Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

iammumtoone

Thanks for that info heartbreak_star I am now happily posting everywhere again :j, hopefully by the time they come back I will have forgotten about it.

I am still struggling with my son, we had another episode after school yesterday. I am now worrying what will happen when I have to work full time, he really isn't safe to be left alone and it is a real struggle to get him to go to strangers (ie childminder). The one we use now won't take him after primary school age and even with them he has a meltdown every time he has been, I can just about cope with this for the odd occasion he goes (don't have a choice) but not every day . I don't have family that could help.

heartbreak_star

I have to do a presentation today. I feel so stupid and unintelligent. Nasty bully woman will likely sit in front row and glare. My head is not a good place to be at all right now. I hate my job.

HBS x

Izadora

mumtoone - are there childminders who would look after him at your house or is that prohibitively expensive/still likely to cause a meltdown?

HBS - good luck with the presentation. You're not stupid or unintelligent and try to ignore the nasty glaring woman or make up ridiculous scenarios to explain why she's so nasty.

heartbreak_star

Izadora wrote: »

mumtoone - are there childminders who would look after him at your house or is that prohibitively expensive/still likely to cause a meltdown?

HBS - good luck with the presentation. You're not stupid or unintelligent and try to ignore the nasty glaring woman or make up ridiculous scenarios to explain why she's so nasty.

Thank you Izadora I just got a call for an interview so yay!

HBS x

elsien

May I join in with the work related blues on the grounds my workload is unmanageable and we've been told our hours are being cut. Because of course when there is too much work for any team to manage the obvious solution is to give you even less time to do it in.
Currently breaking out in a mass of cold sores.
Good luck with the interview, HBS. Now you can look smug at nasty woman.

onomatopoeia99

Good luck HBS

heartbreak_star

Thank you everyone

The presentation went OK - meanie lady did whisper a bit but no glares thankfully, and lots of people said they learned something

HBS x

faerielight

Hi guys, I've been a bit quiet, I've not been coping well since I went to the house and found the books, I was doing so well after the funeral and after talking to the priest, but I just feel so overwhelmed so deeply sad and flooded with trauma memories, new and old. Finding the books has destroyed my head, it really has, and the PD centre won't let me talk about it as they are not "therapists" but I can't get referred for therapy as that old team deem me too ill, so I've been bottling it up, and I feel so isolated. And the Addisons's doesn't seem to be getting any better, if I do 1 thing or get stressed, I feel so ill, I'm so exhausted, feel sick all the time, and bloated, which I can't work out is the addisons or if it's the hernia starting to strangulate, I get really shaky and dizzy. and also breathless, and asthmary, for some reason. . I went to the gp last week to get the results of the mri. It showed a herniated disc in L1 which is trapping a nerve, plus osteo arthritis in my left hip, on top of the sacroiliitis, and all my other arthritis, and my gp thought it was a bright idea to pressurise me to come off my morphine, and had a pharmacist sitting in that I didn't agree too, who was also trying to cull some of my psych meds. This GP is becoming just as bad as my last one in that the more concrete diagnoses I accrue, the more she puts down my symptoms to my PD.. she minimised the chronic pain I'm in, and the fatigue, and told me to ignore the mri result when I asked for steroid injections in my spine.. Also, she is still refusing to prescribe me the emergency injectable steroid kit and minimising the addisons. I've been trying for almost a month now , and it's a vicious cycle as I'm so tired of having to validate and justify my physical illnesses, her putting it all on my PD triggers the medical PTSD of the medical negligence, makes my emotional intensity higher, and in turn that makes her think that I'm exaggerating! It's soo frustrating and terrifying. I've got a phone convo booked for tomorrow and I'm going to have it out with her, but I don't want to have to change gps again, and I'm tired of having to validate anything, and it stems from being invalidated about the abuse as a child so it reinforces the feeling of powerlessness.

My uncle has still blocked my email address so I have no idea what to do about that as I refuse to have phone contact with him, it's all too much stress, and my male bestie has frozen me out for 2 weeks and I don't know why,or how long the silent treatment will go on for. I just want to hide in bed and !!!! the world out.

pollyanna_26

Oh Faerie this makes the comment on your thread earlier even worse .
I'm sorry your bestie has frozen you out too along with all the other stuff you're trying to sort and deal with .
Keep posting here and stay with the other thread for a bit as someone may be able to answer your original question about esa .
Don't keep everything inside your head . My dd has borderline so I understand how things can fast begin to overwhelm you .
As you know there are others on this thread with bpd so you have come to the safe place you mentioned in your pm .
I'll stay with the other thread and swat away any toxic newbies :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Meanwhile gentle hugs to you and any here who'd like one .
MU Keep on keeping on sweetheart x
Same for Melly and her Husband xx
Ono I hope the shoulder is a bit better . I don't get on with cocodamol but endured it for 3 days when I had a rotator cuff injury and then went on to a natural pain relieving gel which is always effective for me .
Hot water bottles and wheat heat wraps are useful too .

As always thoughts with Was. Wasp and Millefleur I hope she's well xxx

Take care all from the seldom seen hummingbird
polly

jobbingmusician

Hugs and squishes to all who need them, or anyone who would like one. And a special call out for WaS, hoping you are well and at least managing to follow the thread. Missing you!

Ooops, crossed posted with pollyanna (hadn't refreshed page). Lovely to see you and we are both thinking of WaS!