Why are some people really tight with their money?

Lunar_Eclipse

Most people aren't wealthy enough to afford *everything* and hence life is about choices.

Not going out for dinner (or similar) doesn't make someone stingy. We don't go out for dinner often, purely because we want to spend money on other things, like private schooling, housing and travel. This is also why DH takes a packed lunch to work.

I do give birthday cards, but not Christmas cards. I'd never send cheap cards; I like heavyweight cards that unfortunately are expensive. So for adults, it's a £3+ card or no card (but possibly a gift or other thoughtful token.)

PeacefulWaters

i_was_taught_2b_cautious wrote: »

And I am not asking the questions because I think it's wrong being tight, I want to know why people do some of the things mentioned above.

Why would someone who is well off say they don't have money to other people or come across as if they do not have any money, but their life style says something else?

I think it's wrong assuming somebody is being tight when there could be many reasons for them making other choices on what to spend their hard earned cash on.

It's also a ridiculous thread on a money saving forum.

mellymoo74

My MIL lived through rationing (she was young but old enough to remember) this shaped her in as much as she hoarded (I'm still going through her stuff nearly 12 months on)
And she needed to account for every penny, wouldn't get anything g on hp etc.
.sometimes it's upbringing I think

Pay_me

yllop1101 wrote: »

I think as long as people pay their fair share, and are consistent (E. G. Don't expect a drink from someone but won't buy one back) then why does it matter if I drive a nice car but can't afford an expensive meal?

You are right in the context you mention and there is nothing wrong in what you say. In my post I am talking about people in my wider circle who will happily take and then claim poverty when it is their time to repay the favour etc. They are happy to boast about their new Merc or spending £150 on Ted Baker shoes but they will find every excuse under the sun to not contribute when they have benefited from the group or an individual.


There is being clever and educated with money and then there is being an a!!!. I am talking about those who fall in to the being an a!!! camp.

balletshoes

i_was_taught_2b_cautious wrote: »

And I am not asking the questions because I think it's wrong being tight, I want to know why people do some of the things mentioned above.

Why would someone who is well off say they don't have money to other people or come across as if they do not have any money, but their life style says something else?

maybe they are skint most of the time because they like to save for their nice car, nice home, nice holidays? Isn't it just prioritising their money how they choose to?

Some months I'm on a budget, so those months I keep an eye on how much I'm spending on socialising (meals out, birthdays etc) and it can be a real eye-opener when you realise how much it can cost. I wouldn't blame anyone for giving that a miss if they wanted to save for a big purchase.

A "miser" to me would be someone who takes a drink from you in the pub but never offers you one back, or who accepts an invite out for a meal with you, knowing you're not footing the bill, but then doesn't even cover their own meal.

I have no problem with people paying for what they've eaten instead of splitting the bill, or not going in a "round" in the pub but buying their own drinks instead. Those people, to me, are not misers or skinflints.

haras_nosirrah

I object more to the people who are profligate with other people's money

I don't drink and I am careful with money. I have a good job but have just gone on mat leave and as I am the main earner we have had to save hard.

It annoys me no end if I go out for a meal and have maybe a main and a soft drink which cost circa £10 and then the people who have 3 courses, wine, expensive mains and a coffee suddenly pipe up "shall we just split the bill". I am then seen as a miserable miser for objecting paying £40 for my share of the bill and refusing to put in more than £15.

goodwithsaving

The more you earn, the more you're aware of the sacrifices you've made to move up the ladder and earn it, IMO.
As you earn more, your goals shift and therefore your financial goalposts shift with them. I've found it harder to spend as I've increased my salary. Largely because I know it may not be there forever. Do I care what other people think of me for being careful? Not really. I wonder why so many people waste money on tat when they don't have much money.
I pay my way, but I don't waste money on eating out (unless I have a voucher) or on cards for anyone except relatives. Likewise, I don't involve myself in rounds because that's when people who don't normally drink finer wines or spirits start taking the P! I also refuse to split a bill, I won't subsidise someone elses meal.

ciderwithrosie_2

I've been genuinely skint most of my life and it's only recently we've started to have a bit of disposable income. However, if I couldn't afford to do something, I wouldn't ever expect others to sub me.

We all know the people that make the most drinks in the office but 'forget' to put their money in the tea fund every week or the person that will go to the pub and only have a fruit juice if they're paying for themselves but will have a double spirits and mixer if someone else offers to pay; The 'oh dear I've got no change to chip in for the taxi, I'll give it you back later' and never do, or those that haggle at boot sales over a 50p item!

sooty&sweep

Personally for me it's not about how much money but attitude to money and how people prioritise.
There are those that don't pay their debts or contribute but can still afford to buy a sandwich every lunch time rather than bringing something from home.
If everyone has had more or less the same then it is easier to split the bill but for those not drinking etc etc then it's better to split it.
Jen

*max*

Didn't you just buy a pram for several hundred £s, for your 11th child?

I'm sorry, but such blatant hypocrisy and sense of entitlement really annoys me, when there are so, so many people in genuine need. It derails the point.

pigpen wrote: »

Because they don't actually have the money to do those things..


nice to know there are such lovely creatures as you who are clearly well off enough to do those things thinking they are just stingy!!

I shall think of your compassion and understanding when I turn down a meal with my mother or my friend because I don't have the money because the £10 I'd spend would feed my family for 2-3 days!

pigpen wrote: »

Well it sounds like that is what the responders think.. but in my opinion the OP is having a pop at people who are utterly skint.. disbelieving that there are people who are actually so poor they can't afford things like a card or a beer or lunch out.


I'm not rich.. I don't like spending money either.. which is a good job because I don't have any!