Why are some people really tight with their money?

Feral_Moon

Person_one wrote: »

It's the way you've made sure you get the part of your evening not covered by vouchers covered by your friend instead I think.

But, not at any additional cost to her and it actually benefited her greatly as she received a free meal she would otherwise have had to pay for! At that particularly time I had no spare cash to be paying for meals out so I actually thought I was being generous in the circumstances

Laconic

People like that don't need cutting out of your life, if they're otherwise good to be with. Rather, you change how you interact with them: no going to the pub or out for meals but rather walking trips where you pack your own lunch, free exhibitions, concerts etc, held in places that are readily accessible by public transport.

Oh, and change the subject any time they start moaning about things being tight. Their problem, not yours.

barnaclebill

About 40 years ago working on board a ship we had a bar and the prices were low, all duty free.
There was quite a big drinking culture in those days, all buying rounds and some people on duty at different times.
One older guy would come off duty at 8pm and come to the bar and usually get bought a drink, there would be about 5 or 6 people in the bar, he would usually take a drink from all then say goodnight and leave without buying. According to him he was not married and had bought most of the houses in the street where he lived.
After a few days of this I thought I will not buy a round until he does, this usually meant I bought a round after he left as he had not bought one.
Next thing I was accused of being tight, not buying my round, no one said anything about the other guy, it was not the cost it was the principle of the thing but the damage was done, everyone in the bar saw me as being tight.
Lucky you change ships and people and I never tried that again, made a point of buying the first round even if it meant you bought 2 rounds the price was small compared to the bad atmosphere it can cause.

Person_one

Feral_Moon wrote: »

But, not at any additional cost to her and it actually benefited her greatly as she received a free meal she would otherwise have had to pay for! At that particularly time I had no spare cash to be paying for meals out so I actually thought I was being generous in the circumstances

Friendship isn't always about the pounds and pence, it's about the spirit of the thing. If you'd been more upfront and said " I have vouchers to cover the meal, and we can cover our own drinks and extras" a lot of people may even have offered to pay for your drinks anyway as a thank you for sharing the vouchers. Feeling duped into paying cash for her end of the deal while you paid nothing for your end would not be a nice feeling.

(Yes, the vouchers have value, but they are still a freebie, a bonus, Tesco could decide any day not to give them or honour them anymore.)

Spendless

Feral_Moon wrote: »

But, not at any additional cost to her and it actually benefited her greatly as she received a free meal she would otherwise have had to pay for! At that particularly time I had no spare cash to be paying for meals out so I actually thought I was being generous in the circumstances

That's the bit you should have made your friend aware of and then said 'but I have some vouchers, so if I cover the meals that way, are you ok with that' It's just looked to your friend that you've had a freebie whilst leaving her to pay actual cash. It may not have occurred to her that you were without funds, since you mentioned earlier leaving a £10 tip to placate matters.

Feral_Moon

Spendless wrote: »

That's the bit you should have made your friend aware of and then said 'but I have some vouchers, so if I cover the meals that way, are you ok with that' It's just looked to your friend that you've had a freebie whilst leaving her to pay actual cash. It may not have occurred to her that you were without funds, since you mentioned earlier leaving a £10 tip to placate matters.

I used my emergency £10 that I always have stashed away "in case of emergencies" - and yes, she was aware at the time that I had no spare cash available for non-essentials as I'd already pointed out that the only way I could afford to go out for lunch is if I used the vouchers.

Person_one

Feral_Moon wrote: »

I used my emergency £10 that I always have stashed away "in case of emergencies" - and yes, she was aware at the time that I had no spare cash available for non-essentials as I'd already pointed out that the only way I could afford to go out for lunch is if I used the vouchers.

If you'd told her about the vouchers beforehand and you both agreed the arrangements that's fine, but you said you 'produced' the vouchers when the bill arrived?

Bit silly to use your emergency cash if you really were that short of funds, probably sort of undermines your position in your friend's eyes too I'm afraid.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Hands up! I'm "skint" but with a decent whack of savings.....

That's why I'm "skint" Because I am using all my spare cash to save up for something.

I go out for meals but find vouchers (For everyone to use) I'd rather be the taxi for my friends on a night out and they buy me soft drinks (I don't expect this btw, I do take my own money out but generally they will buy - I DO try and buy their round but they wont let me)

I do buy presents - I save monthly for birthdays/Christmas and buy throughout the year in the sales etc. I use quidco etc for cashback and I play the CC system to earn interest.

I'd rather save money by taking my kids on a picnic in the park and making memories than making them sit in a restaurant with my friends and pay £40 on a meal that none of us will remember


Does it bother me people think I'm "careful with money"? Quite simply - No. I was brought up to make the most of what we had. If you didn't have the money for something then you didn't get it.

Spendless

Feral_Moon wrote: »

I used my emergency £10 that I always have stashed away "in case of emergencies" - and yes, she was aware at the time that I had no spare cash available for non-essentials as I'd already pointed out that the only way I could afford to go out for lunch is if I used the vouchers.

Then if she was aware you were going to use them why was she upset when you did?

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

. Feeling duped into paying cash for her end of the deal while you paid nothing for your end would not be a nice feeling.
.)

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest and I would feel at all duped. It's just another form of tender, so I can't get my head around why people would get their knickers in a twist about someone paying that way.

Her friend was hardly duped when she got the better end of the bargain was she? Doesn't matter how it was paid for, her meal was still bought for her. She only ended up having to pay £25 because she'd purchased a £20 bottle of wine.

Also, it wasn't very nice of her to make FM feel bad and more or less forced into leaving a bigger tip than she was comfortable with. That's not a friend in my books.