large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

Pollycat

AubreyMac wrote: »

Those without any dietary restrictions have more (and better I think) options when eating out.


One of my friends is a very strict vegetarian and whenever we eat out, we almost always have to go a restaurant suitable for her, never really the other way round. As she puts it, most meat eating restaurants will only have chips or a salad available for veggies. When someone is unwilling to compromise and it becomes one sided almost all the time, it does get annoying.

I find it hard to believe that most meat eating restaurants only have those options for vegetarians.

I think if she was unwilling to compromise every so often and agree to go to a 'meat-eating' restaurant - one that did actually offer a vegetarian meal that she would be happy with - I'd be planning a meal out without her.

Being friends shouldn't mean she always has things her own way.

onlyroz

AubreyMac wrote: »

Those without any dietary restrictions have more (and better I think) options when eating out.


One of my friends is a very strict vegetarian and whenever we eat out, we almost always have to go a restaurant suitable for her, never really the other way round. As she puts it, most meat eating restaurants will only have chips or a salad available for veggies. When someone is unwilling to compromise and it becomes one sided almost all the time, it does get annoying.

The actual choice of restaurant is a separate issue really, and would possibly make for an entirely new and equally entertaining debate. Once you've had the discussion over where to eat and a venue is agreed on, it shouldn't be acceptable to pass judgement on the dishes that each diner selects, or how much they eat.

onlyroz

Pollycat wrote: »

I think if she was unwilling to compromise every so often and agree to go to a 'meat-eating' restaurant - one that did actually offer a vegetarian meal that she would be happy with - I'd be planning a meal out without her.

Being friends shouldn't mean she always has things her own way.

We have a friend who doesn't like Chinese food but is happy to go for an Indian. It does mean that he declines invites to the Chinese meals, but that's his prerogative.


If I had a friend who was a strict vegan or vegetarian I would be happy to go to restaurants of their choosing every so often, but I wouldn't want them to make the choice *all* the time. It would then be up to them to decide whether to attend the meals at other venues, and I would be disappointed if they spent the time preaching their views on food at everybody else.

Frogletina

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Funnily enough, I've never seen mushroom or asparagus risotto on any menus! :rotfl:

Often risotto is the only vegetarian choice in a spa hotel that I sometimes go to. I usually eat out when staying there.

pollypenny wrote: »

Risotto, of various types, has become the default veg meal in restaurants, replacing the omelette for which I was expected to be grateful up until the 80s.

I'd prefer the omelette.

I usually find that the more expensive the hotel or restaurant is the less choice there is for vegetarians.

The default vegetarian meal I usually find has goats cheese in it. No thanks, I really can't stand the stuff.

frogletina

Peter333

AubreyMac wrote: »

Those without any dietary restrictions have more (and better I think) options when eating out.

One of my friends is a very strict vegetarian and whenever we eat out, we almost always have to go a restaurant suitable for her, never really the other way round. As she puts it, most meat eating restaurants will only have chips or a salad available for veggies. When someone is unwilling to compromise and it becomes one sided almost all the time, it does get annoying.

Pollycat wrote: »

I find it hard to believe that most meat eating restaurants only have those options for vegetarians.

I think if she was unwilling to compromise every so often and agree to go to a 'meat-eating' restaurant - one that did actually offer a vegetarian meal that she would be happy with - I'd be planning a meal out without her.

Being friends shouldn't mean she always has things her own way.

I agree with Pollycat. I have never been to a restaurant yet that only has chips or salad for vegetarians. I go out regularly with Vegetarians, (my wife and daughter are veggies, and so are several friends,) and I have never been anywhere that only offers chips or salad for them. This has never happened; not THIS century anyway. Maybe back pre mid 90s, it was hard to find food for vegetarians, (other than vegetables, salad, or chips,) but there are certainly many options now.

There's usually pasta bake, 'choose your own topping' pizza, macaroni cheese, veggieburger, quiche, veggie pie, veggie curry, veggie risotto, pasta, falafel, veggie soup, spring rolls, noodles, soup, veggie ravioli, omelettes, veggie chilli con carne, veggie spag bol, veggie enchiladas, garlic mushrooms, baked potato with any topping they choose, Parmigiana, quesadillas, and many other dishes.

The only people who may find life a little awkward is vegans. Not many places cater for them. One person I know went over eastern Europe a few months ago, and it was full board. Not one single vegan option.

It was actually stated clearly on the hotel website that they 'do not cater to vegan requirements.' This is the same in quite a few places outside the UK. I guess maybe they think it's a bit precious, and that people are being too fussy and restrictive. I think vegans are entitled to have very restrictive diets, but many places don't cater to them.

2 people I know who are vegans are disgustingly preachy. UBER preachy. I also know 2 others who are 'selective vegans!' They tell everyone they're a vegan, but have been caught scoffing cheese, and chocolate (that is made with milk.) So it's laughable when they post their vegan whitterings on facebook and twitter! Makes me wonder how many people who claim to be vegans, actually are 100% vegan.

And I agree with the people here who have said it's disgusting to think people should be excluded from meals out if they are not big eaters. It's also rude and nasty to comment on what someone is eating; whether they have a lot of food, or whether they have very little.

MoneyMission2015

Pollycat wrote: »

Why didn't you stick to your guns and insist that your share would be the £45 your meals & drinks came to plus tip?

Even if everybody else stayed silent, you could have insisted that you didn't want to be part of the bill share.

We went out with the family, Mum, Dad, 3 daughters and partners.
The partner of one of my sister was incredibly mean with money.
He was the type to get to the bar last, and when it was his turn, he'd nurse the dregs of his drink and suggest we went home.

When the bill came, we were happy to split the bill, we'd pretty much had similar (although me and OH hadn't had puddings) and all shared the wine.
He however announced that he would pay for what they'd had.
He totted up what they'd had - but omitted to include the aperitifs, the Irish coffees and some other stuff.
I called him out on it and he actually had the good grace to look shame-faced.

Well, who'd have thought it!
His and my sister's share suddenly became more than the 4 way split.
He then decided that he would be happy to split the bill 4 ways but I told him he would pay for his and my sister's consumption and we'd split the remainder 3 ways.
He wasn't happy. :rotfl:

I did stick to my guns and got my £45 in cash out of my purse but then my OH said that he felt awkward so got his card out and paid the rest. It's a bit of a sore point in our house because he always just rolls over and does what his family want, even if I tell him it's wrong. He just can't ever just tell them no, it drives me bonkers!


I have made it clear it won't be happening again though, I told my OH, his parents and his brother and SIL. The thing is, when we go out with other family members they all do the same as us and just keep note of what they've had so we all pay for our own, so when I think about it I do wonder if SIL knew her own family were struggling with money or something, but then if that was the case she should have either chosen a cheaper restaurant or offered to pay for her own family separately, rather than just expecting everybody to foot the bill!


Oh dear me, the joys of family hey! So much easier to just go to a buffet where everybody pays a set price per head and send them to the bar for drinks. Now if only I could find a buffet that actually serves nice food that doesn't all taste the same :rotfl:

MoneyMission2015

silvercar wrote: »

I would have thought that eating with close family everyone is comfortable enough with each other to openly discuss bill splitting or not.

When we go out with close family the eldest generation pay the whole bill. It's a family tradition. There is a running family joke that it will save on inheritance tax.

If we are going out with family that are not immediate and we feel that money is tight for them at the moment, we generally establish who will be paying at the outset to avoid anyone feeling awkward or deciding not to come. That is because we encourage family get togethers and really do enjoy meeting up with cousins etc.

To be honest I don't know why everybody stayed quiet, my OH's dad in particular is very outspoken to the point of sometimes being quite rude, but on this occasion he just stayed quiet.


We enjoy family get togethers too and I know there are a few members of my family that don't have a lot of money, so whenever I arrange a meal out with them I try to choose somewhere that I know they have eaten before, so I know they are comfortable with the prices or more often lately we've arranged more get togethers at each others houses where we all take some food that everybody can share.

AubreyMac

Pollycat wrote: »

I find it hard to believe that most meat eating restaurants only have those options for vegetarians.

I think for british food (gastropubs and cafes) and steak houses it is mainly true.


She can't eat Chinese or thai/oriental as even the veg options have a bit of fish sauce or chicken stock splashed on it.


So this narrows it to Italian or Indian as they do offer a better variety of actual cooked meals made with pulses and legumes rather than just salad. A lot of Italian are pizza chains though and even I (I eat anything) don't like a lot of them. So with this friend it is almost always Indian meals. Japanese (my absolute favourite) is do-able as a lot of veg options are tofu based.


It is fine if a meal out was planned and restaurant booked as everyone can see a menu online before hand. But majority of the time we meet for galleries or film then decide afterwards and that's when it can turn into a debate.

onlyroz

AubreyMac wrote: »

She can't eat Chinese or thai/oriental as even the veg options have a bit of fish sauce or chicken stock splashed on it.

I remember the Vietnamese takeaway near our old flat had difficulty understanding the concept of vegetarianism. Their menu offered "vegetarian chicken" and even "vegetarian goat" - because obviously goats and chickens aren't real animals after all

AubreyMac

onlyroz wrote: »

The actual choice of restaurant is a separate issue really, and would possibly make for an entirely new and equally entertaining debate. Once you've had the discussion over where to eat and a venue is agreed on, it shouldn't be acceptable to pass judgement on the dishes that each diner selects, or how much they eat.

Fair say.


One of my best friends is Chinese and I must say, the authentic Chinese food she eats does not look appetising. She says you never really see Chinese people eat in Chinese restaurants and that is true. Most Chinese people do not eat egg friend rice or sweet sour chicken and noodles (I never thought about it until she said), them sort of foods is really made for british diners. When I went with her she ate duck tongues and pickled pork intestine!! You can't help but be curious when you see people eat foods you find 'disgusting'.


I did go out with someone once who initiated going out for a thai meal and only had a small bowl of egg fried rice. Their part of the meal only came to £2.50 but really what is the point of organising a meal out only to have a small serving of egg fried rice?