large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

seven-day-weekend

Andypandyboy wrote: »

I think you are looking for problems where there are none. In this instance SDW's friend did not really want to go but had done but had done so reluctantly, it was an ordeal. It is for many who suffer from ED's, they would rather not eat out. They are not unwelcome and I don't think that anyone on the thread has said that anyone with any other medical condition would be either. Life is about difference and making allowances for it, especially for things peope have no control over.

However, we also have personal responsibility, and that means not going to place x if you would really rather not and then behave such that it is obvious to others that you are not enjoying it, or not going to place x if you don't want to do what the majority want to do, or not going to place x if you will simply moan that there is nothing on the menu you fancy or can afford. We all make choices and often those choices affect others, reasonable people accept that and try to mitigate that effect.

I never accept invitations to eat Chinese because I simply don't like it, I could go and just pick at my food but I don't think that is fair to the others on the table. A colleague hates fish but she accepted an invitation to a restaurant that primarily served fish, she ate something else but it was obvious that she hated fish from the way she covered her mouth when the plates arrived at the table and looked with disgust at what was on the plate of the diner next to her. It made for a uncomfortable evening for those eating closest to her but she was oblivious to it.

Another colleague is strict Vegan and every time we eat out as a team she has her dishes specially ordered ( the organiser is run ragged sorting out options for her that are acceptable) and then she proceeds to moan about what she has been given, and worse, make comments if anyone dares have what she considers food which is "beyond the pale"; veal, lamb or duck. She only ever has one course as suddenly the options offered don't appeal, and so she sits with a face like thunder, glowering, as others tuck in.

I leave others to judge whether it is reasonable for those who have such strict limitations to accept invitations which appear unsuitable from the off, only to moan about it and reduce the enjoyment of others.

Good sense at last, thanks

Your fish-hating and vegan friends should not imo go to places where they serve food they find abhorrent. If they chose to do so, they should refrain from criticising (either verbally or non-verbally) someone else's choice and just get on with eating their own.

NewShadow

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

... so I can ask myself whether I really AM hungry for any more or whether I'd prefer to spare my waistline the risk of putting on any more inches iyswim.

I need to do more of this...

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Thinks.....now what would I do if I had to knock up a chocolate pudding quickly...

And think less about this...

missbiggles1 wrote: »

(Who on earth freezes bananas anyway?)

Anyone who likes to make banana bread?

Plus - if you've not tried it, both frozen disks of banana and frozen grapes are deliciously refreshing 'guilt free treats' during a hot summer.

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I'm sure most anorexics would not do so by choice.

A number of people with eating disorders have very active and busy social lives - including eating and drinking out a lot. For some the rich food can be a trigger for their disorder as they might feel they need to 'keep up with the Jones' and show they're having a good time by over consuming food or drink - sometimes leading to a binge and purge cycle or binge then starve. The range of reasons and reactions is as diverse as the people who struggle with the disorder.

As for 'those who eat less should stay at home' - all I've personally said is those people who don't seem to like eating out would be better off staying at home.

May I suggest this whole thread seems based around the idea there's only one way to enjoy eating out - I would suggest, just because someone isn't seeming to enjoy the meal in the same way you are, doesn't mean they aren't enjoying it.

I know people that go to the pub and think the nights ruined if they don't have at least a alcoholic drink an hour. I know others who go out and have one or two alcoholic drinks an entire night, and others who don't drink alcohol at all.

I don't think anyone would suggest the designated driver is ruining everyone else's night on the lash?

Andypandyboy

NewShadow wrote: »

I don't think anyone would suggest the designated driver is ruining everyone else's night on the lash?

Doesn't that rather depend on how they behave?

If they have been pressganged into it for example, and make comments to that effect or give out non verbal cues that they are doing it under duress, then yes, they very well could be affecting the enjoyment of others. I would much prefer to get a taxi under those circumstances.

NewShadow

Andypandyboy wrote: »

Doesn't that rather depend on how they behave?

If they have been pressganged into it for example, and make comments to that effect or give out non verbal cues that they are doing it under duress, then yes, they very well could be affecting the enjoyment of others. I would much prefer to get a taxi under those circumstances.

I agree. But (I think...) the point of the discussion over one or two courses was that simply having one or three courses when the average was two would make those choosing the average feel uncomfortable.

There was a lot of mud slinging around being po faced or gluttons, but functionally it seems the assumption is (paraphrased) you can't be enjoying the meal if you're not eating every course.

I think that those who choose to eat only half the meal shouldn't be so stingy - it's bad enough sitting there po faced with an empty plate while others are enjoying themselves.

(from the very start of the thread)

Andypandyboy

NewShadow wrote: »

I agree. But (I think...) the point of the discussion over one or two courses was that simply having one or three courses when the average was two would make those choosing the average feel uncomfortable.

There was a lot of mud slinging around being po faced or gluttons, but functionally it seems the assumption is (paraphrased) you can't be enjoying the meal if you're not eating every course.

(from the very start of the thread)

I think most of us are able to deduce whether someone is actually enjoying themselves or whether they are sitting there "po faced".

pollypenny

AubreyMac wrote: »

I think for british food (gastropubs and cafes) and steak houses it is mainly true.


She can't eat Chinese or thai/oriental as even the veg options have a bit of fish sauce or chicken stock splashed on it.


So this narrows it to Italian or Indian as they do offer a better variety of actual cooked meals made with pulses and legumes rather than just salad. A lot of Italian are pizza chains though and even I (I eat anything) don't like a lot of them. So with this friend it is almost always Indian meals. Japanese (my absolute favourite) is do-able as a lot of veg options are tofu based.


It is fine if a meal out was planned and restaurant booked as everyone can see a menu online before hand. But majority of the time we meet for galleries or film then decide afterwards and that's when it can turn into a debate.

Good gastropubs usually have some very interesting and inventive vegetarian meals on offer.

The Price Brunning group, up to about 11, usually changes its menu every month and there's always a couple of good veggie options.

Edit to add: these pubs are in Cheshire and North Wales.

missbiggles1

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Anyone who wants a currently very fashionable type of icecream - made with frozen banana as it's base. It's part of the clean eating fashion (ie genuinely healthy eating) that has been fashionable for about the last 5 years.

It's nice actually:)

But then my top two priorities for food tend to be:
- genuinely healthy
- interesting (translation - probably fashionable then).

Well, you learn something every day!:)

As a matter of interest, why does freezing a banana make it "cleaner" than just eating it normally?

missbiggles1

onlyroz wrote: »

So now you're saying that people with eating disorders shouldn't eat out either?

Well, that's a jump and a total lack of comprehension skills if ever I saw them!

And are you also suggesting that a pub's a suitable night out for a recovering alcoholic?

missbiggles1

Peter333 wrote: »

I agree with Pollycat. I have never been to a restaurant yet that only has chips or salad for vegetarians. I go out regularly with Vegetarians, (my wife and daughter are veggies, and so are several friends,) and I have never been anywhere that only offers chips or salad for them. This has never happened; not THIS century anyway. Maybe back pre mid 90s, it was hard to find food for vegetarians, (other than vegetables, salad, or chips,) but there are certainly many options now.

There's usually pasta bake, 'choose your own topping' pizza, macaroni cheese, veggieburger, quiche, veggie pie, veggie curry, veggie risotto, pasta, falafel, veggie soup, spring rolls, noodles, soup, veggie ravioli, omelettes, veggie chilli con carne, veggie spag bol, veggie enchiladas, garlic mushrooms, baked potato with any topping they choose, Parmigiana, quesadillas, and many other dishes.

The only people who may find life a little awkward is vegans. Not many places cater for them. One person I know went over eastern Europe a few months ago, and it was full board. Not one single vegan option.

It was actually stated clearly on the hotel website that they 'do not cater to vegan requirements.' This is the same in quite a few places outside the UK. I guess maybe they think it's a bit precious, and that people are being too fussy and restrictive. I think vegans are entitled to have very restrictive diets, but many places don't cater to them.

2 people I know who are vegans are disgustingly preachy. UBER preachy. I also know 2 others who are 'selective vegans!' They tell everyone they're a vegan, but have been caught scoffing cheese, and chocolate (that is made with milk.) So it's laughable when they post their vegan whitterings on facebook and twitter! Makes me wonder how many people who claim to be vegans, actually are 100% vegan.

And I agree with the people here who have said it's disgusting to think people should be excluded from meals out if they are not big eaters. It's also rude and nasty to comment on what someone is eating; whether they have a lot of food, or whether they have very little.

All on the menu at the same time and as well as a range of meat dishes?:eek:

LilElvis

AubreyMac wrote: »

Fair say.


One of my best friends is Chinese and I must say, the authentic Chinese food she eats does not look appetising. She says you never really see Chinese people eat in Chinese restaurants and that is true. Most Chinese people do not eat egg friend rice or sweet sour chicken and noodles (I never thought about it until she said), them sort of foods is really made for british diners. When I went with her she ate duck tongues and pickled pork intestine!! You can't help but be curious when you see people eat foods you find 'disgusting'.


I did go out with someone once who initiated going out for a thai meal and only had a small bowl of egg fried rice. Their part of the meal only came to £2.50 but really what is the point of organising a meal out only to have a small serving of egg fried rice?

I used to live in California and one of my favourite days out was to go for lunch in Chinatown in San Francisco with my friend Christine, who's Hong Kong Chinese. The menus there are generally in two parts - the front section written in English and the back couple of pages in Chinese, with no translation. No need to guess which section had the really tasty food.