large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

duchy

When eating out in a group in Indian or Chinese restaurants it isn't uncommon to eat "family style" with lots of different mains and everyone has a bit of this and a bit of that (although obviously there are serving spoons and not a fort someone has already put in their mouth (the fork sharing thing is simply gross ). It's a good way to try out different dishes without risking ordering a main for the first time you might not like .

(It also makes splitting the bill easier )

PasturesNew wrote: »

I've eaten in a chinese restaurant about 3x. You order your food, it comes, you eat it. Indians I've had more of, you order your food, it comes, you eat it.

As for a buffet - you walk along and load your plate up, and eat it.

If stuff were put on the table and everybody helped themselves I'd run out of food to eat as there are some people who eat anything and others (like me) who will only eat a couple of things.

I'm not fussy, I just don't like my food ponced about with and, increasingly, modern menus are full of weird stuff I've never heard of, or things I don't like, all in the name of "gastro". I'm scanning down to look for a pie!

Foxriver8

coolcait wrote: »

I choose not to split the bill.

Those of a nervous disposition may wish to look away now.

I am that person who:

- orders exactly what she wants to eat, even when it's the most expensive thing on the menu

- orders as many courses as she is capable of eating (that's a fair capacity)

- has an aperitif, wine with the meal, a digestif and/or a liqueur coffee

- talks about the food while eating it

- invites others to try her meal if it is particularly good

- accepts, with alacrity, invitations to try others' food.

At some point in the evening - which may be when the bill comes, or may be at the start of the evening, or may be when I'm ordering my third course - I'll make it clear that I'll be getting a separate bill for what I've had to eat and drink.

My declarations will be accompanied by a variety of self-deprecating (or honest :rotfl:) statements about my gluttony and tendency to be bibulous.

There are usually a few murmurs of the 'no one minds/we're happy to split the bill' ilk. But there's no real resistance to the idea that I pay my own gluttonous, bibulous way.

Rightly so.

As a result, I tend to see these 'split the bill' discussions as an indictment of those who - like me - have gluttonous and bibulous tendencies, but - unlike me - aren't willing to pay for those tendencies in cold, hard cash.

Loved your post :rotfl:

Although I do disagree worn he last paragraph - I am a "split the biller" but as I am starting to realise, and as alluded to in my last post, my friends/family/colleagues are (I'm starting to realise) pretty like minded in this regard and no one takes the p1ss. From the sounds of a lot of ppls posts they are dining with ppl who seem very greedy and tight, which is not a good combo.

Most ppl I know eat and drink reasonably and are content to split the bill. For that, I am grateful as from the sounds of it there are some right horrors out there.

And as to the question of how to deal with it - personally I wouldn't be eating out with these people again if they ate and drank in the quantities mentioned and then expected to split the bill when it's incredibly clear it's not fair. I have been lucky enough not to come across anyone like that; must take some balls to do that!

duchy

I think you've either being incredibly lucky ...or the wine was so good that you didn't notice. I think most people have come across these kind of bill splitters (hopefully only once - but fear of others thinking they are being tight or meanspirited will often stop them from speaking out if every one else is appearing to either not notice or not mind)

Foxriver8

onlyroz wrote: »

I don't think anybody has suggested calculating what you've eaten to the penny, or having arguments over how many olives you had, or whether you took any garlic bread or not.

I imagine most people would be happy with a rough estimate of what they'd had rounded to (say) the nearest fiver, and then throw in an extra few quid for a tip. That way you can order whatever you want, whether that's a single course or three courses plus wine and coffee, without having to worry about what the bill will come to.

Some of the posters are suggesting calculating to the penny as their point is that they "will not subsidise others".

As I've said, technically, yes, OK, why should they. Personally, I would.

If a friend and I are out for dinner, each have soup to start, then pasta. I have a soda water and lime, she has a wine. She has a £4 pudding, I have nothing. When the bill comes, it will be split down the middle, I would "subsidise" her wine and pudding. And I wouldn't think anything of it.

I would maybe even steal a bite of her pudding *shock horror* LOL

If the above was reversed and I had the wine and pudding, I would offer to chip in s bit more, she would probably refuse.

In the situation that others are talking about where it's not really a friend but a situation / effort to get out more and meet people, if I had the money I would definitely just split the bill. If I was on a really tight budget, I don't know, I guess it's a tough one.

Although - in ten situation someone was talking about where it was in a bid to meet new ppl / make new friends etc, how about the "I'll get this; you can pay next time"? Might be a solution and a way to meet up again and start a friendship? :beer:

onlyroz

PasturesNew wrote: »

I did, once, go out with my sister, many years ago... probably the first time we ever ate out together. I ordered an indian curry and rice and ate it all. She ordered a curry, rice, onion bhajis, naan bread, bombay potatoes, bhindi bhaji and something else .... and left 80% of it! Then she had ice cream and we split the bill .... I'd have not minded if she'd eaten everything she ordered, it seemed such a complete waste of money!

Apparently it's far more polite to order loads of food and leave most of it than it is to order just what you want to eat and finish it all :rotfl:. If you do the former then you're getting into the spirit of things. If you do the latter then you're spoiling everybody's fun. Apparently...

onlyroz

Foxriver8 wrote: »

Some of the posters are suggesting calculating to the penny as their point is that they "will not subsidise others".

As I've said, technically, yes, OK, why should they. Personally, I would.

If a friend and I are out for dinner, each have soup to start, then pasta. I have a soda water and lime, she has a wine. She has a £4 pudding, I have nothing. When the bill comes, it will be split down the middle, I would "subsidise" her wine and pudding. And I wouldn't think anything of it.

I would maybe even steal a bite of her pudding *shock horror* LOL

If the above was reversed and I had the wine and pudding, I would offer to chip in s bit more, she would probably refuse.

In the situation that others are talking about where it's not really a friend but a situation / effort to get out more and meet people, if I had the money I would definitely just split the bill. If I was on a really tight budget, I don't know, I guess it's a tough one.

Although - in ten situation someone was talking about where it was in a bid to meet new ppl / make new friends etc, how about the "I'll get this; you can pay next time"? Might be a solution and a way to meet up again and start a friendship? :beer:

It all depends on who you're eating with and how big the disparity is between amounts. I personally wouldn't quibble over an extra pudding, but I would be uncomfortable splitting equally if it was obvious somebody had eaten significantly more or less than everybody else. We had a "friend" who necked an entire bottle of wine and three courses, and then announced that they'd "lost their wallet". This friend never got invited out for a meal again, even though we'd often meet for drinks on a saturday afternoon. We had to start lying about our intentions to eat out because we knew they'd just free-load off us, as they had on a number of occasions up to the "lost my wallet" night.

One of the biggest problems I have encountered is evening meals involving work colleagues. The ability of some people to pack away huge amounts of food and drink never ceases to amaze me. I would often end up at the end of the night totally bemused over why I was being asked to contribute £40-50 when I had only eaten around £15-20 worth of food myself. I just couldn't justify this expenditure but as I was one among around 15 people I didn't feel able to pipe up. In the end I just stopped going along.

And my husband and dad often bring up my brother's stag night. They went for the "let's put some money into a kitty" thing - hubby and dad ended up putting about £30 into this kitty each but only had a drink each (hubby because he was driving and dad because he hardly drinks). So my brother and his mates had a great time at other people's expense. Nice.

SingleSue

Pollycat wrote: »

On a slightly different topic - does everyone check their bill before paying?

A friend of mine went to a steakhouse with 3 friends the other evening (we don't live anywhere posh) & they were overcharged by £75.:eek:
To put it in perspective, it should have been £125 so 60% too much.
When they pointed it out, they didn't even get an apology. She said the way the bill was printed, it didn't look like a mistake.

We check the bill but usually just to make sure they've not missed anything off but obviously we'd also pick up on any overcharge.

Also - tipping etiquette: we usually pay by credit card & you're given an option to add a tip but we always decline & leave a cash tip in the hope it gets to the staff rather than the owners.

All the time and have picked up a fair few mistakes that way too. Think one of the biggest mistakes was at the Disneyland hotel, there was me and the 3 boys and they had (somehow) charged for 3 adult and 4 childrens meals!

pigpen

onlyroz wrote: »

So you wouldn't eat a communal meal then? E.g. Chinese or Indian, or a buffet?

absolutely not.. ever... buffets I eat before I go..

missbiggles1 wrote: »

You don't take it off someone else's plate - you offer them a taste on your fork - you must've seen people leaning forward and doing this?

yes it makes me gag watching it happen.. that is even worse.. their gobscrottle on your fork which your are going to put IN YOUR MOUTH!!!! .. OMFG... I would stab their eyeballs out with said fork!

Foxriver8 wrote: »

I find this very odd. How does a friend "stealing" something off your plate affect the rest of your food? Is it in case they've touched it? Do you find your friends / family that repulsive? :eek:

You would honestly just sit there and refuse to eat your dinner and when they asked why you'd say "because you stole a chip" ? :rotfl:

Yes I would, I have and I would be absolutely utterly furious with them... I simply walk out.. I don't even say a word.. if they want my food that bad.. they can have it all and pay for it.. If I had finished eating and left some they would be welcome to it.. but noone touches my food! If they want what I had they should have ordered it.. I am very very limited on choices of what I can eat and for someone to take that away would be the end.

I have issues with food at the best of times.. My OH made cookies and rice krispie cakes with our 3 little ones a couple of days ago.. I can't even try one.

I wouldn't eat it if the table staff brought it over with a digit on my plate, I take my own cutlery, I only go to takeaways where I can watch them cook my food..

SingleSue

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Well I wasn't actually thinking of 'groups of random strangers', nor was I thinking of casts of thousands, more like nine or ten friends and/or family. If we all went out to eat that would be great, but if people just wanted to talk then we can do that just as easily in the living room (although we only have permanent seating for five, some garden chairs could be deployed quite easily).

I don't know, perhaps it's me, I really do not see the point in going to a restaurant if you are not going to eat. I'll leave it there (again!) apart from to say I wouldn't go out to eat with strangers unless it was something like a wedding reception, so the scenario you propose would not arise.

You'd struggle to fit 9 for dinner in my lounge...we used to just about be able to manage me, ex hubby, his mum and our 3 small boys but it was a tight squeeze (and a pain in the bum trying to walk the table through from the kitchen - there was not a hope in hell of us fitting in the kitchen!)

Having a main meal and nothing else is still eating, some of us can't always manage anything else without it making us ill but boy do I enjoy that main course and on occasions, I will risk another course but I am prepared to pay the consequences for doing so. Luckily, the people I tend to eat with also prefer just a main course with an occasional additional course although we were all little piggies on Mothers day and had 3 courses (and paid for it health wise later)

Blooming nice it was too!

Georgiegirl256

duchy wrote: »

Well I want to go out to dinner with Georgie

The rest of you are bonkers !!!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I'll sometimes have two starters rather than a starter and a main -just because it's what I fancy from the menu ........and if the wine list is full of pretentious not very good wine - I'll wash it down with sparkling water....... None of my friends are offended by this whether they drink like fish themselves -as some of them do .....or don't drink at all for health or religious reasons ....as some of them do.

If someone had the nerve to tell me I was spoiling their evening because I had two starters instead of of a starter and a main - they'd be told to jog on by all and sundry - and not invited to join us the next time. It's not about the food it's about the company !

Where we going then?

I sometimes order two starters too. Sometimes there's so many appealing choices that I'll prefer them to the mains and so have a couple.

I don't mind the sharing the food thing if they're dishes in the middle of the table with individual spoons to serve, but can't abide the sharing off each other's plates or forks *shudder*

Foxriver, personally I wouldn't calculate exactly to the penny. I was talking about bigger differences.