Why are some people really tight with their money?

pigpen

fierystormcloud wrote: »

I think people are on about people being tight when they DO have the money.

Well it sounds like that is what the responders think.. but in my opinion the OP is having a pop at people who are utterly skint.. disbelieving that there are people who are actually so poor they can't afford things like a card or a beer or lunch out.


I'm not rich.. I don't like spending money either.. which is a good job because I don't have any!

arbroath_lass

HappyMJ wrote: »

I've had that before when people ask me for money towards a meal then when I ask for a lift back home (as I drink and can't therefore drive) they also ask for a contribution towards petrol. I mean come on you were going that way anyway. They didn't get invited again.

I assume you were paying towards your own meal not theirs? Perhaps they were driving because they couldn't afford a taxi and then you expect a free ride home. If someone did that to me they'd not be invited again! No-one has to drink alcohol, you either offer to pay fuel money or give them a lift next time.

Lingua

I have a personal disagreement with the purchasing of cards for occasions (both buying for others and having them bought for me). Cards cost so much these days that I'd rather the money be spent on something that will be kept for more than a few days. In all other aspects however I'm lucky enough at the moment to not have to worry about money too much so do not mind spending on wants rather than needs.

However, I have known people who are both stingy in spite of being well off, and stingy due to not being well off at all. And in all honesty, those who have not had much have always seemed the nicer people, going out of their way to do things that do not cost money but still are worthwhile, such as handmaking a gift. I don't have time for the ones who cry poverty then complain about how buying a suit for less than £500 is "a waste of money" ...

fierystormcloud

Lingua wrote: »

I have a personal disagreement with the purchasing of cards for occasions (both buying for others and having them bought for me). Cards cost so much these days that I'd rather the money be spent on something that will be kept for more than a few days. In all other aspects however I'm lucky enough at the moment to not have to worry about money too much so do not mind spending on wants rather than needs.

However, I have known people who are both stingy in spite of being well off, and stingy due to not being well off at all. And in all honesty, those who have not had much have always seemed the nicer people, going out of their way to do things that do not cost money but still are worthwhile, such as handmaking a gift. I don't have time for the ones who cry poverty then complain about how buying a suit for less than £500 is "a waste of money" ...

You can get a card for about 29p off market stalls and from certain shops. If people don't want to give cards, then don't; but they shouldn't use 'I can't afford a card' as an excuse. Anyone can afford a greetings card.

One of my cousins claims she is skint all the time, and even though she expects cards and gifts for her 5 kids and 3 grandkids, she never ever gives anything back; ever. And her mother and a couple of other family members make excuses for her. However, she still finds £35.00 a week for cigarettes, £20 a week for the bingo, and £20 a week for the pub. Yet she can't fork out 29p for a greeting card for someone.

I understand that people are skint sometimes, but the ones that claim they are, often aren't, as they will find the money for something when it suits them.

yllop1101

I struggle with this is I wonder if I fit into the category you're talking about.... For example, I don't earn much, less than most my friends (I'm 26, earn about 22k), but live in a nice flat with my partner in the city (so pay more rent than them, some of whom still live at home rent free!). I also have a nice car which costs me quite a bit per month, and I like to save my money for holidays so I can go skiing in the winter and maybe away in the summer.
This then means that I don't have lots of extra disposable income. I use the envelope saving system to put aside money each month for my weekend spending/meals out, birthday presents etc.
Whilst I usually contribute equally to birthday presents (E. G for my friends we usually put a tenner in each), I sometimes can't afford to go out for dinner and drinks aswell for their birthday. Or if we do go out for dinner I may choose to not drink as wine usually adds up, or just have 1 course.
This then does mean when someone suggests splitting it equally I am in the uncomfortable position of having to ask to work mine out. My friends are fine with this as often others are trying to manage their costs too.

I don't see what is so wrong with this when it's down to me to choose how I spend my money. Splitting the bill makes it hard to manage my budget on a night out as I may have to pay a share towards everyone else's meal and drinks despite being frugal with my own.

I think as long as people pay their fair share, and are consistent (E. G. Don't expect a drink from someone but won't buy one back) then why does it matter if I drive a nice car but can't afford an expensive meal?

LilElvis

Lingua wrote: »

I have a personal disagreement with the purchasing of cards for occasions (both buying for others and having them bought for me). Cards cost so much these days that I'd rather the money be spent on something that will be kept for more than a few days. In all other aspects however I'm lucky enough at the moment to not have to worry about money too much so do not mind spending on wants rather than needs.

However, I have known people who are both stingy in spite of being well off, and stingy due to not being well off at all. And in all honesty, those who have not had much have always seemed the nicer people, going out of their way to do things that do not cost money but still are worthwhile, such as handmaking a gift. I don't have time for the ones who cry poverty then complain about how buying a suit for less than £500 is "a waste of money" ...

50 blank cards from Hobbycraft costs a couple of pounds. Customising one with whatever you have to hand costs pence/nothing. Ditto presents - anything which has had thought or time put into it will be cherished above the more costly "it will do" random purchase, regardless of cost.

PeacefulWaters

i_was_taught_2b_cautious wrote: »

Why are some people really tight with money, and don't spend on thing normal people do ?

e.g going out for dinner

At different stages of life this has been the first thing I've sacrificed.

Saving for a car. Saving for a home. Having no disposable income because I'm raising kids. Going out to eat twice a week can be £150 a month in spend over and above the £2 a meal I spend not going out.

buying friends gifts

I've never bought friends gifts. I've never expected them to buy me gifts. Weddings are an exception.

or a card at least

I did buy a huge number of cards from Card Factory when they were 10 for £1 a few years back. They're running out.

But I know who my friends are. And they know who I am. And that friendship isn't based on a meaningless exchange of over-priced gifts and cards.

paying their share of a meal with other people

No problem paying my share. Get a bit miffed if I've had the sausage and mash and a Diet Coke and somebody who had starter, steak, dessert and a £20 bottle of wine thinks we should all pay equal shares.[/QUOTE]

making excuses not to go out or attend a function.

If somebody isn't into social events, why should they? If somebody is saving for something else of importance, they have to use their judgement. If somebody is skint, they just shouldn't.

I recall seeing another thread sometime back on MSE Forum about people who say they have no money constantly making moaning about not having any, but in fact they are quite well off or can easily afford everything they need.

If they have other priorities what is wrong with that.

I have heard a saying rich people become rich because they don't like spending money.

I have another saying.

Look after your money. !!!! happens in life and having a few quid saved makes it easier to handle.

i_was_taught_2b_cautious

I am talking about people who do have money, but come across as being always skint. When like others people have said above they pull up in a new Mercedes, but would say 3 months before they have no money so don't turn up to a birthday meal.
Another example is being invited to a hen party, but making an excuse as the people does not want to put money into a kitty...
So basically they would spend on themselves only, and no one else even partners and kids.

i_was_taught_2b_cautious

And I am not asking the questions because I think it's wrong being tight, I want to know why people do some of the things mentioned above.

Why would someone who is well off say they don't have money to other people or come across as if they do not have any money, but their life style says something else?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

i_was_taught_2b_cautious wrote: »

Why are some people really tight with money, and don't spend on thing normal people do ?

e.g going out for dinner, buying friends gifts or a card at least, paying their share of a meal with other people, making excuses not to go out or attend a function.

I recall seeing another thread sometime back on MSE Forum about people who say they have no money constantly making moaning about not having any, but in fact they are quite well off or can easily afford everything they need.

I have heard a saying rich people become rich because they don't like spending money.

a. Why would I want to spend £60 of my hard earned dosh on a meal for the two of us, when, for £20, I'd have the ingredients for the whole thing (plus meals for the next fortnight), either of us would be able to cook it better, we wouldn't have to endure the drunks at the next table and we don't have to walk home in the rain?

b. I like my friends. I think they'd rather we fed ourselves than bought them something they didn't need or want. Or paid the rent/council tax/gas bill/delete as applicable.

c. What's the point - it's only going to go into the bin the following morning?

d. There's the cost, the needing nice clothes, the transport issue, the not wanting to be there sipping tap water and being unable to buy anyone drinks, the fact that posh functions are probably placed in the seventh circle of hell, just after a bank holiday trip to IKEA...


Maybe we're not normal to you. But if you're going to make us feel like we're bad people for not wanting to go through the expense and embarrassment of such things, I'm okay with not being normal.


I went to one person's wedding reception when I was single. I had to buy a dress, shoes, tights, get a cab there and back (no bus service), pay a babysitter, nursed one drink all night, and put every last penny I had onto a gift card for the happy couple's imminent arrival.

She refused to speak to me afterwards and blocked me on facebook. Turns out she was so offended that I dared to insult them by only giving them my last £20, she decided she never wanted to hear from me again.

I'm not going through all that nonsense again - the one do we've been to as a couple involved a short walk, a couple of drinks and a handmade card; the groom was delighted at that, because he wanted Our Company, not our money.

Our first holiday was staying at a mate's flat. The travel cost £6 each. But I'm not going to advertise that if somebody asks how my holiday was, I'm just going to say it was lovely. We were in exactly the same place as an acquaintance was at the same time - only she spent about a thousand pounds; as she was instagramming beautifully arranged plates of salad (with the inevitable #eatclean hashtag), we'd chucked some yellow stickered tomatoes and some cucumber onto a plate of reduced to clear rocket and topped with some pomegranate seeds & some reduced goats' cheese. Her salad alone cost about a tenner, ours about 89p each. Her clean eating spiralised veg pasta meal cost £18, her home version requiring a £35 spiraliser, a £550 blender and perfect lighting for the photo - my version, which I've been doing for years, since I had a sad looking courgette and very little else in the cupboard and was hungry, involved using a £1.50 peeler and a stick blender bought from Woolworths for £5 many years ago.


Good for her that she can do that. We can't. [shrug] I'm not convinced that she is normal, though, as there aren't many people round here that live like she does.