered we did once. We were on holiday in France and it had been a bit of a nightmare with the long car journey and the kids. Whist there FIL got 5 numbers on the lottery and won £2K. He paid for us to stay an additional night in a hotel to make the journey back a bit easier.

As for my children. We saved in a bank account (not huge amounts) with the idea that once they were at a certain life stage and needed something for the next step, there was money available for them to access. We recently made 16yo son aware of it and he used some of the money along with birthday money to buy a new computer. He wants to study and work in the area of I.T so we were happy for some to be put to this use.

Not sure what we'll do when it gets to DD as her current chosen career path is one where funding for the student can be an issue.

onlyroz

Yes I've borrowed money from my parents to help with things like house deposits, car purchases etc, but I've always paid it back. I'm currently paying my mum £400 a month to cover a loan to pay for double glazing. I expect it'll be paid back by the end of the year.

Tigsteroonie

onlyroz wrote: »

Yes I've borrowed money from my parents to help with things like house deposits, car purchases etc, but I've always paid it back. I'm currently paying my mum £400 a month to cover a loan to pay for double glazing. I expect it'll be paid back by the end of the year.

Alternatively you could have saved that money for a year, and then bought the double glazing once you had saved up the money. Not that I'm particularly picking on you, onlyroz It was an appropriate post to quote for my thoughts.

There seems to have been a shift over the last 30 years from saving up + then buying, to borrowing + buying + repaying. Was the change caused by easy access to credit in the 80s, to now be replaced with borrowing from anywhere people can (including parents)? Does anybody now save up for things?

:dance: I want it all, and I want it now :dance:

onlyroz

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Alternatively you could have saved that money for a year, and then bought the double glazing once you had saved up the money. Not that I'm particularly picking on you, onlyroz It was an appropriate post to quote for my thoughts.

There seems to have been a shift over the last 30 years from saving up + then buying, to borrowing + buying + repaying. Was the change caused by easy access to credit in the 80s, to now be replaced with borrowing from anywhere people can (including parents)? Does anybody now save up for things?

:dance: I want it all, and I want it now :dance:

Yes of course I could have done that. However, I can afford the repayments and my parents can afford to lend me the money. I would do the same for my own children in the future without hesitation.

As for the "change" in perception towards debt, I think this is almost inevitable considering the rising cost of housing, and rising levels of student debt.

The entire economy is built on debt and as long as you don't borrow more than you can comfortably repay it is not always a bad thing.

GwylimT

No, I prefer earning what I have and wouldn't accept money from someone else. My parents have always offered during house buying, uni, car buying and I have always said no.

My brother however will accept whatever he is offered, its sad really as he doesn't appreciate it and now my parents are in the position where they give him money as they are scared that if they stop he will get into debt. They have been giving him thousands each year for about ten years!

Pollycat

onlyroz wrote: »

As for the "change" in perception towards debt, I think this is almost inevitable considering the rising cost of housing, and rising levels of student debt.

I think it's because of this:

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

:dance: I want it all, and I want it now :dance:

As this ^^^ poster says, nobody seems to save for anything anymore.
It's all 'let's put it on the credit card or sign a credit agreement'.

onlyroz wrote: »

The entire economy is built on debt and as long as you don't borrow more than you can comfortably repay it is not always a bad thing.

and that attitude is fine but you only have to hop over to the DFW board to realise that that isn't the way it works.

And even if you do only borrow what you can comfortably afford to repay, who knows what is round the next corner.
How many BHS employees took debt on assuming that they could comfortably afford to repay until it was paid off?

onlyroz

Pollycat wrote: »

and that attitude is fine but you only have to hop over to the DFW board to realise that that isn't the way it works.

And even if you do only borrow what you can comfortably afford to repay, who knows what is round the next corner.
How many BHS employees took debt on assuming that they could comfortably afford to repay until it was paid off?

I think it's a bit unfair to lump all people who borrow money together. Sure some people overburden themselves but there are plenty more who borrow sensibly.

For example, few businesses would be able to expand and few would be able to buy a house or go to university if they weren't able to borrow money. The trick is reining in irresponsible lenders and ensuring that proper checks are made on people and organisations that want to borrow.

Pollycat

onlyroz wrote: »

I think it's a bit unfair to lump all people who borrow money together. Sure some people overburden themselves but there are plenty more who borrow sensibly.

For example, few businesses would be able to expand and few would be able to buy a house or go to university if they weren't able to borrow money. The trick is reining in irresponsible lenders and ensuring that proper checks are made on people and organisations that want to borrow.

I didn't think I was lumping all people who borrow money together.

Even if the 'trick' works, the 'plenty more who borrow sensibly' can still find themselves on the wrong end of debt through no fault of their own.

onlyroz

Pollycat wrote: »

I didn't think I was lumping all people who borrow money together.

Even if the 'trick' works, the 'plenty more who borrow sensibly' can still find themselves on the wrong end of debt through no fault of their own.

Yes, I'm sure they can, but most won't. It's like saying "even people who drive sensibly can still find themselves in a car accident through no fault of their own". Should we all stop driving?