Lying about money

peachyprice

hidden_sacrifice wrote: »

So it's not that I don't trust him with his own money but when it affects our finances as we are quite tight at the moment, having recently paid for our wedding, I don't want us to be short changed.

How is his mother giving him money over what has been spent out of your joint account shortchanging you?

I would be absolutely livid if my mother gifted me some money and me OH then expected me to hand it over to him.

hidden_sacrifice

LilElvis wrote: »

Because the first two words of your initial post were "My partner" and (usually) those who are married would use the word "husband". A pretty reasonable assumption to make.

peachyprice wrote: »

So how much did you actually spend on petrol? Was it nearer £70, or was it nearer £200? Why would you assume that anything over what you'd actually spent should go into the pot?

Maybe his mum said 'Here's £70 for your petrol money, and I've given you a little extra for yourself'.

I don't know how much we spent. It costs around £70 to get there and back but we went out a few times while we were there and we didn't fill up just before and after to cost it accurately, I'm not saying that she didn't give him some extra for himself but £70 was plucked of thin air, I had assumed it was because that's how much she had transferred. But if you read my next list about the engagement ring, perhaps you would understand why I am dubious.

LilElvis

hidden_sacrifice wrote: »

Fair enough but recently married, still sounds strange to me when I say husband. But the law states that cohabiting couples have the same financial rights as a married couple once they have been living together for 12 months so it wouldn't have changed the situation.

Totally untrue.

hidden_sacrifice

peachyprice wrote: »

How is his mother giving him money over what has been spent out of your joint account shortchanging you?

I would be absolutely livid if my mother gifted me some money and me OH then expected me to hand it over to him.

Because what we spent from our joint account should have been paid back. Rather than taking 2 lines from the post, take the whole thing into consideration here. A couple of years ago we were down £100 because he lied about how much my ring cost which we used our joint account to pay for.

Homeownertobe

hidden_sacrifice wrote: »

Fair enough but recently married, still sounds strange to me when I say husband. But the law states that cohabiting couples have the same financial rights as a married couple once they have been living together for 12 months so it wouldn't have changed the situation.

No, it really doesn't.

Georgiegirl256

hidden_sacrifice wrote: »

Fair enough but recently married, still sounds strange to me when I say husband. But the law states that cohabiting couples have the same financial rights as a married couple once they have been living together for 12 months so it wouldn't have changed the situation.

That is not true whatsoever.

My Mam will often give me some money to treat myself with, and I don't feel the need to declare it to my husband.

Georgiegirl256

hidden_sacrifice wrote: »

Because what we spent from our joint account should have been paid back. Rather than taking 2 lines from the post, take the whole thing into consideration here. A couple of years ago we were down £100 because he lied about how much my ring cost which we used our joint account to pay for.

I've read the post about your engagement ring, but I fail to see how you were £100 down?

cte1111

I had small little lies like this from my ex-partner. It was part of a general picture of someone who was comfortable with small lies. I'm not comfortable with someone lying to me like this, it's an abuse of trust IMHO.

OP - you should talk to your partner about this. I'm betting he will make up some excuse, you'll feel uncomfortable with it but let it go and he will do the same over and over again whenever he can get away with it.

cte1111

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I've read the post about your engagement ring, but I fail to see how you were £100 down?

He lied and told his fiancee that the engagement ring had cost £500 rather than £400 and spent the rest of the money on whatever he fancied. How is that not being £100 down? Perhaps that £100 would have meant some extra guests at their wedding, or the OP not having to do a week's worth of overtime?

LilElvis

hidden_sacrifice wrote: »

Because what we spent from our joint account should have been paid back. Rather than taking 2 lines from the post, take the whole thing into consideration here. A couple of years ago we were down £100 because he lied about how much my ring cost which we used our joint account to pay for.

Shouldn't this lack of trust have been resolved before you got married? Why haven't you spoken to your husband about the mystery money? Why does it matter which bank account the petrol money is in as long as it is in one of them. Perhaps he thought it a faff to transfer the "petrol money" to the joint account and decided it would be just as easy to use his personal account next time the car needs refuelling, therefore having the same effect.