Bank of mam and Dad,do you have you?

Frostycornett

My mum bought a house for myself and my daughter to live in, the area we lived in was horrible. We paid rent (just enough to cover the mortgage) and I'm very grateful, she wanted to give me the equity once she sold it to put towards my new house, but that would have been a step to far imo.
I do my bit for her now that I'm in a position to, no hi much just replace white goods for her etc.....swings and roundabout.....and I will gladly help my kids when it's their time to leave home

comeandgo

With our families each generation seems to have more money than previous generation. We had no help from our parents, didn't need it, we had enough with our own earnings, and our kids have had no help, other than when they were at university, bought their groceries when we visited and slipped them the odd £100.

lady1964

We've not really had any financial help from my parents, although they've been kind enough to gift us £1,000 once or twice which we've used for a holiday.

When my DD1 was at Uni, we paid her rent &took her food shopping when we visited. DD2 we gave her a fair size chunk of money towards her wedding & have loaned her & SIL money on a couple of occasions, which they've paid back in full. DD3 we've loaned her money to help her start her own business, which she's in the process of paying back.

We're happy to loan our DD's money as we know we will get it back. They all work hard & are trying to make their way in life.

SmlSave

Yes, both families have helped us out. The in-laws say pay us back when you can then demand the money with a weeks notice. Mine charges 3% interest.

We're not in any financial difficulties though, I'm sure they'd help without a thought if we were.

I plan to charge my kids rent when they start working, to hopefully start good habits early. We'll buy them their first cars, pay what we can for university and no doubt help if we can when they marry, buy a house etc

Tigsteroonie

It's only in very recent years that my parents have been in a situation to offer a role as a 'Bank', so I certainly went through 20s & 30s with no recourse to Bank of Mum & Dad.

Now they can offer, but I don't like to use, it's admitting that something has failed in my life and that I need bailing out - I just cannot say that , I'm too proud I think I'm in debt with them to the tune of £2k which was to buy a car five years ago.

They have however offered to help financially with therapy and respite for our littl'un. Once we have exhausted all routes to get that provided by funded means, we may well ask for their help.

Happier_Me

I'm 41, DH 40. We were gifted £3k when my grandma died 8 years ago and my mum and dad paid for my driving lessons when I was 17. They also paid for a hotel room for us last year to attend a family wedding, not that we need the financial help, but they paid for my brother (to ensure he turned up, I think) and my mum is of the mindset that you can't treat one without the other. I accepted to avoid arguments but it does make me feel uncomfortable.

No help in terms of house deposits, buying first cars and university fees etc. My mum and dad just couldn't afford and I certainly didn't expect any help when I was younger.

Now we have children of our own, the plan is to save a healthy lump sum to gift to them when the time is right.

Maz

God, my parents could just about live themselves so asking them for help wasn't an option and something that never even came up in conversation! It was all down to us as indviduals, there was no parental assistance!

Keep_pedalling

Once we die, most of what we have left will go to our children, but it is nice to give before then as we get to see our money but to good use. Like a lot of the Boomer generation we are far better off than our parents were, and living in one of the most expensive areas in the country, our kids are at a far greater disadvantage than we were at their age.

Seems only fair to level that up if you can so we have, by wiping out student loans and gifting substantial amounts for house deposits. It helps that had we hung on to that money 40% would have gone on IHT, and providing we hang on for a few more months, it wont.

foolofbeans

Mum has gifted money on occasions and given cars or sold them to us at well below market value.
We have borrowed money at times and this is usually done with a specific date to pay back which we have adhered to.
We also loaned money to mum back in the day but she is in quite a good financial position now so she manages well.
We have loaned money to eldest child but since they started uni it is a gift not loan. Minimal amounts although I would like to give more but our debt prevents us.

thorsoak

Our parents helped us when we married - OH's parents paid our legal fees when we bought our first house, and my parents paid for our wedding and gave us furniture etc. As our children grew to adulthood, we helped with deposits etc, and loaned cash as and when necessary - all of which has been repaid.

I'm no longer in a position to help them - but they now no longer need help and they are now checking that I can afford things (which, at the moment I can :-) )