Why are some people really tight with their money?

i_was_taught_2b_cautious

Some interesting responses. I have read all of them, and everyone has different reasons in how they value money, and I can say I was not assuming people are tight.
I know someone has there mortgage paid off, 500k in the bank, and still comes across as being financially strained, but have new cars every year, 3 holidays a year, but in OTHER areas are very tight.

E.g If someone close genuinely needed help they would make an excuse about not having any money.

It was a very simple questions and everyone has responded in different ways.

Thanks all

MrandMrstrying

I think everyone has a personal view on how much money they have to spend. So once all their bills are paid and money put away in savings or that expensive item has been brought they may not have any money left to spend on on nights out.
So looking from the outside in you may think wow they have the nice car, nice house, holidays, cothing ect ect. They may not have any spare money.

Also everyone has a different opinion on being skint.
The day before pay day
A, no money left for one person is skint
B, £2000 left over is skint in their eyes.

FBaby

What would you do if a friend invited you out for dinner and offered to pay for the food if you covered the cost of drinks/gratuity (assuming it was a relatively even split of course) and then when the bill arrives they produce vouchers to cover their part instead of cash?

Well that would be quite manipulative, involving some thought process before to ensure they paid as little as possible, so wouldn't be impressed with their attitude. Why not pay for what you spend, and if you have vouchers, then good for you (although I would expect that if such vouchers were available to anyone, they would have informed us of it).

However, I did notice when I was working that some people when totting up their share (to the penny using a calculator) forget (by mistake or deliberately, who knows) to include that expensive Italian coffe that wasn't part of the '2 course special'.

The norm with my friends is that one person (the one who studied accounting so we trust most with numbers) takes the notes and does the sums and then ask everyone if they are happy with it. Last time we went out, only one person had a glass of wine and those who didn't have dessert had coffees or teas so we all agreed to split.

I couldn't care less paying an extra 10-20% of my meal, I do have an issue paying 50%, especially when one particular person end up paying 50% or more less than what their meal cost. Even then, I wouldn't mind so much as a one off, but not surprisingly, it is always the same individuals who end up costing a lot more than others. I can't comprehend how anyone could be so selfish to think there is nothing wrong with what they are doing!

Person_one

There's a big difference between being careful with your own money, and being careful with your own money but having no consideration for others.

So...not going in on rounds but just buying your own soft drinks is fine. Letting someone else get you a drink for the first three rounds then vanishing us not fine.

Buying a cheaper birthday present that has some thought and effort put into it is fine, not buying anybody else a birthday present because you say you can't afford it but then 'treating yourself' regularly and expensively is less fine.

Not attending costly social events but making an effort to see friends in cheaper/free ways is fine, unless you then throw your own costly event and moan when people don't want to cough up.

It's not really about money, it's about whether the way you manage your money seems selfish/self-centred, to me. After all, what's the point of having it if you can't do nice things for/with the people you care about?

Feral_Moon

74jax wrote: »

Wouldn't bother me, I'm not sure what the problem would be? I'd more than likely do the 2-4-1 cocktails offer at the same time and wouldn't think anything of it either.


How they choose to pay wouldn't bother me, whether they paid in vouchers, cash or credit card.

Thanks for your response. It wouldn't bother me either but I was recently in this very situation whereby I was the one using vouchers. The person I was lunching with was rather annoyed that I'd effectively be receiving a "free lunch" whereas they were "paying" for theirs with cash and actually expected me to split the rest of the bill :eek:

I was quite astounded as I'd covered £40 of the cost of the meal with the vouchers leaving them just £25 to pay, much less than the value of food/drink they'd actually consumed!

I was reluctantly forced into leaving a £10 cash tip as a result just to make them feel I'd actually contributed something :mad:

Pollycat

i_was_taught_2b_cautious wrote: »

Some interesting responses. I have read all of them, and everyone has different reasons in how they value money, and I can say I was not assuming people are tight.
I know someone has there mortgage paid off, 500k in the bank, and still comes across as being financially strained, but have new cars every year, 3 holidays a year, but in OTHER areas are very tight.

E.g If someone close genuinely needed help they would make an excuse about not having any money.

It was a very simple questions and everyone has responded in different ways.

Thanks all

Surely it would depend why the person needed help.

If they'd spent £5k on a cruise and had a new kitchen installed then complained they couldn't afford the mortgage, even if I had the money I would be reluctant to help them out.
But I wouldn't make an excuse about not having any money. I'd tell them straight why I wasn't willing to help them out.

Person_one

Feral_Moon wrote: »

Thanks for your response. It wouldn't bother me either but I was recently in this very situation whereby I was the one using vouchers. The person I was lunching with was rather annoyed that I'd effectively be receiving a "free lunch" whereas they were "paying" for theirs with cash and actually expected me to split the rest of the bill :eek:

I was quite astounded as I'd covered £40 of the cost of the meal with the vouchers leaving them just £25 to pay, much less than the value of food/drink they'd actually consumed!

I was reluctantly forced into leaving a £10 cash tip as a result just to make them feel I'd actually contributed something :mad:

The 'friendlier' thing to do, imo, would be to share the benefit of the vouchers. If there was a £25 bill left to pay after they were used, why not go £12.50 each?

I get 2 for 1 cinema tickets for buying insurance through the meerkat site. I tend to go with the same friend a couple of times a month. It would never occur to me that she should pay full price and I get the free ticket because it was my insurance purchase. Obviously, we split the discounted full cost 50/50.

Feral_Moon

Person_one wrote: »

The 'friendlier' thing to do, imo, would be to share the benefit of the vouchers. If there was a £25 bill left to pay after they were used, why not go £12.50 each?

I get 2 for 1 cinema tickets for buying insurance through the meerkat site. I tend to go with the same friend a couple of times a month. It would never occur to me that she should pay full price and I get the free ticket because it was my insurance purchase. Obviously, we split the discounted full cost 50/50.

But those tickets don't actually "cost" you anything and you couldn't benefit by using them for anything else. My vouchers are generated from Tesco Clubcard vouchers so there is an actual "cost" involved.

Perhaps what I should have done in hindsight was just offer vouchers to the value of my own food and paid for my own drinks etc in cash. But I guess this still wouldn't be good enough as it would still be less than half of the remaining bill.

ETA: if I found money off vouchers online such as from Vouchercloud etc then I'd have no hesitation in sharing the benefit of them with whomever I was dining.

Person_one

Feral_Moon wrote: »

But those tickets don't actually "cost" you anything and you couldn't benefit by using them for anything else. My vouchers are generated from Tesco Clubcard vouchers so there is an actual "cost" involved.

Perhaps what I should have done in hindsight was just offer vouchers to the value of my own food and paid for my own drinks etc in cash. But I guess this still wouldn't be good enough as it would still be less than half of the remaining bill.

The club card vouchers are a bonus in the same way as the meerkat cinema tickets though. I assume you don't buy stuff you don't need from Tesco just to get the vouchers!

If you don't want to share the value of the vouchers, I'd say it was best to spend them on things other than social occasions, personally. Others may differ of course, but I can't imagine not sharing in that situation.

Spendless

FBaby wrote: »

Well that would be quite manipulative, involving some thought process before to ensure they paid as little as possible, so wouldn't be impressed with their attitude. Why not pay for what you spend, and if you have vouchers, then good for you (although I would expect that if such vouchers were available to anyone, they would have informed us of it).


The norm with my friends is that one person (the one who studied accounting so we trust most with numbers) takes the notes and does the sums and then ask everyone if they are happy with it. Last time we went out, only one person had a glass of wine and those who didn't have dessert had coffees or teas so we all agreed to split.

I got out a few times a year for a meal with 3 friends. One is a Bank Manager and we do the same, entrust her to sort the bill out. Once we had a voucher plus there was an offer on at the restaurant that could be used in conjunction. When the final bill arrived, Bank Manager friend said it had been totalled up incorrectly, but we were all several (shared ) bottles of wine down and me and other 2, said 'yeah, yeah we're fine with it' and paid the bill. The following day sober I looked at the receiptl, and Bank Manager friend was correct it had been added up incorrectly by the restaurant (only a few £s out). I sent her a message saying I was impressed by her mathematical ability even under the influence of a bottle or two and that we'd listen in future.

Re vouchers. My area has a booklet of money off vouchers you can buy. It's a not for profit organisation, so the profits go to local chairities. I buy one every year and I always share it. In fact I often have it with me and we base many of our next nights out on where an offer is. We just split the money off between us, I don't say mine is free just because it's my booklet.