Lying about money

Goldiegirl

hidden_sacrifice wrote: »

My partner is lying about money. His mum said she would transfer some patrol money to us but did not say how much. Since she does not have our joint account details we thought it would be easier for her to transfer it to his account and then he could put it into our joint account. He said that she had given us £70 but it turns out she had given him £200. Now I only found out because his annual statement arrived in the post and he left it open on the kitchen counter. Should I confront him? His mum may well have offered him money to pay for something else but I'd rather he was honest. We put everything into our joint account and give ourselves a small allowance for personal spending. That's the only reason we still have a personal account.

Don't confront him, it sounds a bit aggressive and would make him defensive.


Can't you just ask him in a conversational way?

fabforty

I wouldn't say 'confront' him, but it does sound as if it's time for you both to sit down and discuss/agree your budgets and finances. Perhaps I view this differently to other posters, but to me, having to ask your parents for petrol money, is the thing that needs addressing not just the fact that he wasn't open about it.

Well_excuse_me.

You're not married, so money in his account is his business.
Thats why he has his own account.

Mojisola

hidden_sacrifice wrote: »

We put everything into our joint account and give ourselves a small allowance for personal spending. That's the only reason we still have a personal account.

Well_excuse_me. wrote: »

You're not married, so money in his account is his business.

Not if they've agreed to handle their money as a couple.

ChemistDude

Tap his phone and browse his internet history. Hire a Private Investigator or follow him (cheaper)

Pollycat

DesiBadBoy wrote: »

Tap his phone and browse his internet history. Hire a Private Investigator or follow him (cheaper)

That's the sort of advice somebody might suggest if there is a possibility that a partner may be cheating.

What is there in the OP's posts that leads you to that suspicion (because I can't see anything).

mark5

Op does your partner resent what the money is spent on or the amount he has left for himself?

Money was the biggest cause of arguments between my wife and myself for a long time, is every thing honestly split 50/50. A lot of women seem quite happy for the money coming in to be 50/50 but when it comes to a night out or takeaway they rarely pay 50/50.

peachyprice

fabforty wrote: »

Perhaps I view this differently to other posters, but to me, having to ask your parents for petrol money, is the thing that needs addressing not just the fact that he wasn't open about it.

I must admit I did assume they'd taken her somewhere in their car and she gave them the petrol money, not that they asked her for petrol money because they were short.

goodwithsaving

I'm probably missing the point here but consider this. If this was inheritance, would you assume you were entitled to 50% of his mother's money? We split bills 50:50 but retain our different incomes. Even if it was all in one pot, as it were, whatever is given to me (rather than "us") by my parents, is mine. Sometimes I use it to pay for a meal out for us, or towards an appliance for the house but the minute it became expected or the other person thought they were entitled to it, I'd think I was being taken forgranted a bit and think, you know what I'm going to treat myself. My relatives will specify whether it's for me to treat myself, or to help towards something in the house.

lizzy85

I think you should ask about the paper lying on the kitchen. Yeah, you are his wife and he should be telling you everything. Its your right.