large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

seven-day-weekend

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Well that's what we've been saying! Everyone pays their own share. I thought you'd said you were for splitting?

I have never said that, I've said pay for your own (unless agreed, informally or formally, otherwise).


I did say I don't know why you would bother going to a restaurant and then not eat much.

seven-day-weekend

Person_one wrote: »

I don't think PasturesNew needed you to say that, a bit unkind there SDW.

It was actually meant to be empathetic, but I'll delete it nevertheless. You need to delete yours too, with the quote in.

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

It's nothing to do with privilege - when I've been skint (a pretty frequent occurrence:o) I didn't eat out except for the occasional curry/Wetherspoons and invited friends round for a cheap meal. I didn't go out to good restaurants with better off friends and spoil their evening by ordering one cheap course and a glass of water.

That's just common sense and good manners.

So if a friend invited you to their already booked and planned birthday meal, at this new place they've been dying to try and are really looking forward to, and you looked at the menu and saw that you could just about swing it if you ordered the cheapest main only and drank water, you just wouldn't go?

missbiggles1

Person_one wrote: »

I don't think PasturesNew needed you to say that, a bit unkind there SDW.

Better than being patronised by you with comments about her mental health - now that really was unkind.

missbiggles1

PasturesNew wrote: »

Oh blimey, now there's posh!
I'll never go inside a Michelin star restaurant. I know that much.

I can see that for people for whom that is the norm/a possibility, then the odd £5 (or £40) here or there is irrelevant.... but for those of us whose food budgets in their entirety are about £10/week it's a major setback if we're stiffed unexpectedly by people who want to split the bill and increase our portion fourfold.

As for balancing out, I've always invariably eaten the cheapest meal whenever I've gone out anywhere ... and there is no "balance out" because I'm never/rarely ever with the same people at all.

I've no set group, no social circle, no people I've known for years, etc etc. Just random invites that occur once every 1-2 years with somebody that knows me and a bunch of other people they know and I'll never see again.

Not a regular occurrence though - high days and holidays only, as well as in France where good restarants are much cheaper than the UK.

seven-day-weekend

missbiggles1 wrote: »

It's nothing to do with privilege - when I've been skint (a pretty frequent occurrence:o) I didn't eat out except for the occasional curry/Wetherspoons and invited friends round for a cheap meal. I didn't go out to good restaurants with better off friends and spoil their evening by ordering one cheap course and a glass of water.

That's just common sense and good manners.

Thanks, that is how I (rightly or wrongly) feel too. We have been broke and I can remember my husband making fried onion sandwiches for casts of thousands. It was fun! You don't need to go out to a restaurant to have fun!

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Better than being patronised by you with comments about her mental health - now that really was unkind.

That was about MY mental health!

seven-day-weekend

Person_one wrote: »

So if a friend invited you to their already booked and planned birthday meal, at this new place they've been dying to try and are really looking forward to, and you looked at the menu and saw that you could just about swing it if you ordered the cheapest main only and drank water, you just wouldn't go?

I'd apologise and say I could not afford it. I have actually done a similar thing when we got invited to visit friends and we couldn't afford the fare to Jersey.

Person_one

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I'd apologise and say I could not afford it. I have actually done a similar thing when we got invited to visit friends and we couldn't afford the fare to Jersey.

But if you really wanted to go, wanted to see these people and share the special occasion that someone has cared enough to invite you to, would the fact that you'd have to eat a bit less than others really stop you?

Georgiegirl256

missbiggles1 wrote: »

. I didn't go out to good restaurants with better off friends and spoil their evening by ordering one cheap course and a glass of water.

That's just common sense and good manners.

Well all I can say is if you let something as innocent as that spoil your evening then I'd hate to see how you'd react if your friends really did something wrong or that you didn't agree with.

Personally I think it's sad that you'd feel a friend had spoiled your evening just by not eating much. Do you not enjoy them for their company?

I asked previously in the thread about what you would do if your friend(s) had an illness which diminished their appetite? Would you exclude them because they would spoil your evening? Seems pretty churlish to me and not what I would expect from a friend.