Trying To Concieve

AnnieM_3

Morgan - don't worry, you haven't worried me. I was already concerned about it. There has been talk of planning expensive holidays for us all, and it's very awkward smiling and nodding, but thinking 'I'm not going to be able to afford it, and I may even be pg and unable to go anyway'!

Rosie - good luck to you too! And DINK(Y) is Double Income No Kids (Yet)

KentishLady

Rosie_Bud wrote: »

I had a chat with my DH and we have decided that I should tell my friend too, so gonna try and pluck up the courage to do it tomorrow.

Rosie Bud xx

Rosie Bud

I am currently trying to conceive, but have PCOS and realistically it may never happen for me. I have always been open with my friends at work that I probably couldn't have children.

My closest friend at work let me know when she started trying to conceive - and when she fell pregnant she told me before anyone else. I was really pleased she let me know - it gave me time to get used to the idea before she announced she was pregnant, and when she did get pregnant I had already moved on from any issues I may have had and we actually both enjoyed looking forward to the baby arriving, talking about names, scans, etc. I would have missed a lot of that if she hadn't let me know when she started ttc.

I guess what i am saying is that the fact you are thinking about telling her you are ttc, you are taking into account her feelings and (I know I was) she will be grateful for that. It also means that she can take as much a part (or as little a part) of the pregnancy as she wishes. I'm sure my friend was worried about telling me but this was the best thing she could have done - we ended up talking about the coming baby a lot lot more than we would have otherwise and I really enjoyed feeling involved.

KL.

GracieP

I think I might be cracking up. I've just had a bit of a break down/panic attack type thing where I ranted at my dh and smashed a plate.

The thing is I came home from my parent's house ready to try again but my dh says he doesn't feel ready yet. Logically I know he is perfectly entitled to need some time, that what has happened has hurt him too. But emotionally I can't handle it, I feel like he is being selfish and hurting me.

I just want us to be on the same page with this, and it feels lonely that we are in different places right now. I feel like I just really want to be pregnant again and I'm so angry with him for stopping me from being.

I know the reality is that I'm being selfish here, but it just feels like I'm being kicked when I'm down.

shelly

Oh gracie hun.....

I don't know what to say to make you feel better.

I know 100% how you are feeling after losing something so precious but (if you haven't already this evening) you really need to tell him how you are feeling and why.

shelly x

Sami_Bee

Aww Gracie I totally get what you mean, I'm sure hubby will understand too, he probably also feels a bit protective of you like if he doesn't get you pg again then you can't go through the pain of m/c again IYSWIM if you talk it through once you feel calmer you'll be bding in no time!
*hugs*

GracieP

He says that his fear is if we get pregnant again right away, 6 weeks from now we could be right back where we were 2 weeks ago. And I get how awful that would be, whatever feelings he had about the mc I had 10 times over. But I also know another mc would feel every bit as crap in 6 weeks or 6 months or 6 years. I honestly feel that the longer it takes for me to get pregnant the worse I'm going to feel.

5 weeks from now I will be thinking "I should be having my scan right now." At Christmas I'll be thinking we should be telling our family and friends. And god knows what I'll be thinking by May. But if I manage to get pg again I'll think a lot less about the first pregnancy. Sure I might mc again but we can't let that stop us. And the one thing I know for sure is that if I never get pg again I will never have a baby.

I was looking at this kids mag we got in the post and I thought something in it looked cute. I showed it to him, and he said "we will have a baby." But now I can't take comfort from that, because my mc isn't the only reason we aren't having a baby. He is.

I've told him everything I'm feeling, but he says he can't change what he is feeling. I'm so frustrated. The thing is I think I'm ovulating, it's taken me by surprise, because I wasn't really expecting to ovulate this month, and certainly not this weekend as I usually have a long cycle. And I feel like it's a 2nd chance which we're throwing away.

Eta; And I'm sure my hormones are all over the place too.

skintchick

gracie, I've read that it is better to allow one cycle between a mc and getting PG again, so maybe give your OH some space and plan on trying next month? I know you're hurting but so is he - he feels a failure cos he can;t help you and protect you or take away your pain and he doesn;t want to go through it all again in a few weeks. I think you have to try and respect that and focus on next month when you can try again and hopefully get a BFP. (((hugs)))

GracieP

skintchick wrote: »

gracie, I've read that it is better to allow one cycle between a mc and getting PG again, so maybe give your OH some space and plan on trying next month?

That's if you have a D&C or ERCP. I was "lucky" in that my mc happened early enough for me to have a natural miscarriage. So I'd be fairly safe to get pregnant now. I get the impression though that dh is thinking along the same lines as you.

Oh well, maybe I'm a twice a month ovulator and can get knocked up next week.:cool:

liloandstitch

GracieP wrote: »

I think I might be cracking up. I've just had a bit of a break down/panic attack type thing where I ranted at my dh and smashed a plate.

The thing is I came home from my parent's house ready to try again but my dh says he doesn't feel ready yet. Logically I know he is perfectly entitled to need some time, that what has happened has hurt him too. But emotionally I can't handle it, I feel like he is being selfish and hurting me.

I just want us to be on the same page with this, and it feels lonely that we are in different places right now. I feel like I just really want to be pregnant again and I'm so angry with him for stopping me from being.

I know the reality is that I'm being selfish here, but it just feels like I'm being kicked when I'm down.

GracieP, dont be so hard on yourself. Your hormones are still all over the place and you cant be expected to think straight! Give you and DH time to come to terms with what has happened, and keep talking to each other as much as you can you WILL come to terms with it although you will never forget it. I dont think men understand the almost primeval urge we get to get pregnant - like you, all I wanted was be be pregnant again, or better still, still have the baby I lost. It does get easier! You many find that the anger and rage you feel is the hormones not settling down yet - I threw a phone through my front room window whilst under the influence of hormones - the trouble was as soon as it had left my hand I regretted it, and then had to explain to my dh why I had done it - I felt a little silly saying that it was because he had said that he would be a few minutes late home!!

Take care of yourself, and talk anytime - Lilo

GracieP

liloandstitch wrote: »

I threw a phone through my front room window whilst under the influence of hormones - the trouble was as soon as it had left my hand I regretted it, and then had to explain to my dh why I had done it - I felt a little silly saying that it was because he had said that he would be a few minutes late home!!

Thanks. I may show this to the dh.:D