large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

missbiggles1

onlyroz wrote: »

Are you being serious? Your husband would have "spoiled things for everybody" if he hadn't ordered the same number of courses as you? And to do otherwise is impolite and unthoughtful? I'll tell that to my dad next time we eat out - he's only got half a stomach and I'm sure he'll have a great laugh when I tell him he's spoiling our evening unless he orders a full three-course banquet.

Well, since my husband's dead now, I can't tell him you disapprove of his sensibilities but everybody we knew admired his courage and his desire to carry on as normal for as long as he could, so I doubt he'd be much bothered what you think.

And since when has a perfectly normal 3 course meal become a banquet, anyway?

missbiggles1

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Well good, I'm glad he enjoyed them. However, you made it sound like he only did it to be what you deem socially acceptable.

It saddens me to think that if he hadn't have fancied say a starter, you and your friends would have though he was not polite and that he had spoiled things for all of you. Very sad attitude to life I'm sad to say.

Oh - behave! It's what he thought, not what anybody else would think, of course!

onlyroz

missbiggles1 wrote: »

And since when has a perfectly normal 3 course meal become a banquet, anyway?

I know many many people who can't manage a three-course meal. I can't remember the last time I had one. But the great thing about eating out is that you get a choice about the number of courses you order. I wasn't aware until now that it mattered at all how many you had.

springdreams

missbiggles1 wrote: »

It's not a question of eating less food and certainly not to do with eating something cheaper. I'd just be embarrassed to sit eating nothing while everybody else was enjoying things, trying each others' dishes and talking about the food and I think most people would be as well. Obviously, some people don't mind being left out of things like that but it doesn't seem to me to be a pleasant situation.

(And I don't drink alcohol during Lent but that doesn't mean I sit and have a glass of tap.)

To me you are the one that is odd. I don't feel embarrassed because I don't have food in front of me whilst others may. And the people I dine with certainly don't think less of me because I am not constantly stuffing my face. Some people eat faster than others. Should the fast eater order something else so that she/he still has food in front of them whilst their slower eating companion finishes up their meal?

I think it is extremely wasteful to order food that you know you cannot finish. Money doesn't grow on trees. People have to work hard for their money. To then use it to pay for a meal that you haven't then eaten is a shameful waste of both the food and the money. There are people who are having to go without food, whilst some people are binning excess food that they didn't need to order in the first place.

And I do go to a restaurant to socialise with my friends and family, finish up my meal in a reasonable amount of time to free up the table for other people who are waiting to dine, and then go home. I don't feel the need to spend hours in a restaurant.

onlyroz

PasturesNew wrote: »

I've never talked about the food I'm eating, beyond the basics of "this tastes nice" ... as for people trying each others' dishes.... I'm afraid I'm in the camp of "I ordered this because I wanted it; if you wanted it you should've ordered it."

I think this depends on how well you know your fellow diners. I wouldn't think twice about asking for a spoonful of my husband's meal if I thought it looked tasty. And sometimes we'll split the meals so that we both get half of two dishes - or perhaps order a starter to share if we'd like to give it a try but don't want to fill up too much.

However, I wouldn't do this with a work colleague, or at a business dinner, or with a group of people I didn't know so well.

pigpen

missbiggles1 wrote: »

trying each others' dishes

that would mean losing your arm in my family!!! ... disgusting practice.. one does not touch anothers food.. ever!! I wouldn't take my partners food and he knows better.. if someone stole some of my food from my plate I would not eat the rest.. absolutely not a bite.


The only comments made about the food are usually if it is nasty... we have far more interesting things to talk about!

We are all major greedy so have 3 courses.. when my elderly nanna was alive we would split her bill with everyone else.. regardless of what she ate or how much. I'm pretty much the only one that doesn't drink.

We usually round up what each has eaten.. we add up our own.. round up to the nearest £1 as a tip and pay that.. each pays for their own children.. sometimes my mother will chip in a bit for mine but rarely and I would never expect it!

Foxriver8

The two different things I am getting from this thread are

1) people who are on v tight budgets, are happy to go out, order just a main and a water (or whatever) because it's all they can afford. As stated previously, in situations like this I am happy to pay for a friend - over the course of a lifetime things like this even themselves out.

And:

2) People who have a bee in their bonnet about "subsidising others". Whilst technically, yes, OK, why should you, I find it a bit mean spirited and not really in keeping with the whole spirit of the thing.

onlyroz

Foxriver8 wrote: »

2) People who have a bee in their bonnet about "subsidising others". Whilst technically, yes, OK, why should you, I find it a bit mean spirited and not really in keeping with the whole spirit of the thing.

The ones who think it's "mean spirited" not to split the bill are often the ones who start the meal with a fancy cocktail, order three courses, neck back a bottle of wine or two to themselves, and then order a liqueur coffee at the end of the meal. They then get all huffy when the vegetarian designated driver only wants to pay for their mushroom stroganoff and diet coke.

onlyroz

pigpen wrote: »

that would mean losing your arm in my family!!! ... disgusting practice.. one does not touch anothers food.. ever!! I wouldn't take my partners food and he knows better.. if someone stole some of my food from my plate I would not eat the rest.. absolutely not a bite.

So you wouldn't eat a communal meal then? E.g. Chinese or Indian, or a buffet?

missbiggles1

pigpen wrote: »

that would mean losing your arm in my family!!! ... disgusting practice.. one does not touch anothers food.. ever!! I wouldn't take my partners food and he knows better.. if someone stole some of my food from my plate I would not eat the rest.. absolutely not a bite.


The only comments made about the food are usually if it is nasty... we have far more interesting things to talk about!

You don't take it off someone else's plate - you offer them a taste on your fork - you must've seen people leaning forward and doing this?