Lying about money

System

Why dont you just say you saw his statement because it was lying on the side but ask him why he didnt tell you that his Mum had given him £200 instead of £70?

Still, who are you to question a gift that his Mum had given him?

boliston

I'd hate the idea of having to account to my partner what I do with my own money. As long as joint costs (food, bills etc) are split fairly then I can't see what the problem is.

LilElvis

lizzy85 wrote: »

I think you should ask about the paper lying on the kitchen. Yeah, you are his wife and he should be telling you everything. Its your right.

Just as well I'm not married to you! If I had to explain every penny of my expenditure then I would be boring the pants off my husband for several hours a week as my monthly credit card bill runs to 4 pages (minimum). I don't even tell him about what I have charged to his cards if it's just run of the mill stuff. It's called trust - a relationship can never work without it.

hidden_sacrifice

Okay, just to clear a few things up. First of all, we are married, so not sure why someone assumed we weren't but that's not really relevant here. Secondly, I know he doesn't have to tell me if his mum has treated him but as I said originally, his mum hasn't said how much she was giving us and she only used his account because it was easier than setting up a new payee, if it had gone unto our joint account then it would all have been ours. And finally, we don't ask for petrol money from parents. They live far away and asked if we would visit them on the weekend and we were really tight with money so said we couldn't afford to so she offered to pay for the petrol.

FBaby

if it had gone unto our joint account then it would all have been ours

I'm confused as to why you are assuming this? Surely it didn't cost £200 in petrol to visit them? So it sounds like he wasn't lying when he said that his mum gave both of you £70 for petrol, he just omitted to say that she also gave him £140, the reason for which you don't know. Why would you assume she'd give both of you more money than just petrol?

LilElvis

hidden_sacrifice wrote: »

First of all, we are married, so not sure why someone assumed we weren't

Because the first two words of your initial post were "My partner" and (usually) those who are married would use the word "husband". A pretty reasonable assumption to make.

hidden_sacrifice

FBaby wrote: »

I'm confused as to why you are assuming this? Surely it didn't cost £200 in petrol to visit them? So it sounds like he wasn't lying when he said that his mum gave both of you £70 for petrol, he just omitted to say that she also gave him £140, the reason for which you don't know. Why would you assume she'd give both of you more money than just petrol?

No, it didn't cost that much, but it is unclear how much was intended for petrol. In the past she has done this for the same reason. It costs us around £70 to get there and back but she's given us £100 just in case. There was also the time a couple of years ago where he borrowed money to pay for my engagement ring (we agreed it would come out of our money but obviously he wanted it to be a surprise). He borrowed £500 from his mum but the ring only cost £400 but he spent the rest and told me it cost £500 so he would have enough to oak his mum back. It was only when I saw the receipt when we took it back to get our free replating that I found out.

So it's not that I don't trust him with his own money but when it affects our finances as we are quite tight at the moment, having recently paid for our wedding, I don't want us to be short changed.

peachyprice

hidden_sacrifice wrote: »

originally, his mum hasn't said how much she was giving us and she only used his account because it was easier than setting up a new payee, if it had gone unto our joint account then it would all have been ours.

So how much did you actually spend on petrol? Was it nearer £70, or was it nearer £200? Why would you assume that anything over what you'd actually spent should go into the pot?

Maybe his mum said 'Here's £70 for your petrol money, and I've given you a little extra for yourself'.

hidden_sacrifice

LilElvis wrote: »

Because the first two words of your initial post were "My partner" and (usually) those who are married would use the word "husband". A pretty reasonable assumption to make.

Fair enough but recently married, still sounds strange to me when I say husband. But the law states that cohabiting couples have the same financial rights as a married couple once they have been living together for 12 months so it wouldn't have changed the situation.

LilElvis

You've been stewing about this for at least two days, so have you actually spoken to him about it?

I don't understand how having additional money (the £130 over the petrol cost) "affects our finances", except in a positive way. He hasn't spent money, he's received it.