large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

mumps

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

It is a problem if your food cost £15 and you are too broke to pay up £5 for nothing. To some people that £5 would have been mentally kept to one side - as it was needed to buy food for the next day or two at home.

Very true, it changes with stages of life as well. When I was a young mum with a couple of kids I had to budget carefully for a meal out but friends who were single and living at home had much more money to spend. Ten years later my mortgage seemed small, I had no childcare costs and they had big mortgages and one income or two incomes with big childcare costs. The ones who annoyed me were the ones who were happy to spend my money when I had to count every penny but suddenly wanted to work out the bill to the last penny because it was OK for me and they needed to be careful.

seven-day-weekend

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

It is a problem if your food cost £15 and you are too broke to pay up £5 for nothing. To some people that £5 would have been mentally kept to one side - as it was needed to buy food for the next day or two at home. Some people really are that broke that they just can't afford to "throw money away" for nothing.

What? I meant we all paid for what we ate and then added a tip. I said £20 because that's usually what my share comes to. If it was £15 I'd have paid that. Why is that a problem?

If I'd only got £5 to feed the family with I wouldn't be eating out anyway.

moneyistooshorttomention

Very true - re different life stages and what one can afford at them.

I missed out on various social life things when I was at the Socialising Age group (ie looking out for boyfriend/hopefully husband) back in my 20s - because I couldnt afford them. That was precisely the age I needed money for socialising.

Now in my 60s - I can manage a reasonably price meal out (just paying for what I actually have) once in a while.

In my 70s - I should be financially straight (at long last....) and quite free to spend generously/frequently on my meals out.

That's one person's differing "stages of life". Yours were different. Others will be different again. It's not possible to even think of it as the norm for people generally to be financially straight at my age. One friend has a mortgage and needs to spend quite a bit of money on her house yet. Another one I can think of also needs to spend quite a bit of money on her house yet. We're all an agegroup where we expect to be sorted out financially - ie in our 60s currently. Whilst there will be other 60-somethings enjoying all sorts of luxuries we are still waiting for/resigned at not having (dependant on temperament).

You just never know - at any age - how well off (or otherwise) someone is. It's therefore not fair to spend their money for them.

I think those who "bill split" probably arent in that situation and have never been in it (yet....).

Person_one

silvercar wrote: »

Which is why agreeing beforehand on a restaurant within everyone's budget makes so much sense.

Unless you go somewhere where there is only one available price option (like a buffet/all you can eat) then that doesn't solve the issue of people ordering more/less but being expected to split evenly.

missbiggles1

PasturesNew wrote: »

That'd end up as the same person feeling forced into hosting every time just because they're the only ones with a house big enough for that number to fit into.

And don't forget - not everybody's eating out with friends or family .... and often, if there's an "invite out" somewhere people will potentially bring along others/mates/partners on a whim. So you never know who'll be there.

Also, going to somebody else's house might put some off for 101 reasons.



It's called being sociable and trying to get out and meet people. You meet strangers, then maybe after you've bumped into them a few times they might say "we're all going out on Friday - want to come?" and so you have to say "Yes", even though you've no idea who will be there at all.

Then, when you get there, the only person you know is the person you recently met.

It's how you're supposed to make friends.... meet people, accept offers, get out.

I tend to make friends (at work/in a hobby group) and then go out with them - not the other way round, but whatever floats your boat.:)

silvercar

Person_one wrote: »

Unless you go somewhere where there is only one available price option (like a buffet/all you can eat) then that doesn't solve the issue of people ordering more/less but being expected to split evenly.

In my social group, we wouldn't worry about that. Go out for a meal, bill arrives, a few cards put on the tray and the waiter is told to split it between all the cards.

missbiggles1

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

It is a problem if your food cost £15 and you are too broke to pay up £5 for nothing. To some people that £5 would have been mentally kept to one side - as it was needed to buy food for the next day or two at home. Some people really are that broke that they just can't afford to "throw money away" for nothing.

If somebody's that skint, why would they be going out for a meal in the first place?

missbiggles1

silvercar wrote: »

In my social group, we wouldn't worry about that. Go out for a meal, bill arrives, a few cards put on the tray and the waiter is told to split it between all the cards.

I think your group of friends sounds much like mine - all in a similar financial situation and with a similar attitude to eating out and what to spend on it.

seven-day-weekend

That's it, isn't it. We too tend to go out with people in a similar situation/mindset to us.

If there was someone in the group who genuinely couldn't afford it, then tbh, the rest of us would pay for theirs. I have paid for my unemployed friend before now.

Person_one

silvercar wrote: »

In my social group, we wouldn't worry about that. Go out for a meal, bill arrives, a few cards put on the tray and the waiter is told to split it between all the cards.

Yes, I get that it doesn't matter to you, but it does to others. Maybe even to some people you've eaten out with but didn't feel able to speak up.