Trying To Concieve

AnnieM_3

Hi guys,

I just wanted to post and get this lot off my chest...

I was so sure that this would be it this month. May Day was cd 15, and I thought it'd be really cool if I ov'd that day and got a bfp. However, 1 week later and AF appeared, so my cycle was only about 23/24 days. I was really worried it might be an early m/c - especially as I ~think~ that I might have had one after our first month of ttc, but I think it was actually just my cycle being messed up.

All this came a few days after a big row with OH, where he (again) said he felt like I only wanted him for his swimmers, mainly cos I had been working out dates for the whole May Day thing. He then relented, but I spent most of last week feeling upset and awkward about it.

So now I just feel totally miserable. Not pregnant and my cycle being wierd so I don't even know if I'm ov-ing. I don't know if I should seek advice from my doctor yet, or wait and see how next month goes. I'm under a lot of stress with work and other stuff which probably isn't helping...

Sorry for being so negative - just felt I needed to confide in someone who would understand.

AnnieM

jiblets1

Poor Annie, it's not nice when it all gets on top of you. It's easy to get carried away with all the technicalities of it all, and I don't think the men folk understand that part of it all. The doctors won't say anything other than just keep trying for at least a year unless you're a little older (I can't remember your circumstances, sorry), but if you think it'll make you feel better then just go. I went recently because I felt that my hormones were getting the better of me, and I found it comforting. Not because she particulary helped me with the ttc aspect, but because she told me that if I really felt it necessary, I could still have anti-depressants whilst ttc.
This just eased things for me, because I knew that if it got bad, it wouldn't be indefinate.

The only thing that seems to have helped my OH and I recently, is that we've managed to finally get over the "making ourselves" bit, and are actually enjoying the more frequent sex now. This means that I don't have to concentrate so much on the timing of it all. And it means that hubby knows he's also getting lots of sex that isn't baby-related. I know it can be easier said than done, I know, but here comes the "just relax" speech again... Well you fill in the blanks. I hope you feel better soon. Big hugs.

angeleyes

been tracking my cycle for past 3-4 months before starting to try,
1 month ago stopped using condoms,my cycles seem to be 23-24days long with period medium lasting 3-4 days, however tracking mycycle this month into day 27 had what i though period pains but still by day 3 no period (well not a usual one) I had a very faint spotting, so took pg test (was only a cheapo poundland packof three) and came up negitive when did i did it day 27,day day 28and 29,
Never have missed a period before so

1)do you think the pg test incorrect

2)if possible cycle up the wall (never has been before and not stressed or anything) how do I recalucate when ovulating again.
due to my calucations (and internet sites) i would be next fertile from tues13th may.


anyone help really confused

shelly

grandslamgirl wrote: »

Hiya,
I was due my AF on May 3rd and have taken 2 hpts which were negative. Yesterday i thought AF had arrived but was just spotting. How soon would i be able to get a blood test at docs? I don't want to waste their time but i know that i could be pg and that hpts are not always accurate so early on.
TIA
Sharon

How early did you do the tests? Were they on say the 4th and 5th? Do another one now if you done the previous 2 quite early. I'd tend to believe the result the test gave me at 9 days late.

I don't know about your docs but I know my docs don't tend to do tests themselves to confirm pg, they tend to just advise doing a HPT and go with that result.

Good Luck

shelly

angeleyes wrote: »

Never have missed a period before so

1)do you think the pg test incorrect

2)if possible cycle up the wall (never has been before and not stressed or anything) how do I recalucate when ovulating again.
due to my calucations (and internet sites) i would be next fertile from tues13th may.


anyone help really confused

How late are you? If more than a week I'd do another one and tend to believe the result.


Its amazing how even the slightest change in our minds can change our cycles. You might not be stressed as such but its now in the back of your mind that you are TTC, even if you don't conciously think about it our subconcious is a weird thing
You have never missed a period before or had it go up the wall but I assume you have never TTC before either.
Just slight changes in our subconcious can alter our cycles.
(well thats what I think anyway)

I have been TTC for 4 years now. No 2 months of AF are the same and if I convince myself I am pg my AF is late. If I don't think I am pg in any particular month AF is ontime.


Good Luck

shelly

My little update is.....

saw my consultant tonight for my 3 monthly smear. He said that as we hadn't fell pg naturally he is going to put us back in touch with the fertility doctor and try to get some treatment started

Hubby and I had a little talk about if NHS IVF fails (or any other treatment) how many times we would pay out to go private. Sometimes I don't think I could handle even 1 more loss, other days I think we will keep going until we get a baby in our arms.

There was talk 2 yrs ago about having a special blood test to see if we are genetically compatible. We are going to ask for that to be done first and foremost because if we aren't genetically compatible then we don't see any point in using NHS money, then our own only to have it fail again.

Miss_Penny_Pincher_2

thats great news shelly that you are going to be referred for treatment on NHS!

Do you know what the odds are of being genetically incompatible? I just ask because I haven't heard about it before. And have any couples who have been told they are not genetically compatible then gone on to conceive? If they have then perhaps you should still go for the IVF on the NHS because there could still be a chance? Whatever you decide we will support you

shelly

Miss_Penny_Pincher wrote: »

thats great news shelly that you are going to be referred for treatment on NHS!

Do you know what the odds are of being genetically incompatible? I just ask because I haven't heard about it before. And have any couples who have been told they are not genetically compatible then gone on to conceive? If they have then perhaps you should still go for the IVF on the NHS because there could still be a chance? Whatever you decide we will support you

I have no idea what the odds are against us not being compatible. It was mentioned 2 years ago by the fertility doc after the second mc but got forgotten about after the cancer diagnosis.
I'll do some research on it whilst we're waiting to see him and see what that throws up.


thanks for the support :A

redmel1621

AnnieM wrote: »

Hi guys,

I just wanted to post and get this lot off my chest...

I was so sure that this would be it this month. May Day was cd 15, and I thought it'd be really cool if I ov'd that day and got a bfp. However, 1 week later and AF appeared, so my cycle was only about 23/24 days. I was really worried it might be an early m/c - especially as I ~think~ that I might have had one after our first month of ttc, but I think it was actually just my cycle being messed up.

All this came a few days after a big row with OH, where he (again) said he felt like I only wanted him for his swimmers, mainly cos I had been working out dates for the whole May Day thing. He then relented, but I spent most of last week feeling upset and awkward about it.

So now I just feel totally miserable. Not pregnant and my cycle being wierd so I don't even know if I'm ov-ing. I don't know if I should seek advice from my doctor yet, or wait and see how next month goes. I'm under a lot of stress with work and other stuff which probably isn't helping...

Sorry for being so negative - just felt I needed to confide in someone who would understand.

AnnieM

Annie

Sorry to hear you are under stress at work, this definately won't help, and is probably the reason AF is behaving oddly!!

I know what you mean about OH, men can get a bit funny when they feel as tho they are being 'used' as a means to an end. I try not to discuss with dh TOO much about ttc or it tends to turn him off sex, whereas if I behave all horny/sexy more regurlarly he just feels as tho I 'want' him. ttc can put undue strain on relationships, and it is best just to try (as hard as it is) just concentrate on the two of you being happy. You can always make a mental note yourself when you are OV'ing and make sure he feels special around that time.

I know it probably all sounds a bit silly but we complain enough when we feel neglected or unloved/unwanted and men do have the same feelings. I know when I had my oldest dh accused me of loving the baby more and pushing him away.......

You don't say how long you've been trying?

Mel x

poppyjoe

shelly wrote: »

I have no idea what the odds are against us not being compatible. It was mentioned 2 years ago by the fertility doc after the second mc but got forgotten about after the cancer diagnosis.
I'll do some research on it whilst we're waiting to see him and see what that throws up.


thanks for the support :A

Hi Shelly

I was watching a tv programme about fertility and one of the couples on that were genetically incompatible. It had something to do with the couples DNA being too similar and the womans body was rejecting it and she had 4 or 5 mc. The couple on that had some kind of immunotherapy and conceived naturally within a few months. It is worth finding out more about this to see if it could be the answer.